I had the following dream last night, which was unusually long and I somehow managed to recall in vivid detail:
It started off with a recurring nightmare with my mother and I in that scene from the original Jurassic Park where a rainstorm knocks out the power to the electric fence that keeps the T. Rex fenced in. We are in the Jeep like those two kids when the dinosaur comes out and tries to attack us.
Figure 1: My dreams fucking suck
My nightmare is, however, different than the movie in three ways:
- I am armed with a sword for some reason
- I try to fight the dinosaur
- I kill the dinosaur by stabbing it in the brain through the eye, but then it falls on me and kills me
Usually I wake up at this point, but last night was different. Last night the dream continued past my crushing, as my soul exited my body…and went straight to Hell.
In Hell, I found out that my brother is Satan. Seriously. My soul was taken to the throne room of Hell and none other than my older brother came out from behind a curtain and sat down on the throne. My brother did not look like the devil. He had neither horns, nor pitchfork, nor hooves, nor was he even wearing red. He was, in fact, wearing the same brown Gucci suit he wore to my cousin Ramon’s wedding. Oddly enough, I don’t recall being surprised by any of this in the dream.
Figure 2: The awful truth about my brother
I don’t remember what my Satanic brother said to me; all I know is that my punishment involved me being reincarnated as 6th grade teacher at my old elementary school. Here are the highlights from my stint as an educator:
1.) Somehow, the kids already know that I’m Native American. When I walk through the doors of the school, they have built a bonfire in the lobby and are dancing around it like Kevin Costner in ‘Dances with Wolves.’ The principal is participating.
2.) I introduce myself as ‘Mr. Johnson’ for some reason (this is not my real last name), but the kids refuse to address me by any name other than ‘Chief Runny Colon’.
3.) I have two teaching assistants. I have to go upstairs for a meeting with the vice principal, and I leave my students in the charge of the TAs for ten minutes. When I return to the classroom, my teaching assistants are holding a poker tournament with the students, and they are using real money. Most of the female students are being used as cocktail waitresses and are serving booze. EVERYONE is drunk. It’s at this point that I realize my TAs are Michael and Dwight from ‘The Office’.
4.) For whatever reason, I’m supposed to teach Calculus to 6th graders. The poker tourney inexplicably vanishes and the kids are all in their seats. I’m in the middle of explaining derivatives when some kid behind me yells “YO TEACH! MATH IS FOR NIGGERS!” The kid is Vietnamese. He is also wearing a Rayden hat. The black students jump out of their seats and beat the living shit out of him. I do nothing to stop it. I am subsequently fired.
Figure 3: Did I mention this asshole was the principal?
I woke up at 4:30am laughing my ass off.
You may be wondering why I would hate dreams if this one made me wake up laughing. I’ll tell you why. Because there’s something in my subconscious that’s telling me:
- I’m going to Hell even if I die fighting a 7 metric-ton prehistoric apex predator to save my mother’s life
- 11 year old girls can be cocktail waitresses (I suppose this explains the whole ‘Hell’ thing)
- I associate Asians with Rayden
I’ve had the regular dreams, sex dreams, and superhero dreams that anyone could consider normal and aren’t too difficult to explain. I cannot, however, explain the dream where I’m in a Kay Bee Toy store beating ninjas to death with a fire extinguisher. I cannot explain the dream where my father and are are Achilles and Hector dueling like Brad Pitt and Eric Bana in ‘Troy’. I cannot explain the dream where I walk into Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory, shoot Willy in the head, then turn around only to be shot in my own head by none other than Katie Couric.
Just take a moment to imagine some of the sick shit you’re encountered in your dreams. Now, try to come to the understanding that it’s all coming from within your own mind, and that your dreams are only as fucked up as you are. Disturbing isn’t it?
What’s worse is when you wake up from your dream angry as shit at someone for something they did in your dream. I almost called my sister up just to cuss her out 1 hour after I had awoken because of something I dreamed she did. Luckily I couldn’t remember her number, there would’ve been no explaining that.
AND WHATS MORE DISTURBING, SOME DREAMS YOU START TO ACTUALLY BELIEVE!!!
Wow I thought my mom was the only one who had crazy ass dreams like yours until I read this post. Although I think hers are the result of watching a tad too many Star Trek The Next Generation and Twilight Zone episodes because someone is almost always getting blown up and she’s running through a spaceship somewhere.
Ahh Rayden…that takes me back =)
Damn, did you at least get to have a gobstopper before Katie put one in your dome?
Love this site, by the by.
I used to have this dream that this crazy woman pulled a knife on me and my mother and tried to kill me. When i told my mother about it she said that actually happened. Talk about a freak out.
I used to also have this dream that I was trick-or-treating with my “friends” (i use quotes because i didnt actually know them but in my dream we were friends) and we’d get to this house where an actual witch would answer the door, green face, wart, cauldron and all and she’d keep kidnapping the same friend as the rest of us ran away.. I used to have both those dreams at least once a month.
Lately I haven’t been able to remember any of my dreams.. but when I do.. and they’re weird, I go to dreammoods.com and it’s usually really helpful.
@ Shine -
So true. Last week, I dreamed my boyfriend (of almost four years, I’ve known him for ten) had two children (under three years old) by two different women…that he just let me know about by having the children’s mothers bring them to one of his family reunions, of which I was also a guest.
I was livid when I woke up, but it took me a couple minutes to realize it was a dream.
I had a dream where I was dating Arnold Schwarzenegger [sp?]… Then The Dream Got Worse! He was some sort of secret agent [think True Lies.... Jim Belushi was there too] and as he went to stop some bad guys, I went downtown and an atom bomb went off offshore. I started to run to outrun the blast and ended up hiding in this families’ house in their led-lined closet and when I came out, instead of everything being burned, all the plants were HUGE and man-eating. [I kept having to squirt them with pepper spray from my purse].
When I woke up I was so freaked out that I went online to check the news to make sure no bombs had been set off. As I became more awake, I realized I’m surfing on the internet thinking “what the hell am I doing?” and went and got some cawfee.
OMG! I swear just this morning I learned that my dreams where I feel like my soul is separating from my body, or that I’m trapped inside my consciousness but i can’t move physically are indicative of dissociative disorder.
Damn I really am crazy, my friends weren’t kidding.
Any psychologist in the house????????????
Lol thats a crazy mothereffing dream
- http://www.anythingblack.net
You are sick, it’s confirmed. And you’re probably watching too much TV/online stuff before bed and it’s effecting your subconscious. And the fact that you have Asian friends - get rid of them.
I almost always dream in third person (if that makes sense) where I’m watching myself interact with others and the environment. And all of my recurring nightmares since childhood involve water and/or driving. In my most recent nightmare, me and Dave Chappelle were on an out-of-control school bus that drove off of a bridge and plummetted into a river.
Well Chris thanks for sharing your crazy with the group somehow I don’t feel as bad.
“11 year old girls can be cocktail waitresses (I suppose this explains the whole ‘Hell’ thing)”
Probably.
My dreams are usually really great, to the point where I want to stay asleep or they take place at one of my former schools (usually high school, sometimes grammar school or college).
My worst dream was when I was 6 or 7 and dreamed that Shredder from TMNT was in the grocery store and he was gonna kill everyone. I was trying to get help from Sensei (?) but I didn’t want to get too close to him because he was a rat.
No, actually my WORSE dream was a few weeks ago, and I dreamed that I was in the bedroom chilling with….*tear* Prodigy from Mobb Deep. WHY???? And that following day, I got a plugger for a “Free Prodigy” party. It was scary. I also once dreamed that I made out with Juvinile. I need therapy.
“11 year old girls can be cocktail waitresses (I suppose this explains the whole ‘Hell’ thing)”
You say hell, R. Kelly says “HELL YEAH”. To each his own.
I was reading parts 1, 2, and 3 and thinking, “Well this ain’t so bad and it’s kinda funny” as far as Hell goes, then I ran across the pic of Donald Trump with the caption that he was your principal. *shivers* That’s not EVEN right.
I’m still tickled at the Asian kid wearing a Rayden hat because a) I wish there was a deep voice in the dream yelling “Finish HIM!” because that brings back all kinds of warm fuzzy memories and b) I’m down with any elementary school that allows kids to wear Rayden hats in class.
Stop eating bad food so late at night.
@Sista: You say hell, R. Kelly says “HELL YEAH”. To each his own.
HILARIOUS!
I’m mad I want to know what the brown Gucci suit looks like.
I remember having a dream that I was in the Nightmare on Elm Street movie. Now THAT was f-ing scary. I also woke feeling kind of bad, because in the dream when Freddie Kruger was trying to back me and this white chick in a corner with a huge ass pair of scissors, I pushed the girl in front of me and escaped through a side door that conveniently appeared. Oh well. There’s just some scarifies you have to make to survive.
Even in a dream
I have the sort of dreams which mean something, I have often lived out my dreams after having them and now I love dreams and have interpretations for them.
http://stuffgirlslike.wordpress.com
@Sister Tolda, you dreams need interpretation. I have been know to give free dream interpretations.
I don’t even remember most of my dreams but the ones I do usually involve either sex, a fist fight, or me climbing some national monument (never all three). I get alot of celebrities and people i kno in them too…. hellifiknow what they mean tho.
http://trialandera.wordpress.com
AHAHAHAHAHAHA@Quiet Storm! That’s messed up! I think every child of the late 70s/early 80s had a dream about Freddy’s bitch-ass. Or Jason. Or Mike Myers (Halloween, not Austin Powers).
Thechad - are all three things (sex, fist fight, and climbing national monument) SHOULD occur simultaneously. You need to make that happen and report back.
one time i had a dream in vivid technicolor with shapes and wild bold color melting and oozing…i remember being both hot and cold and feeling super trippy… i kind of had the feeling that i was dreaming but i couldn’t wake up…i don’t recall being scared, just weirded out by the colors..when i woke up, i had a big white crust of dried drool on my face and lightheaded…turns out, i had taken too much nyquil and was having a bad trip….
@ Stuffgirlslike- Please, tell me more. I need to know why my dreams lead me into comprimising situations with marginally talented, hardly attractive rappers. This isn’t my future, is it?
I rarely have dreams that I remember…and the ones I do usually involve sex or something that has (or hasn’t happened yet) from the past or future.
Anywhoo, Chris, you weren’t the only one having crazy dreams last night-I had one too. I dreamed about zombies…like Night of the Living Dead creatures. They had red circles and crust around their eyes…that was how to distinguish them from real people. They were running around eating (or trying to eat) people’s brains). There was even a guy (who I met on the bus) who “disguised” himself as one of them, to (a) avoid being next on the menu and (b) to get close enough to them to beat the hell out of them and render them uselss. Somehow, they kept missing me (I kicked the shit out of them when they got too close and it actually worked). I wasn’t scared in the least.
I remember finally saying to myself…okay, I’m so DONE with this dream…it’s lasted a few minutes too long. ( Kinda like I was watching an SNL skit, but that’s a whole other topic). I woke up, shook it off, and that was it.
@ ST -
I had a similar dream in TMNT heyday.
I think you mean Splinter.
i have crazy dreams sometimes, but it usually depends on what i watch/eat before i fall asleep.
i am terrified of horror movies, but for some reason the really stupid, campy ones freak me out
i had nightmares for years that critters were rolling into my room and trying to eat me.
remember that huge ball they made, and starting rolling over and devouring the townspeople? …yeah that was in my dream too.
you need to stop smoking that shit, homie.
yup.
Oh wait no, I know whats worse. I had this weird dream a month or so ago. I was enjoying a nice sex dream with some man when I felt like I opened my eyes and it was a male friend of mine who had a girlfriend. As soon as I realized it was him (and I was dreaming within my dream) I pushed him off and damn near cussed him out. But worse is that I realized I was naked and my clothes and the exit were past this big plate glass window that looked right across the courtyard into his apartment where his roommate (and another male friend of mine) was, along with his girlfriend, anothe chic from our clique and my nigerian friend from school. And they could all see me.
The roommate got so disgusted with me he wouldn’t talk to me or even be in the same room as me. The girlfriend was sad, not mad but we started to make amends when I was trying to explain it was an accident. Also that it was all this guys fault. The other chic was looking at me stupid because my explanation that I accidently had sex with your boyfriend of whom I’m not at all attracted to is fucking stupid. The only person who would still hang out with me was my Nigerian friend because she didn’t see me in the window. And that stupid boy I was accidently screwing was like, we should date now because my girlfriend will never forgive me and you know, we already screwed. I woke up laughing and wanting to cuss him out for ruining a perfectly good sex dream. But then those are the dreams you can’t tell people they were in because its just too weird.
Chris, did you tell your brother you dreamed he was the devil?
Unfortunately, most of my dreams are “real life” things, that confuse me in real life. For example:
* I’ll have a dream that I woke up, showered, ate breakfast, etc. only to wake up to realize I overslept and didn’t do any of that.
* If I have a big project to do, I’ll dream that I did it, only to wake up and either a) realize I didn’t do it or b) swear to my boss I emailed a report, then check my ’sent items’ and realize that it was a dream
* Wake up at 1am terrified after a dream that I overslept. Proceed to wake up every 20 minutes terrified that it will happen for real. One hour before my alarm is supposed to go off, I give up, and just get out of bed.
I was done at Rayden.
I am crying… this dream is hilarious!
My dreams range from weird shit to things that will happen in my life. I RARELY have sex dreams (fucking sucks) but a majority of my dreams don’t make a lick of sense.
I’m glad to read that I’m not the only with an overactive subconscious! Now my dream last night/this morning can’t top Chris’ but hanging out with Brody Jenner in my hometown still creeped me out. By the way, did I mention Brody and I saved people’s lives by handing out BLTs with cucumbers and towing a Bentley?
Has anyone ever told the person they had the sex dream about it, and is it wrong to look at the woman and recollect the exact events in the dream?
Am the only one who constantly dreams that I am falling, to wake up feeling like I am at the edge of the bed and actually gonna fall, but I’m not?
Lindsay- YES! Master Splinter! The only rat that deserves to live.
My BFF and I, who feel much like the author about the Faux-Creole Queen of Texas, both dreamed in the span of a week that we were hanging out with Miss Knowles and she was like, the coolest girl ever. This HAS to be yet another marketing technique by her crazy daddy: dream invasion.
Mr. Bruins - depends on your relationship with her.
I do hate my dreams since they usually manage to warp whatever happened during the day or whatever emotions I felt toward something or someone and fuck’em up beyond recognition. It is like my arch enemy hits the play button whenever I go to bed.
ok, so I just returned from lunch in Chinatown (DC)… and saw a dude wearing a Rayden hat!
@ Sista Toldja - I feel you in the falling bit. I’ve had several dreams to which I think I’m falling from you name it and then I have this huge body flinch to “save” myself from hitting the floor. Of course, I’m no were near the edge of the bed and the next thing you know I’m wake feeling dumb as hell.
Last night I dreamed I was giving a blow job and my two front teeth kept flipping open like a doggie door over the recipient’s frenulum.
bwahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa!
@ST -
No, but I have had dreams in which I am falling from a great height, then hit the ground in my dream. My whole body jumps from the impact of “landing,” and I jolt awake.
And I won’t even mention the dreams I have that end up happening (fortunately, it’s never been one of those falling ones). It’s weird.
My dreams are freaky. The other night I had a dream that I was in Malibu having sex on a cliff with my high school physics teacher when a huge blue dragon comes out of the ocean and tries to devour us. The next thing I know, I turn into the Phoenix ala Jean Grey style and a bunch of birds started to attack the dragon. I don’t remember the rest because I woke up.
Another time I was in heaven standing before God butt naked except I was wearing leather thong with chains wrapped my hips. God and his celestial warriors were having chicken dinner and I was negotiating a loan for God to cosign on. God cosigned the loan and I used the money to buy a pink turtle.
Very similar to Seven.
But lucky for me most of my dreams involve sex and I always wake up happy. Hehehe. What helps is if I think really hard about sex before I go to bed. Hahahaha.
@ Muse -
What did God look like?
lmao
oh my gosh. i always get such a good laugh when i come here - thank you!
p.s. i have lucid dreams - so imagine how f-ed up your dreams would be if you could also CONTROL your actions in them! insane….and quite fun sometimes
Muse - Just Say No.
@ Lindsay, My guess is this
HAHAHAHAHA, Merri Lee.
Not a diva sometimes I do have Lucid Dreams which are VERY awesome. I’m really into studying dreams so my little pet project has been learning how to control them. There was one time I had a harem of men….Boy was that fun. Ironically I didn’t let them take turns having their way. They were actually cleaning my mansion, cooking dinner, giving me foot massages and taking my best gal pals on endless shopping sprees to Jimmy Choo.
not.a.diva - most of my dreams are lucid, too, but I never have the presence of mind to ‘control’ them. I just go with the flow but still understand it is a dream, the only thing I can control is when I awake. Does anyone dream in black-and-white?
AHAHAHAHAHA@Merri Lee. So God is a Magical Negro?
I honestly don’t remember what God looked like in my dream. He wasn’t a White man with long Blonde hair that’s for sure. I just knew he/she was there.
I actually suffer from occasional hypnagogic hallucinations which are scary sh!t. Basically, my mind acts like I’m awake. I’m sleeping, but I can “see” my ceiling, the walls around my room, etc as if I’m lying there awake. What’s scary is my mind knows I’m asleep, but I can’t wake up. It probably lasts no longer than 2 minutes but feels like hours. A couple of times I was face down in the pillow and damn near suffocated.
I have nightmares quite often, the worse being one where I was devoured by werewolves at my mom’s house in LA. I was running and running around the yard and into the house and there were vampires who sucked my younger sister into the ceiling (wtf?) and then i got caught in this little back corner of the backyard. I removed myself from my body in a way and watched the werewolves rip me to shreds. I woke up sweating and out of breath. Talk about scaring the piss out of yourself.
My older sister has trippy dreams-when she was about 4 she told my mom that she had a dream about giant neon toothbrushes that were trying to stamp on her in a completely black world, like outer space but with a definite ground and gravity.
My worst recurring dream is one where i’m running through a field with a white dress on being chased by giant purple rabbits hopping on their hind legs and spraying old-timey bugspray canisters of poison at me. The grass is slippery and wet so i can’t run as fast as I want to. The dreams would all end in a new place as I kept having them: First they ended with me running. Then seeing a giant oak tree in the distance. Then climbing the oak tree and waiting for the rabbits to come. Then Link (from Zelda the video games) comes to my rescue and straight up Anime-violence kills every one of them. Then I would start eating the tree, which turned out to be made of chocolate. Then I’d dip cherries (where I got them from…?) in the tree and feed them to Link. Then Link and I would get it on.
I stopped having those dreams about a month ago.
Chris, SBPH has been straight up hijacked.
OMG he was the dude from Sesame Street as the favorite Game show host…Childhood memories. AWWW
Meri-I have those hypnogenic whosit-whatsits too! I didn’t know there was a name! I just thought I should drink less.
I am ignoring Creole Troll just as I am ignoring the 6 year old standing at my desk. (Hopefully if I don’t make eye contact, she’ll go away.)
I suggest you stay away from cheese at least 2 hours before bedtime.
Love your blog, btw.
that is tooo crazy love it!! i have crazy ass dreams i cant explain either.. like the one i had last night. I was dreaming that my husband was a vampire turning me in to one and we ended up on this show called Blood Ties that use to come on Lifetime(I love that show) and we were looking for this killer and stuff and I swear i could feel my man’s teeth sinking in to my arm while i was sleeping and i could taste blood in my mouth but i was sleep still and then it went to some other shit like me driving around during the day coming froma target peeing on a pregnancy stick while driving WTF!! and then it turned it to the Amityville Horror movie and shit and my husband was posessed and tried to kill me and our three kids(who i never saw the faces of the kids either) to me riding on Optimous Primes( Transformer) back shooting a machien gun at Megatron… ahahah I got issues..
SPEAKING OF HANDJOBS…
In my dream I was giving my stepbrother a handjob, in a bathroom with pink accessories.
I have never been so disgusted when I arouse.
Looks like it already has turned. One need only mention sex and the conversation deteriorates.
This one has been surprisingly on-topic though.
This dream took place last week and I am still disgusted.
Fortunately, dreams and sex often go hand in hand.
Mrs. Epps! Where have you been, woman? I thought ST was gonna send out a search party for you
Oh, and you watch waaaay too many movies. I do that too though; I have schizo dreams that jump from one thing to another and everything is completely unrelated.
Sorry should’a mentioned I hallucinated when I had chicken pox. And thus may not have been sleeping when I was ‘dreaming’ about the damn cookie
Shine, that scared me.
UH…….
It was scary, but everyone just usually laughs at me because I had a nightmare about a giant cookie.
Ne -when you arouse or arose? Do I detect a Freudian slip? *hangs Dr. Phil-fake psych diploma on wall*
NotABlonde-Mrs. Epps! Where have you been, woman? I thought ST was gonna send out a search party for you
Oh, and you watch waaaay too many movies. I do that too though; I have schizo dreams that jump from one thing to another and everything is completely unrelated.
girl i know I went ghost a for a fews day hahaha damn this job making me work and crap…hahaha i know i watch way to many movies… and yea i hate when i have dreams like that going from one thing to another im like damn c’mon now stick to one topic!
Ne- you gave your step-brother a hand job ummm thats disturbing..
I had a HOt as dream about my ex that i went to prom with and omg **fans self** and then i woke up and my man was like Baby you were talking in your sleep again. Im like Oh shit what did i say??? he was like you kept moaning and kept saying ” ohhh yea right there” and started laughing.. I was blushing like shit and bust out laughing.. then he was like sooo what was i doing to you?… and then i started choking and coughing and said “huh”? tryign to ingnore answering him.
sigh..that was a good dream…
wow, we ignored Creole Beauty so well, her comment disappeared!
Since the topic is sex and dreams, I think, has anyone every orgasmed during a dream? Most of my ’sex dreams’ don’t even involve actual sex, more the idea of it, the philosophy of it, no intercourse, oral, nothing.
Sorry to hear about your dream (nightmare) Ne
I used to dream sex dreams like that. Like I’d be doing something totally unrelated to sex, but something with a repetitive motion with a sexy guy, and I’d be horny as hell. But now I dream that I’m actually performing some sort of sex act but not climaxing. Disappointing.
@Knatural.. I have had sex dreams with the full act of it. So much so that my husband claims I was moaning in my sleep!
Tell me about it miss epps.
MERRI LEE…LOL
I was not aroused at all. In the dream I was looking away with my eyes closed tight. Like I had to do it before something happened to him. I never saw his face in the dream, I just knew it was him. Yuck!
YUCK !
YUCK!
I had plenty of sex dreams but never the kinda were i found my panties soaking in the morning…Dammit!!! I would wake up horny as all hell though..lol
Oh god, I talk/laugh in my sleep weekly! I can never tell a lie because sleep will surely betray me. The ’sex’ dreams are weird because they are soooo vivid and soooo intense, but don’t resemble the real life act. I do usually have these dreams right after a good pounding, but still. Dreams aren’t always literal anyway, if so, I would be extremely worried, to say the least.
So are the dreams just all the acts leading up to it? Or does your dream just leave that part out?
Sort of like when you have dreams and you can’t see the person’s face.
I can’t say I have ever climaxed during a dream. But my man has :)arouse with cum on his thighs. He would wake up breathing fast talking about he had a dream we were actually doing it, like it was real.
atleast it was dream Ne..I came home early from work one day during my senior yr of high school and saw my parents fucking hard core in their room.. Im scared for life… I would get so pissed when mt parents did shit like that thinking i wasnt coming home til late.. I would bring my friends over and they would go in the room and blast some slow jams and shit like we didnt know what was up.. every friend I have ever had in my whole life has witnessed my mom screaming and shit and then seeign them tryna sneek tot he kitchen unnoticed..my house always had that lingering smell of bengay and candles.. SMH
Does anyone else ever dream about random people? Like a person you don’t even know? That seems to happen to me a lot!
@ Mrs.Epps did you say that happened for real?! Or you dreamed that you walked in on your parents?! Wow!
bwhahahhahahahahahhahhahahahhahhahahahahaha
at least your parents played music. My loud ass moaning mother knew I went to sleep late in high school. Like you couldn’t wait until you knew I was sleep.
I have never had a visual though. I probably would be in a nut house.
@ dynamicdiva–I dream about people I see at work all the time.
Ok.. So it’s not just me. lol. Well as far as walking in on my parents I was spared. But I there room was next to mine and one night I heard my dad telling my mom to put the red nightie on. I immediately started banging on the wall. I was like yo, I am still up. YUCK!
Diva no it was not a dream! That shit actaully happened… I told my mom i was going to my friends house after work but I came home to change my clothes and i was goign to my room and their door was wide open im like DAMN DAMN DAMN!!!
Ne- ahahaha girl but why did they have to do it every time i had company over like WTFFFF WHY WHY WHYYYYY!!! so when ever my friends came over they would yell out “SLAP ON THAT BENGAY MAMA” ahahha
I came home too early once from the Y when I was in 7th grade and my mom wouldn’t let me in. She came to the door covering herself like “I thought you were coming home at 7….hold on” and made me stand outside the apartment until she got whomever it was out of my line of sight. I went in my room and blasted “Hit Em Up” by 2Pac for about an hour, cause I was so mad and grossed out.
thanks Mrs.Epps. Now I will go poke out my mind’s eye. Parents don’t have sex, ok, they hug and yell at each other and send birthday cards, no sex!
Dynamicdiva, it’s hard to verbalize. Sometimes the dreams involve foreplay, sometimes just sharing the same space with the opposite sex. And I also rarely see faces, yet I still know who it is. It’s a feeling, such an out-of-body experience. And the gasms (that’s what I call ‘em) are so powerful!
“I associate Asians with Rayden”
LMAO…I might be on my way to hell too because I associate the two too!
Worst nightmare…
I had a dream my boyfriend at the time was having sex with some chick and I was standing there watching and crying. Found out 2 days later that he actually was cheating…I FUCKING HATE HIM!
Weirdest dream
My younger brother and I were at Disneyland and we went to get on this “ride” but it actually wasn’t a ride. It was a long narrow white hallway, something out an insane aslyum. And the KKK kept coming for us and then right when they reached out to grab us, they disappeared…
I have also had dreams where a boyfriend was cheating and he was. Perhaps that’s our intuition kicking in?!
Very interesting Mrs.Epps
@ dynamicdiva - it probably is. he was scum…on to the next!
i too have had the un-pleasure of walking in on my parents. when i was like 11 i just bust in their room one evening and looked hella confused like i know that didn’t just happen. i was so grossed out.
“SLAP ON THAT BENGAY MAMA”
…I can’t!
Mrs. Epps - I read that too fast and thought you caught your parents in the living room. Ahhhh!
Diva-Ok.. So it’s not just me. lol. Well as far as walking in on my parents I was spared. But I there room was next to mine and one night I heard my dad telling my mom to put the red nightie on. I immediately started banging on the wall. I was like yo, I am still up. YUCK!
LMAOOOOO girlll i would throw my shoes at the wall all the time omggg..like right when i would just about to dose off I hear my mom moanign n shit im like dammit I think one time I said SHUT THE FUCK UP but i dont think they heard me…
I have had plenty of sex dreams about co-workers and people i didnt know..I recently had a dream about my husband cheating on me with this small ass latina or asian chick while i was preggies(in the dream not preggies in real life) and i saw her and she wanted to speak to me and i pushed her ass down the stairs and she died. MUAHAHAHAH(evil laugh)
that is too funny!
hahaha in the livingroom Merri oMG NO if it was i would never sit on the couches in their house again…eww..gag
i have actually dreamed of the exact apartment complex where my ex was cheating. I would be in jail had the apartment number showed up.
How about having a parent walk in on you?! Now that sucks.
Knatural- I would die if that happened!!!!
WORD KNATURAL?
Mrs. Epps - maybe you shouldn’t anyway
LOL MERRI LEE
Knat that would suck!!! but i have had my mom bang on my door in college while i was doing the nasty with one of my ex’s ahhaa but she didnt walk in thank god because I was stuck in this weird position and got stuck hahaha
Knatural - my ex’s mom walked in on him getting down wild, freaky and vigorous. Unfortunately, he was alone.
hahaha Merri you’re probably right.. I havent lived with my parents for 3 yrs now so who knows whats gone on those couches now!
I ♥ MERRI LEE LMAOO
I wonder how many voyeurs come on this site just waiting to hear us start talking about sex. I mean dreams, this one was too easy. Is this why there’s almost no men who comment anymore?
I was about 19, me and my dad were sharing a studio. My dad had a girlfriend and was never there,