I had a goddamn hard drive crash yesterday and lost about 50 pages of my work on the upcoming book. Needless to say, there will be a delay. 50 pages sets me back about 2 weeks, so be prepared for a book launch in mid-September rather than the end of this month.
I’ll be announcing the official release date (when I know it) on Facebook:
Click Me: Stuff Black People Hate Facebook Group
In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this as much as I did.
Through no fault of my own, I’ve been going out and getting drunk pretty much every day since last Friday. Every single time I’ve gone out I’ve noticed something that’s enraged me: attractive black women standing around dancing with nobody and, in many cases, seeming not to be having fun even within their own groups. This enrages me because hot black women are standing around bored while marginally attractive white women and asian/indian women who are so short they can’t ride most rollercoasters have the time of their lives.
As an astute observer of human behavior, I’ve noticed (and in some cases even documented) the behavior of black women in particular that tends to make them less approachable than members of other races. The following are my tips for increasing your approachability based on what I’ve seen. Before you jump down my throat, please understand that I am aware of other factors that our ladies have no control over that cause people to ‘pass over’ black girls. These are just simple tips to stack the odds a little more in your favor.
1.) Avoid large groups. Black women tend to follow an “if you’re gonna do it, do it big” philosophy when it comes to going out. They call all their fucking girlfriends and wind up at the club 8 – 10 deep. Unlike guys, they don’t show up and split up – they just stay together. Even the most confident and arrogant bastard in the world isn’t going to approach an entire platoon of women no matter how good they look. If you’re looking to snag (Indian term for communing with the opposite sex), you should roll preferably 2 deep but no more than 3 deep because guys usually ‘hunt’ alone or with one other guy. If you do show up in a group, split up into pairs and reconvene later.
2.) Body language. The thing that sucks about being a woman is that smiling and otherwise appearing approachable means that you’re going to have about 10 bozos approaching you for every non-bozo. I imagine this gets tiresome. Nonetheless, unless you run into someone who views making a scowling woman smile as a challenge, the scowl, folded arms, hands on hips, weight on one leg, and other negative indicators are just telling guys “this girl is in ‘bitch’ mode, and I’d just be wasting my time.”
3.) No Crescent. I’ve noticed that large groups of black women will, instead of dancing, line up in a weird Crescent-shaped formation near the walls. In this formation, you can usually see them pointing and laughing at people on the dance floor, which is never a good sign. Like a girl with her arms folded, the Crescent Formation casts a ‘Bitch’ shadow over the entire group and puts out a strong Waiting to Exhale vibe. If you’re in a big group, circle up and dance together. That invites the opportunity for a guy to ‘accidentally’ bump into you.
That’s all I’ve got for now. I’m sure there are others, and I’m sure the ladies have advice for men. Enjoy.
-Chris
I absolutely positively cannot stop laughing.
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He has the nerve to speak before the NAACP after opposing MLK’s birthday as a national holiday.
This this happens.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/07/22/single.black.women/index.html
Discuss. That is all.
-Chris
But feel free to enjoy: www.realultimatepower.net
The…Project continues.
Someone had mentioned before that there appears to be a relative dearth of good Black blogs and news sources, and coincidentally it’s those blogs and news sources that I’m looking for now.
Fire off an email to stuffblackpeoplehate@gmail.com with the URLs for any and all Black-run:
These are just examples and I’m sure I’ve left out some categories, so feel free to send me anything relevant in any category I may have left out.
Very important, however, is that you NOT send in any personal blogs (i.e. online diaries). It’s ok to send in blogs written by a single author that address issues relevant to some segment of the Black community – but people’s musings about their personal dating histories or how the weather made them sad last Wednesday couldn’t possibly be of less interest to me, or anyone else for that matter.
Please please PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE send these through EMAIL and don’t just leave the URLs buried in the comments section. I know some people are nervous about revealing their email addresses to me, but as the (literally) thousands of folks who have emailed me before can attest, I DO NOT SPAM.
Gratefully yours,
-Chris
I had massive problems getting back here from Chicago. New full post tomorrow. Certain people on Facebook need to be medicated. This is my new personal theme song: http://chickenwings.ytmnd.com/
That is all.
Figure 1: For a moment, I thought I’d have to move here.
-Chris
All,
There won’t be a post tomorrow b/c I’ll be getting my dance gear together for some godawful early-morning middle school performance where I try to teach kids a.) about the Fancy Feather Dance, and b.) not all Indians are dead. Then I get to sprint to BWI to catch a flight to Chicago where Chicken Jon and I will try to find Ninja Andy a wife.
Awesome.
Everyone have a delicious weekend.
Figure 1: My brother and I, probably talking shit.
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