Every man has had a conversation similar to the following after meeting a woman in her 20s:
Guy: “So whaddyou like to do? Where do you hang out?”
Girl: “Oh you know, the usual. Bars, clubs, lounges, etc. I love to try new restaurants but my friends just aren’t into that sorta thing?”
Guy: “Yea? What’s their problem?”
Girl: “Well, most of my friends are guys. So we usually wind up doing ‘manly’ shit - trying new restaurants isn’t really their bag”
Guy: “Most of your friends are guys?”
Girl: “Yea…I don’t really get along with girls. Too much drama, and they’re too bitchy”
Guy: [head explodes]
Figure 1: If women hate each other, there should be a lot more of this
7 of the last 8 women I’ve met have tried to spoon-feed me this statement in some form or another, and many of my female acquaintances I’ve known for years say the same thing. All in all, I’m willing to say that 80% of all twenty-something girls I’ve ever met claim that all/most of her friends are men because girlfriends are too high-maintenance/bitchy/full-o-drama, etc. For whatever reason, girls seem about twice as likely to declare woman-hate if they’re interested in you sexually. This shit is infuriating for two reasons:
1. It’s a Lie
If so many women claim to hate hanging out with other women, they why the fuck are there so many women at social events hanging out with other women? And not just a couple women are seen together - it’s whole wolfpacks of chicks rolling six or seven deep and happily executing pre-emptive cockblocking for (or against) one another. You rarely, if ever, look around and see a pack of dudes orbiting their platonic female friend.
Figure 2: Myth
I can hear the ladies’ response now: “Wait! You’re wrong! Lots of girls DO have mostly male friends, they just prefer to hang out with one or at most two of them at a time! GIGGLE!” That brings me to the second reason woman-hating women are unmitigatedly repulsive…
2. All Her Male Friends Want to Fuck Her
Anybody ever notice that, for girls that really do have almost all male friends, pretty much all the guys are single? Married or committed men don’t hang out with women on the one-on-one basis those women prefer because this would enrage their partners for a very simple reason: barring special circumstances usually involving years-long friendships, men only hang out with women in the hopes of eventually having sex with them.
Pay very close attention here, ladies: MEN DO NOT WANT PLATONIC FEMALE FRIENDS.
Why the hell would we? Sure, girls have a lot to offer as friends. But male friends offer everything female friends offer (that we care about) without all the emotional crap. Being friends with a woman is like having a girlfriend who won’t have sex with you. Being friends with a man is like having a pet rock. You can neglect it, abuse it, fart on it, make fun of it, and yet nothing changes. It’s fucking awesome.
So yes, ladies - your single male friends are not your friends. They just want to fuck you.
Figure 3: (l to r) - how women think their guy friends see them, how their guy friends really see them
I can hear the responses to this already…
“But he’s so nice!”
Because he wants to fuck you.
“But he’s never made a move”
He’s waiting for an opening. He probably just watched “When Harry Met Sally”. He wants to fuck you.
“But we’ve been friends for ten years!”
See my answer above
“But he dates other girls!”
He does this to appear as if he doesn’t want to fuck you, so that one day you’ll fuck him*.
When you meet a guy and tell him that you have a bunch of male friends because girls are too ‘bitchy’, you think he hears “I’m low-maintenance and down to earth!” What he really hears is “I’ve got a mile-long line of dudes waiting to fuck me at the first available opportunity!”
Please please stop it.
*Empirical evidence has shown that there is nothing sexier to a woman than an attractive man who, while acknowledging her presence, seems completely uninterested in having sex with her. The more attractive the woman is, the more this rule applies.
I agree with most of this. However I think every women is aware that her male friend would hit if he was given the opportunity. Some women actually get off on that!
Question.. Would a guy seriously wait ten years to get it? Hilarious!
In certain situations, if the girl was built like Melyssa Ford or something. Yes
2 of my neighbors always claim that, yah I hate girls I can only hang out with guys and then theyre roomates lthey coo peoples tho. I only read the first conversation because im in a computer lab and dont want to look weird with thongs and playgirls all over the place. will continue this read later.
- http://www.anythingblack.net
Yo, I HATE the chick who says they don’t have lady friends. And Black women, regardless of educational level, adopt the same hoodrat-ass tone and speech pattern when they say it: “I don’t really get along with fe-males. They be having too much drama and I don’t be needing all that.” This is no more ridiculous than someone saying “Yeah, I’m Black, but I don’t really get along with Black people. All of my friends are White. Black people steal.” You don’t like women, because you are a bitch and/or a slut and you don’t want to be around your own kind. Either that, or you are insecure.
My guy friends over the years: one or two I messed with and then we realized we were better as friends, a couple who liked me but it wasn’t mutual, a few closet cases and the openly gay ones. One of my very best friends is a straight male and we have never crossed the lines. We are like platonic soulmates, the same person in a lot of ways. But he DOES get a little jealous sometimes when I flirt with men I don’t know in public. I think he’s more territorial than he is intersted in me though.
Sighs…
But he’s so nice!”
Because he wants to fuck you.
“But he’s never made a move”
He’s waiting for an opening. He probably just watched “When Harry Met Sally”. He wants to fuck you.
“But we’ve been friends for ten years!”
See my answer above
“But he dates other girls!”
He does this to appear as if he doesn’t want to fuck you, so that one day you’ll fuck him*.
LMFAOO..umm I’m not even gonna lie I have said these things too, not the whole most of my friends are males because they aren’t but i do have a few male friends and i have no doubt in my mind that they dont want to fuck me. I’m not that damn gullible and 1/2 my girlfriends are when it comes to their male friends. But I will admit playing madden 2008 and God of war and throw back some beers and watching the game at the ESPN Zone is way more fun than going to the club with my girlfriends and get drunk and having to hold someone’s hair up over the toilet while they throw up. Pass.. But what annoys the hell out me sometimes is when my girlfriends say I’m tom-boyish because I play sports and like watching football faithfully infront of a huge wide-screen/projector at my finace’s homeboys house(and ofcourse when I hang out with dudes my man is almost always there anyways because my male friends are his aswell). But that shit makes me want to curse a heffa out becuase I am far from tom-boy i just like things that guys like too. Like the other day one of my girlfriends come over to our new house and we were watching the TNA(not titts n ass) PPV on the computer and she asked me why I watch this man stuff isnt it boring? and then continued to to blab on about some gosip that i couldnt give 2 scoops of poop about. Sometimes females are fucking annoying and so are men!
I agree with most of this. I had a LOT of male friends in college who were geniunely very nice and I even was VERY good friends with two girlfriends. But I always knew most of them were one shot of Crown away from doin the nasty with me and keeping it amongst us with no jealousy, possesiveness, and all the drama some regular chick would have brougt.
As you get older, your FRIENDS not associates, really become more same gender. Not because my husband is jealous, but because what the hell business do I have sittin around drinking with a bunch of ball scratching men who are attempting to take a break from wives, baby mamas, crazy girlfriends.
I enjoy the company of people who want to talk about babies, weddings, and girly topics. Its cool to have friends that you can just let some of the seriousness go with. I see men all damn day, I want some women with my same brain power to chill with. I work in a male dominated field, my husband is coach and he could give two shits about the draperies I found on sale for 50 bucks. But my homegirls love that shit. With the exception of my gay husband, most of my FRIENDS aka the people I talk to on the phone, go shopping with, go to “girls nite” with are women.
My husband is my best friend, and he is enough man for me. I dont need another male up in my grill all the time.
@Mrs. Epps- I forgot to acknowedge tomboys! They off course get a pass, as to the girls with the, uh, extra bass in their voice and baggy pants.
And yes, drinking with the guys and watching the game is always a blast. I just tend to be the chick who is also gonna make the snacks and bake some cookies as well. I love having guy friends, but I’d die without the girls! I lived with to men and a butch lesbian before, which was a lot of fun. But it was so hard when I was trying to get dressed and needed opinions. All they could come up with is “It’s good cause your titties are out” or “I can’t see your breasts in that one.”
@ Sister Toldja I must agree “You don’t like women, because you are a bitch and/or a slut and you don’t want to be around your own kind. Either that, or you are insecure”.
So True I had this girlfriend that claims that she dont hang out with women but yet she has been my friend sicne we were in 1st grade hahah. But honestly not to put her shit out there she has mostly guy friends a) because they buy her drinks at the bar b) she’s a slut c) Did I mention she was a slut hahaha
No wonder we arent that great of friends now. But I guess you always gotta have that one slutty ass friend hahah. Its good for when you go the club then all the dudes can hit on her and not you, especially since I am engaged.
so…you just want to fuck me?
i’m doing it wrong…i better go find some girlfriends to hang out with…lol
Sister Toldja- hell yea @ just tend to be the chick who is also gonna make the snacks and bake some cookies as well.
Me too!! It will be like a little party make some fried chicken maybe some homemade fries, cut up some veggie and fruit, play some TONK(card game). I ove my male friends too they are hella chill but my girl I gotta have my chicas, sometimes I need my ” OMG did you know that bitch is pregnant”! LMAO
First off, I really wanna hang out with Mrs. Epps…
I agree with all of this 100%. This shit was too funny and all too true. The one thing that pisses me off even more is when women think they have the little ace in the hole with their “gay male friend”. You know which one I’m talking about ladies? The guy who claims to be gay, but you NEVER see him with another man, you only HEAR stories and this “faux-fruitcake” touches you, grabs your hindquarters and breasts even more than a perverted straight man would? Gay friend my ass, this particular perpetrator falls right under the category just as much as your little platonic friends. Ever seen “I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry”? No? You probably should as fast as possible.
Chris,
Where do you find these pictures? Miss Universe has a horse’s mouf if I’ve ever seen one
“Sure, girls have a lot to offer as friends. But male friends offer everything female friends offer (that we care about) without all the emotional crap. Being friends with a woman is like having a girlfriend who won’t have sex with you. Being friends with a man is like having a pet rock. You can neglect it, abuse it, fart on it, make fun of it, and yet nothing changes. It’s fucking awesome.”
Exactly
Personally i know every male friend I’ve had has wanted to have sex with me, but I don’t care because i can neglect this desire without getting any heat because of it. Unless of course he;s unbalanced then it gets a little crazy. Friends where nothing changes no matter what happen are great, but give and take is also wonderful. (that;s why good men get so attached to their women, it’s like “wow! I can care! i can care!”–lol I’m kidding)
I’d never tell a man I don’t have a alot of female friends because they’re drama, here;s why:
1. My favorite: Fuck ya’ll, I’m a woman first! I have to deal with being a woman all day and all the bullshit that life throws at you because of it. So I’d never put down women as a whole just to impress some dude who most likely wants to hit and run anyway.
2. I have been able to maintain a handfull of wonderful friendships with women and they are awesome people, albeit mostly earth signs like myself, a bit more practical than other folks MALE and female. My closest girls would never get sold out for some random stranger’s attention.
Yes, well I think what you find repulsive in this women hating women issues is the self hatred. That being the case you only have to thank the history of male oppression and sexism in society, viacom, the male music video. Thank Statements like: “Fat chicks are fun to ride, but don’t let your friends see you”, “Bend over and show me what ya working with”, “Slut, whore, ho, trick, bitch, …shorty” ,”Hootiers, yum yums, snack trays, party favors” and all the other ways men find to dice us up into NOT REAL PEOPLE, ie figure 3. So fuck what ya heard, I have female friends when the shit hits the fan they’re who I trust.
(from now on I’m cussing i don’t care there’s just to much shit to get pissed about)
And once again, the Ladder Theory holds true. Frankly, any given male would fuck any given woman at any given time. It just all depends on the quality of women they’re able to pull…for each level they can’t attain, they go a bit lower on the ladder. However, on the women’s side, they have one ladder of guys they would hit, and another ladder designated for guys that could NEVER in a million years get on the ladder they wanna be on. If these were the last guys on earth, she’d either become a lesbian, or just go celibate. While all the guy wants is physical sex from the woman, the woman probably just prefers the mind fuck she gets from having great conversation with him, but would never actually ‘drop the draws’ for him.
I think a lot of times guys do enter inter gender friendships with pure intentions, but if they could get it, hey, that would be a nice benefit, wouldn’t it? But usually, it’ll get to the point where sex is the determining factor of whether the friendship lasts. Most of these male-female friendships won’t last long because it’s gonna come down to whether or not the female would EVER fuck him. Frankly, at least 93% of the time, the only inter gender friendships that withstand the test of time are friendships where one, or both, of the parties are gay.
Esquire-”I enjoy the company of people who want to talk about babies, weddings, and girly topics. Its cool to have friends that you can just let some of the seriousness go with”.
Can we hang out because as of right now I need more friends like this. All my friends what to do is talk about their drama with their boyfriends and going clubbing on the weekend. Im not even in to all that shit. In my free time I am usualy home with my fiance or at a gathering that we were both invited to with “grown folk”. I feel as thought me and my old friends arent on the same page and we really dont have anything in common anymore. Probably because they are still stuck in kiddie mood. Im not, I just bought a house with my man, we are planning our weeding in hawaii, talking about having children. I had have the time or money to be going up in the club spending money on $10 drinks to sweat out my hair dancing and get hit on by some wanna-be Young Jezzy.
SMH
@ Mrs Epps- Awww! You can tell me all about your wedding plans, I’ll listen. Ain’t NONE of my homegirls anywhere near that yet. Meanwhile, I have a screenname on theknot.com….
Chris and SisterT are toally on point here: In summary
I don’t like to hang wif FEmales and I can’t get along with wimmin=I am a delusional self hating shrew.
hahah
@ Mr. Smith-First off, I really wanna hang out with Mrs. Epps
You know which one I’m talking about ladies? The guy who claims to be gay, but you NEVER see him with another man, you only HEAR stories and this “faux-fruitcake” touches you, grabs your hindquarters and breasts even more than a perverted straight man would?
Dude hell yea! I fuckin hate these fakes ass gay males. My bestfriend has one of these. I keep telling her that dude wants to fuck her so bad he pretends to be gay. She will swear up and down that he is gay. Im ‘like sweetheart dude is gay a) you never seen him hit on another gay dude b) you never seen him hold hands, hug, even kiss a man on the lips in your presence. DCude is not gay. I have plenty of gay friends male and female. Gay males especially will let you know the deal. He will go tot he club with you and dance with other dude and i mean like grinding dick on dick and if he is drunk enough you will most likely see him making out with another dude. My friend tooke me to this gay bar once when I was living in Florida, gay ppl galour dancing and making out n shit. So ladies if he hasnt suggest going to a gay club yet dude is soooooo NOT GAY!! he wants the “cuddy”.
Sister Toldja- YAY that would be cool because, my friends dont wanna hear about that shit. They either roll their eyes out of JEALOUSY. Damn that’s one thing that is also annoying about female friends especially the ones that have a low-self esteem. They are some fuckin HATERS!! Whenever you have something good going on in your life they want to down it and say shit like: “Hmm he gonna cheat on you” or ” I dont trust him”. My friend had the nerve to say that CRAPOOOLA to me when I told her I was engaged. She didnt even meet my fiancee yet and already had something negative to say. SMMFH. An don top of that I have to deal with her fuckin insecurities. We have the same convo everyother day it goes like this:
Her- eww i look a hot mess today look at my face im so ugly you the pretty one you always get the guys.
Me- sighs.. you not ugly u are pretty why always say that, and no I dont always get guys
Her- Whatever im still ugly and ur the pretty one I hate you.
What I really wanna say to her:
” Bitch yes your fucking ugly, a ugly ass slut with low slef-esteem that fucks anyhting with a dick and balls”.
HAHA
“Bitch yes your fucking ugly, a ugly ass slut with low slef-esteem that fucks anyhting with a dick and balls”
Um…what’s her number?
Figure one is also a good example of why women would hate themselves. Got any school girls getting spanked by a yard stick in the folder.
“I don’t have female friends”=”I’m different than the others please treat me like a real person”
I am going to get myself all the way in trouble for this one and I really do not care.
Speaking from my perspective only, I will openly admit that I have a number of female friends who I regularly keep in contact with… and yes that my girlfriend knows about. Calm down, don’t get out your flame throwers yet. The reason for me maintaining contact with various women that I’ve know for (damn…) ten plus years is a combination of friendship and maintaining potential business relationships. Now there is NO denying that at some point I (like many other men who were in college) would have liked the chance to saddle up and ride the women i was attracted to, but the opportunity never presented itself… be it because I was in a relationship and she was single or vice versa. Regardless, maintaining boundary driven acquaintances is imperative for maintaining and moving forward with success (of course dependent on what profession you’re in… conflicting professions just don’t work). Ever heard the term “Its all about who you know?” Well I keep that option open… as does my girlfriend.
Now if anyone here is too insecure to admit to your significant other of friendships and they are too insecure and paranoid you may do something promiscuous its quite a shame. Just remember, it takes two to tango.
In furtherance of Mr Smith’s recommendation, i would say read a brief synopsis of the movie. Even though the love of my life (Jessica Biel, is this the wrong forum to admit that on?) plays a major role in it, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry may be one of the worst movies of the last 3 or 4 decades.
LMAO@ Chris. Um trust me you don’t want that loosey goosey. BUt she is a freak no doubt. Many of days I was in the room while she was riding some dudes pogo stick and watched does that make me a freak too. bwahahahaha. One day I will stop telling on myself.
“Many of days I was in the room while she was riding some dudes pogo stick and watched does that make me a freak too. ”
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You dirty girl LMAO hahahahahaha! Oh that;s funny.
@ SIster Toldja,
C’mon now. Some women are just plain wack. Granted, I have women friends and we’ve been down for years, but I don’t think I’ll ever find friends like them again. At the same time, I’m not the “soft and pink” (albeit I do love me some makeup) type of woman.
There are things that I can’t talk about with most of my women friends (i.e., politics, rap music, feminism, a book I’ve read, basic non-women-bashing dialogue, etc.). For a lot of women, I’m too “nerdy”/”geeky” so I end up talking about shopping or TV or I just listen to them talk about whatver.
I see your point about the rationale. I had to work on that.
Admiral Furiuos- I must agree with what you said. I think its important to keep in contact with ppl in general business relationships wise. Becasue you never know who can help you out career wise. Male or female.
Mkaaay so what you are telling me here is that as a “platonic friend”, I happen to bring nothing interesting to the table other than my vagine?
:”Mkaaay so what you are telling me here is that as a “platonic friend”, I happen to bring nothing interesting to the table other than my vagine?”
No. Your vaginas aren’t really all that valuable.
As I said in the post, women have something to offer. However, as friends, they have nothing to offer that men can’t offer - and they bring plenty of negatives in addition to it.
The difference to a guy between male friends and female friends is the difference between someone handing you $150 and walking away, and someone else handing you $100 after kicking you in the testicles.
I can’t relate. I have a ton of female friends. A few I met as a kid, some from high school, some from college. I don’t really have a problem relating to other women, probably because I have a good relationship with my mother.
But I can generally pick out women with low self-esteem. You know, the self-hating ones who claim to hate all women because they really hate themselves. I run as fast as I can in the opposite direction.
@ Anon- I feel you, sorta. All of my closests girls are ’soft and pink’ with variying streaks of ‘hard and black’. I haven’t worn pants or shorts in 4 years, but I don’t waste time discussing fashion unless I am actually shopping at that moment or trying to dress for an occasion. The things you said you can’t discuss with your women friends are the things we ALWAYS talk about, plus career goals and boys (from the silly stuff [fantasy weddings] to the important stuff: [dick size]). And we can all drink ANY man under the table, and still look good doing it! You just need to find girlfriends like yourself, is all.
This whole conversation , coupled with how sweet and WONDERFUL I smell today, is making me love being a girl so much! I am about to go stand in the mirror and twirl in my skirt! BRB.
@ Mrs. Epps,
Girrrrrl…One of my friends is like that. Damn she’s insecure. She’s a petite chick with no T&A and she gets insecure around me and our other women friends who are fuller figured.
We worked at the same job back in college, and some cretin greeted me but was talking to my breasts and I rolled my eyes and didn’t respond. You know we women just love that kind of attention *Rolls eyes* Anyway, Insecure Friend said “I don’t need big boobs and a big booty. I got a pretty smile.” I was like “Did I say anything about your bird chest and flat ass? Nope. So what was your point in saying that?” And she was dumbfrounded.
Thank God she’s married now cuz she’s quite the attention whore.
“but its all good my man found it cool when we 1st met and stumbled across my “Ass Parade” DVD”
I;m pretty sure that’s why you’re married now, LOL. I had a male friend tell me 2 weeks ago, that if could have several wives one would be like me and the other like Trina. Which I’m sure meant: “Start acting like Trina so i can fuck you.” but whatever.
“damn I told on myself again ahha”
Honesty is the greatest thing on the planet. Please live your life!
Chris you ain’t evah lied! Every male friend I have ever had has just waited for me to be between boyfriends to bust a move. Some even 10 years. Brothas will wait . . .
These women who talk about females who bring too much drama just happen to have the wrong friends, if you hang out with women who will steal your man and compete with you over men, wrong friends. I prefer women and gay men (where my gays at?) as friends, platonic males friends are truly on that bullshit! i can easily be one of the guys, but I like being a woman and i don’t need to impress these fools with my down-to-earthablity (fully aware this is not a word).
@anonymiss - girl you need some intellectual friends, who are these 7th graders calling you geeky? i do have an IQ requirement, i will not be friends with people who do not read and have no clue about the political climate in the world - sorry i can talk about shoes with anyone! I agree some women are just plain wack, those are not my sisters, i am not going to engage them in any real way, but I can’t really participate in that real deep down woman bashing, it just feels wrong.
LOL@ attention whore…your friend and my friend should get together and have drinks Anonymiss. And on top of her low-self esteem she date dudes that treat her like shit. her last boyfriend who she was with for almost 5 yrs. abused her metally, emotionally and physiaclly. This dude was a real assclown. He would talk down to her in public they would beat each other up. fight all the time, everyother day i would get a call from her crying saying he hit her and shit and me being like her little sister wanted to kick his white ass(go figure). What made it worse was he slept with all her female friends too except me ofcourse thats just fucked up. Like dude was a real prick he asked her if he could have sex with me on valentine’s day and this needy ass bitch had the nerve to ask me if I would do it for her so he wont leave her..SMH my words to her exactly : WHAT THE FUCK I LOOK LIKE YOUR HOE”!
sista toldja you is a fool and i love ya! i’m about to go and twirl my skirt and sniff myself as i do it too! love love love being a woman! and i like your friends, they sound a lot like mine, hard and black, with a little perfume, high liquor tolerance, low bullshit tolerance.
Voodoobooty-they sound a lot like mine, hard and black, with a little perfume, high liquor tolerance, low bullshit tolerance= Mrs.Epps
Anonymiss people who don’t think past their ass come in male and female variety, I’ve met plenty of men that were pretty but dumb. Damn the other day i met this dude that was so super super fine. Exchanged numbers talked on the phone geese it was like talking to box of bricks or a box of dildos. Heart breaking the man was fine, but I couldn’t do it.
@ VoodooBooty,
LOL! I swear, I tell my BF about this and he’ll say “It’s OK to have trivial convos.” And I’m like “But damn! All the time?”
Yeah, I need to find more like-minded women. I thought I found one in my coworker friend but God is she a catty bitch. I hate negative energy. Like I could look at another woman that’s attractive and/or well-dressed and not have to size her up and think “Bitch think she cute.”
Mrs. Epps that’s a really fucked up story. Damn that;s fucked up.
“Anyway, Insecure Friend said “I don’t need big boobs and a big booty. I got a pretty smile.” I was like “Did I say anything about your bird chest and flat ass? Nope. So what was your point in saying that?” And she was dumbfrounded.”
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHHA! That is mad pathetic! I could see if she told it to herself in her head, to try and cheer herself up because she has a bird chest and flat ass, but for her to SAY it to you? I would have grabbed my chest and added “Well, everybody smiles at my pretty boobs!”
i have been guilty of saying this before.
but this was before i started meeting mature females that i wanted to hang out with.
(i STILL only really have 2 close female friends. i just got rid of most of the male ones too. there were too many times that they had me trolling for ass for them)
i agree with most of the comments. the main reason women dont hang with women is because of the insecurities involved. i also had a uber skinny friend (who isn’t much now…karma’s great) who used to argue me down about how big jawns are haters. thats why she didn’t wanna hang out with them, talk to them, associate…period. mostly i believe that when she went out she was just pissed that no one wanted her number.
same girl exclaimed loudly in the club once
“THIS PLACE MUST BE FULL OF FAGGOTS CAUSE NO ONE AIN’T TALK TO ME YET. WE GOTTA GO”
I agree with Sister Toldja - “I don’t really get along with fe-males”
Usually the company you keep is a reflection of one’s self anyway. And when it comes to friends, quality over quantity.
but I do think that if a girl is socialized around males, more than females, she’ll be more comfortable around males in general, which is a form of insecurity I guess. And like Anonymiss said, I’m not a soft and pink type of woman either and I tend to enjoy “less girly” things.
Anmarie- Very true story.. I have so many story over the past 10 yrs about this chick, I could write a whole blog full of crap about her its so sad. I swear girl hasn’t been happy a day in her damn life. But I had to take a break from her negative vibe because I’m a happy person most of the time and she just UHHhhh. Especially from what happened between us at her place. Ho wanted to get drunk with a bunch of her “guy friends” and we start talking about sexuality and stuff and I dunno what happened but the convo turned to who had better boobs me or her and everyone said me and she was pissseeeedd that i was getting all the attention once again and decided to swing her fist at me and scratched me on my kneck like she was some fuckin feline. Being the person that I am(watches to much UFC and wrestling) I grab her fist in mid air kick her in the back of her knee and push her ass to the ground and put my knee in her back like I was 5-0 hahha. So yea I dont take no SHIT.
Wow, My friends are cool, flat, busty, big, little, insecure, or proud. I love them.
on that note, I’m out.
Mrs. Epps and Sister:
We would have a blast cause my drink of choice is a beer (Im a cheap date) or some brown liquor, but there is a side of me who likes hormonal things like HGTV and I loooove my Kitchen Aid mixer. I will fight over a Cowboys game and we sit behind the mound at every Atlanta (insert racially discrimantory name) game we get the chance to. But I will burn up an outlet mall and leave me alone when Girlfriends comes on.
Man bashing aint my thing, buy you a fuck em dress or a good book and keep it movin. I have my own family and problems. My husband and I have an understanding, we dont bring outside ish into our house…that negativity will kill a family.
And you probably outgrew your old friends, its okay every once and a while to revisit your “wild” days, but I prefer the nice quiet boring yet fulfilling life Ive got now. Give me a good debate and some popcorn…its ON. lol
@ Mrs. Epps,
Oh my. That’s just awful.
@ Anmarie,
I know. I’ve met some dumb men in college. That’s when I started to realize that having a college education doesn’t make you smart or interesting. I’m saying though — he couldn’t at least be a jumpoff?
@Sister Toldja,
LMAO!!!
Sista tolja that is sooo ture. If a woman says that she has no female friends because they have too much drama and are bitches, then most and morae than likely she is the bitch that no one wants to leave their man around. She is also the chick that most than likely steals things and starts the fights at the club. Normally it starts off like this ” What she lookin at” and “Btich say what now”..Please I stay with my wolfpack, they always have my back.
Surely@ Esquire! I am cheap too. me and my soon to be hubster are strictly beer/malt liquor drinkers for right now. One day we will have our fully stocked bar, but shit we just moved to our house a few months ago so we got bills out the ass for right now hahah. But yes I think you right i grew out of my old friends and I think thats why I hang out with mostly my hubby’s friends. Atleast they can hold a convo that consist of real shit that is going on in the world rather is beyonce and jay-z really married(who give a flying flip) But yes I must say chillin with the hubbster is way more fun and less expensive than hang with my girls sometimes. All they want to do is spend money on high priced drinks that barely have liquor in it(you know some bartenders are stingy with the liquor). Im like ok umm I have to pay my mortgage soon and the light bill. PAss
@Admiral Furious…
I will say this: Male Associates: MANY MANY MANY, Female Associates: TONS TONS TONS
REAL FRIENDS aka, giiiirl I will have my husband whip his ass, lets go to the mall, lets talk on the phone, cry on my shoulder, you are my childs godmother, is there a booger in my nose, oh no that bitch didnt look at you funny, I may lose my law license over this favor for you friends=4 or 5.
There is nothing wrong with business or work relationships, when you run for office, I will contribute to your campaign, hey lets go to happy hour associates of all races and of both genders. But as far as someone I really truly truly call a friend (this is excluding cousins, those brought up as your family) they are few and far between…and happy to be my gender. Nothing to do with insecurity on my part or my hubby’s. This is just how it happened.
But I am 28 and I am interested in daycare, weddings, decorating, and flowers. I dont give a damn about lil weezy’s new song or rims, Jordans, or whatever else it is (besides boxing, baseball, and football) that 20 year old men find cool.
Mrs Epps,
We just passed the free pour bill in SC. BIGGG Mistake. Mini bottles are the way to go…its a guarenteed amount of liquor in your cup.
And find you some homegirls to be happy and excited and girly about your wedding. It IS a big deal. We as black people should be more excited about a couple taking vows. sheesh.
p.s. your house will be worth it when you get those taxes back. lol
BTW…
and happy to be my gender.
should read: HAPPEN to be my gender. lol Im typing while billing at work…let me get back to the plantation…
Oh no they didn’t pass a dumbass bill like that! SMH and Mini bottles are the ish don’t have to share a dman thing damn RELOADERS!! haha And see I really do need to find some new girlfriends that arent HATERS and yes black ppl need to be more excited about a couple taking vows. Its annoying when a black woman are you pregnant when you tell her your engaged. WTF so I gotta be pregnant to be getting married? Which makes no sense since we have all these “baby mama’s” walking around unwedded. Damn shame really. All these children out of wed-lock. Im not saying that its worng to have children while your not married but atleast think about it. Im tired of seeing these damn ppl on Maury and shows like his with women looking for their baby daddies and have 5 dudes up there for one kid. Like why in the french toast did they make condoms for??!! hmm i think i found my next subject for my new blog.
Alot of the things MrsEpps and Anonymiss said ARE the reasons why girls claim they don’t have girl friends, so its not just because they are “B’s, sluts, and whores”. Women, even those who you have known for years, can be so jealous and attention whoring. They don’t know how to be happy for you when you accomplish something new (graduate, engagement, bought a house, baby etc). And those friends are the ones that you usually grow out of once you near your twenties.
Once you get older you will probably have one childhood friend, a work friend, and a few from college. Its not outrageous to me that many women keep male friends. The more fabulous you are the more “Queens” you will have adoring you! But in all honesty, my best friend is a guy (And yes he has a crush my family teases him about), and I love all of my VERY gay male friends. Gay pride is the highlight of the summer.
@Esquire
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having friends who are all from the same gender… and if I implied so, I do apologize. Having a diverse set of friends (genders, races, creeds, etc) can only come as beneficial as long as chivalry is alive and well in your heart and the heart of your significant other (if you have one). It was just a general statement.
But again, having a group of friends that comprise of mostly males or females is like having a group of friends that are only black or only white. Though it may seem sexist or racist from an outsider… the intent is not to discriminate at all; instead to bring together a group of individuals who share common goals and interests.
I have been guilty of saying that in the past but only because…my ‘friends’ were all male! They were my brother’s friends who just adopted me because I was too evil and psychotic to make any friends of my own.
Now, I don’t have friends, period. I have my female acquaintances that I hang out with and my male acquaintances that I hang out with. The closest thing to actual friends that I have are my two female cousins. We all admit that we’re only friends with each other because no one else can put up with us. We know and accept this.
I would be more than happy to hang with females if they weren’t so turned off by the fact that I am a total bitch, I give my HONEST opinion, I don’t care about any of the stuff they care about and generally am still slightly psychotic and evil. I would hang with men too if they would accept the above facts as well. They usually don’t. They really aren’t all that different.
I have maybe 3 guy friends. One of whom is like my brother (although I think if I weren’t dating someone when we met we would’ve tried to scoop me), one of whom I became close with because he was cool with my ex (although I think his girlfriend thinks I’m tryna put the moves on him), and one of whom is like my brother-light. He’s immature so he’s always talking reckless and saying “sit on my face,” and whatnot. I think if I actually let him hit he’d do it just because. I had this other guy friend who was cool, but I knew he was waiting for the slip up of the guy I was dealing with. He’d stay asking “why do you still deal with him,” or randomly asking me how he was (although they didn’t know each other) just to see what I’d say. His “friendship” status was well known - particularly one drunk night when he called and said (no bullshit) “Where are you at? I’m trying to come see you right now. I just want to eat you, yo. Just let me do it. Tell me where you’re at. Like, you don’t have to do anything, I just want to eat you.”
My life is fucking ridiculous.
bwhahaha@ slightly psychotic and evil
@ Beautifldreamr:
Girl, there are plenty of women out there like that. In fact, that’s all my circle of friends are comprised of - that’s why we get along so great. I mean, clearly we’re not bitches for no reason, but we’ve been known to end people’s careers (figuratively, though we came close to running an operation on someone once). Being a “bitch” isn’t about having a nasty attitude 24/7, but we’ve been known to check people’s monkey asses when they fall outta line. It’s particularly hilarious because none of us are over 5′5″. Actually, we have the most inappropriate asshole humor (that’s why we Stan for Chris’ site) because we say shit like this ALL the time. As for men, I put them into two groups - the one who wanna be in control and RUNNNN with that shit, and the ones who wanna feel like they’re in control but secretly hope you put them in their place. (some) Men like to be chastised.*
*I didn’t mean that in an S&M way.
maya-particularly one drunk night when he called and said (no bullshit) “Where are you at? I’m trying to come see you right now. I just want to eat you, yo. Just let me do it. Tell me where you’re at. Like, you don’t have to do anything, I just want to eat you.”
I had a guy friend call me up on my old nextelchurping me asking the same shit. He felt mighty dumb when my ex responded back saying ” umm dude your on speaker phone and the whole party just heard you and oh yea mother fucker you asked ma girl what”!!!! it was hilarious cuz him and my ex were cool like shit.
Admiral,
I see your point…
Ill make a distinction then, I have friends of both sexes. But my CLOSEST, most dear to my heart are black females like me. They already know me, they understand completely, there’s not so much teaching and explaining like I have to do with some of my associates. I had one white girl as a bridesmaid whom I care for, but I cant say I would bend over for her like I would my real homies.
I am just lucky that they are all cultured and we still are able to bring different things to our relationship.
@Mrs. Epps.
negros here voted for the free pour thinking they would get more, until all they got was more chaser. Too bad they cant take it back. I will say I was slightly annoyed, but I dont even go out enough to be that mad about it. Out to eat, Im usually drinking wine or a brew so the liquor doesnt matter. BTW: The “are you preggers question” when you are engaged, is as annoying as it is common in our community. So sad. If they dont ask it, they will just spread the rumor anyway..lol
My guy “friends” have come and gone, but my (few) girlfriends have withstood the test of time. “Bros before hoes” - male friends are flaky and especially if there’s a group of them, they will always stick/band together and drop you like a hot potato … and like the post goes, probably are after one thing… your (non-hater) girls will always be there. Sad I haven’t met more girls like that.
In the mean time, I do care about my ‘pet rocks’. Some of them need some looking after, some need advice, and some actually do need company (of the non-sexual nature). If I am wrong about my pet rock’s intentions, then its all good, I still derive the feel-good feelings any pet owner gets from petting their pet.
Women are life-support systems for pussies
$$$
@ Anmarie- Anmarie (15:15:44) :
“Damn the other day i met this dude that was so super super fine. Exchanged numbers talked on the phone geese it was like talking to box of bricks or a box of dildos. Heart breaking the man was fine, but I couldn’t do it”
Um, what was his name and number? Did he live in BK? I need a man like that right about now. We can have a great relationship and just skip the talking part. Bonus if he is as efficent as a box of dildos!
Women are life-support systems for pussies
I was wondering where you were today…
LOL me too@ Esquire I dont go out enough to be bothered by it. I mostly drink at home anyways. AINT nothing better than getting shit faced at your own house. You dont have to worry about crap except if needed making it to the bathroom in time to throw up(which has been a long time for me) I have a high alcohol tolerance, I need at least 4-5 drinks to actully feel any type of buzz haha. But yea girllllll i wanted to punch that old bag in her face for asking such nonsense, but I dont really blame her. Young ppl get married for the dumbest reasons now a days. Me personally, getting married for love, respect of each other and he’s like my best friend! among other things that happen at night(baw chicka wa wa) bwahahah..
Sister Toldja-Bonus if he is as efficent as a box of dildos!
Oh my…I heard that!
“You gotta lick it before you stick you gotta work it before you jerk it”
-Jamie Foxx(Bootycall)
hahahahhaha
After reading the post I have to say you see this mostly in ghetto people, white and black allt he same, i can’t stand it. good post c-dub.
hmmmm, evidently im ugly because the only thing my male friends do is rick roll me thirty times a fucking day. beware! there is now a rick roll phone#
goddamn u rick astley
hahahahha http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU
ahahahahahaahahaha
Hmm, sorry can’t jump on the bandwagon but some of the responses were great. I pretty much agree with Machete on this one.
stuffblackpeoplehate (17:30:46) :
Women are life-support systems for pussies
I was wondering where you were today…
My guess is detention.
“My guy “friends” have come and gone, but my (few) girlfriends have withstood the test of time.”
Wise man say - ‘The only thing your failed relationships all have in common is you.’ The only thing more amusing than ‘friends’ are so-called ‘victims’.
“Bonus if he is as efficent as a box of dildos!”
Ew.
“hmmmm, evidently im ugly because the only thing my male friends do is rick roll me thirty times a fucking day.”
Rick Roll is a verb now? Somebody please explain this to me.
*dead* at “detention” LMAO.
This is hilarious: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhcgd1Go7u4
my friends are in layers… like onions..
my three best-ies are sooo very dear to me and are white and mixed heritage.. and female.. women have the best laughs and heart to hearts with their own sex… period..
the ’skin’ outside this is mixed.. but predominately black.. and female - there are few males.. most of which are gay and black…
aquaintances however are male or female and of ‘any hue’.. and most sexual orientations.. living in london does that to you..
i have no problem with my straight male friends… they do not want to sleep with me.. i am far too fierce for them… i slay those punks on a daily basis..
rick roll.. what is a rick roll?
Ouch, Chris. That hurts.
And yes, can someone please ’splain the Rick Roll thing. I don’t get it.
“I’m assuming I’m the 8th of the 8″
Damn right, and thank God for that. Otherwise I woulda vomited all over your ravioli.
whaaat?! where you been chris?! its not just the ill fated internet click meme…people rick roll basketball games, rallys, parties, and, as i stated before, the frickin phone number (772-257-4501)… so yea, the term has pretty much infiltrated the spoken language
the sad part is that i now know all the words =(
Mrs. Epps—P-R-E-A-C-H!!! I was talking to one of my few friends last night who hasn’t joined the Baby Mamma Train about the same damn thing! The first thing she asked me was, “well why do you care if they’re pregnant and not married, I mean do you want to have a baby?” Sometimes with women, its not out of jealousy that we say the things we do. Sometimes, its about having (what used to be) common sense!
Two of my closest friends are having babies with people they knew for LESS THAN A MONTH before getting preggers! It seems like every day I find out about another friend who’s unmarried and having a baby! Its mind-boggling to me. Although it might be judgemental, I feel like we won’t really have that much in common for long.
Anywhoo, when you write that one up in your blog, let me know. I’ll be the first one reading!
Rick Roll http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU
Its just a joke were someone send you this link to watch but its a trick and all these pop up boxes come up singing that song(link above) while the music video plays. My friend did it to me one day ti was dumb as hell and annoying because every box you X out of another one will come up showing the lyrics of the song.
BTW the link i posted is not the trick its just the song..so dont worry
As I said in the post, women have something to offer. However, as friends, they have nothing to offer that men can’t offer - and they bring plenty of negatives in addition to it.
The difference to a guy between male friends and female friends is the difference between someone handing you $150 and walking away, and someone else handing you $100 after kicking you in the testicles.
True, and not so true, Chris. It de