For a long time, I thought the sight of vomit was the nastiest thing on the planet (not including feet). There can be no redeeming qualities about a big wet pile of half-digested human kibble mixed in with hydrochloric acid and God knows what other stomach juices staring you in the face. When I was in the fourth grade, some Chinese kid was eating pizza and puked it all up. The image of his PURPLE vomit has been seared into my memory ever since.
Figure 1: Good times
I saw a lot of vomit this weekend. I saw vomit on the floor. I saw vomit on a woman’s shoe. I saw vomit on the sidewalk. I even saw a remarkably large amount of vomit on the back of a hapless bouncer – which was rendered amazing by the fact that the vomit was located on his shoulder, which was way higher than the mouth of the perpetrator. And here I was thinking that projectile vomit was just a myth.
I learned this weekend, however, that it’s actually the SMELL of vomit that is the nastiest thing next to feet.
Last Friday was, of course, the informal and sparsely attended Stuff Black People Hate get-together. During the event, one of the attendees became insanely drunk and made what’s usually a rookie mistake – she stopped moving. Even worse, she sat down. Next thing you know, she’s leaning over and vomiting all over the floor. Part of me is smiling inside because I know this will enrage the owner (who happens to be my cousin, whom I hate), and another part of me is smiling because another chick in the corner of the room starting throwing up at the exact same time.
Figure 2: This doesn’t really fit into the previous text…it’s just funny as hell
Eventually I get my shit together and try to help the bouncer help her out. He, however, shoves me away for some reason (I’ll find out why in about 2 hours). I follow them outside to the smoking area – it’s at this point see the vomit (and karma) on the bouncer’s back – and then nearly get thrown out of the club when I try to bring the girl a cup of water. Over the next few hours, the following happens:
- I feel like I’m being followed by a strange, persistent smell that I can’t quite place
- I’m informed that the bouncers may be under the impression that I slipped the vomiting girl a mickey…which is interesting because she wasn’t drinking anything at the time
- I wind up taking a cab into Arlington, where some white guy has my phone that apparently I dropped in the club. Once in the cab, the smell is getting stronger
- The smell is getting stronger still
- The cabbie clearly notices the smell
- I retrieve my phone from a white dude named Greg. The cab has left me there
- I run 3 drunken miles from Glebe Road and Lee Highway to the Key Bridge before I find a cab
- The smell returns, and is now amplified by sweaty man funk
- Once home, I get a text message from a ‘witness’ indicating that I was vomited on
- I go to my closet
- The lower left leg of my jeans has puke on it
- The right sleeve of my jacket has puke on it
- Recognizing the smell, finally, I run into the bathroom and throw up my damn self
- Fuck
And as I sit here recalling the upchuckery of that night, I am reminded that one of the most painful things a man can endure besides passing a kidney stone is the empty vomit.
Ever done that shit? You feel the urge to yack, lean over the toilet/sink/cat ready to let one fly and finally feel better…only to wind up dry firing. Instead of a relieving flow of whatever the hell was making you sick coming out of your innards, you instead feel your stomach caving in on nothing, your abs clenching with a tightness well beyond your actual control and, of course, the horrifyingly empty and high-pitched “EEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!” being emitted from your newly contorted lungs.
I am never drinking again.
eeew.
“And here I was thinking that projectile vomit was just a myth.”
babies with pyloric stenosis can have projectile vomiting ( random trivia for most, i know)
I no longer drink ( blasphemy on this site, right) but i once vomited in a club in Nigeria after drinking some unknown lukewarm liquor and too many amaretto sours…trying to be cute and grown and ended up looking like an azz…the dude was trying to get me drunk so my “easy american girl” could come out
that was four years ago..would never want to relive that headache/icky feeling
really? an empty vomit is one the most painful things? dang, you men have it good.
“I am never drinking again.”
You say that now. Don’t know if you’ll hold to it but who knows?
Vomit is gross. I don’t like the smell or the sight of it. It takes me back to elementary school when someone would puke and then the janitor would come and put sawdust on it so they could scoop it up. Everyone stayed away from the upchuck kid for the rest of the day because of the smell.
I have vomit dysfunction around people I don’t know. It’s like I’ll hold the shit in even though it’s burning the hell out of my throat just so you won’t hear “Blaaaaaach”. (My family and friends will have to deal with it. Suck it up and like it.)
I raise your empty vomit with menstrual cramps. You’d want to kill yourself.
Vitamin B before a night of heavy drinking, propel in the morning. Keeps me from puking.
what you are talking about is chris is dry heaving.
::ew i hate that shit::
“i am never drinking again”
i have said tha phrase many times, and lo, i wa drunk out of my mind this weekend.
I’m emetophobic.
I can’t count on a single hand every time I’ve vomitted since about the age of 6. Other people vomitting is the #1 cause.
Gross.
Gross.
Gross…
100 proof vodka + guitar hero = drunken debauchery.
What the hell were ya’ll drinkin and how fast were you drinking it? I hate vomiting. I don’t care what the reason, I despise it. I had one really bad experience with liquor and that was all I needed to know my time and quantity limits. 2 drink per hour real slow. I’m a control freak and I can never be that out of it again. Plus that headache is worth than death.
Hope all ya’ll lushes had fun this weekend. Make sure to drink lots of water.
My freshman year in college I was so hungover I sat on the floor of my shower dry heaving for two hours. Fucking bleak.
*cups hand over mouth and runs to the bathroom*
Ewwwwww who doesn’t hate vomit? And how in the hell could u have vomit on you and not know? Vomit is just nasty especially the smell of semi-digested food/drink. My worst sight was seeing someone vomit by the London Eye and then minutes later watching the pigeons coming to pick food out the vomit. That makes me want to puke just thinking about it.
Last night I had the worst drinking night in my life, overestimating my ability to drink after a fluke night last week of no hangover. That was the first time I ever vomited the same night that I drank… always get my hangover the next morning and I was told that I’m ‘weird’. Look on the bright side Chris, at least ur mom didn’t cook less Sunday lunch dinner because u were hungover and hence didn’t need to eat (which means u starve) while simultaneously suspending your driving privileges indefinitely :S
I think I’ll follow ChaoticDiva’s advice next time cuz I know if I say “I’m never drinking again” I’ll just be lying lol. But where do I get Vitamin B?
On my 24th birthday, I drank about 4 glasses of Hennessey straight. I threw up in the club for like what seemed to be an eternity all over the floor. The bouncer had to carry me over his shoulder to my friends car- thats the last thing that I remember about that night soo long ago.
“I am never drinking again.”
Yea, that’s what they all say….
Personally, I’m a very light drinker, and thanks to this reference (on top of several others I’ve encountered throughout my high school and college tenure), I intend to stay that way for a long, LONG time.
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha this has so fully made my day complete. dry heaving is the devil, why does your body do that? i don’t get it.
p.s. drinking sprite/ginger ale helps with the vomiting. taking the early morning greyhound hungover does not.
Drink a litre of water before passing out.
Helps dilute the alcohol and gives you something extra to throw up.
See all these comments would’ve been more helpful before a. I stopped drinking due to 6 hrs of continuous vomiting/dry heaving every 10 minutes like clockwork – for the second time or b. 2:00 am Saturday morning.
As a white guy, I can share in the hatred of vomit. I became infamous at my school for bazooka puking out of a third story townhouse window after being introduced to a new type of social drinking called “shotgunning” Ugh. Never again. There’s a rainbow coalition in my stomach trying to get out!!!!
Nosepuking trumps all.
The End.
omg nose puke!!!
wnbt you need to re-calculate fine on fb
Chris you will drink and you will enjoy in fact you will be guzzeling be4 long…
I agree. The dry heave is VERY painful. Ur stomach and throat feel like they’ve been hit by a truck…not that I have been…I just imagine it feels this way.
Am I the only one who loves how I feel after vomiting? It’s like a clear feeling of nirvana when whatever demon was in my stomach is heaved up and out. I usually vomit while simultaneously crying and sweating and coughing. (just me?) Then in a flash its gone and I feel instantly better. Heaven.
No Esquire,
Not Heaven hahaa I feel defeated and ashamed if I throw-up!!!
I haven’t puked in 4years and I shall keep it that way uhgggg.
I second whoever said that cramps trumps vomiting.
I cant handle the sight, smell or the thought of vomit. My then 8 year old daughter caught a stomach bug and puked all over the bathroom floor. My boyfriend had to clean it up because Mommy (who can deal with baby spit up, diarreha, blood, mucus) can NOT handle vomit.
Vomiting lasts a short time. Cramps just stay around for days and days on end. (and make me feel nauseous, which is worse than actually vomiting for me: just random “feeling like you are about to heave” feeling is not good)
NOSE PUKING??????
what ever you do dont DRINK ICE COLD WATER WHEN DRUNk it makes your system go in to slight shock causing you to throw up… Drink room temp. Water, a multi-vitamen and an advil before you go to bed and you will be fine the next day.
23rd B-day i had 23 shots of SoCo and Lime… The only time in MY LIFE i had to be taken care of because i was TOO DRUNK (i pride my self on that)… The simple smell of soco and lime will make me vomit on the SPOT!
Oh and how was the “Chittlin Strut” in SC??
ass out, on a limb again……
…but it sounds like the merry lil band of stuff black people hate had a good time.
naw, not really.
suff black people hate
1.) drunk obnoxious assholes who throw up on others and themselves.
2.) drunk obnoxious assholes who *insert whatever the fuck here*
3.) drink gatorade and start over at #1.
btw, gatorade before and or after helps. replenish/stockup on electrolytes and hydrate.
fuckery, pure fuckery.
ahhhhhh ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, (inhale) whooooooooooo!
Man…this one time i vomited was at the beach and had nothing to do with alcohol…but everything to do with white people love of bloody meat and my trying to be polite.
Now i’m not talking rare steak with some pink on this inside, that’s cool. I’m talking steaks and burgers marinating in a 3/4 inch puddle of warm hemal fluid at the center of the dining room table.
This one annoying ass chick immediately yells “I want the bloodiest piece!” and didn’t care that droplets of blood had fallen into her milk in transport to her plate. And she licked the blood that had started to drip down her arm. I wanted to die.
I still resent my friend for immediately snatching up the only decently cooked piece of steak. So I grabbed a burger, which seemed ok. No. I bit into it and there was meat on the inside that was the exact same texture and color it was before it went onto the grill. I almost died again…but still ate around it
…because I suck.
I finished what i could but threw everything up at the end of the night.
I guess the glass of vodka cranberry may have helped just a little.
Omg and it was so chunky. BLah!
had to share.
Do you know it is women who vomit a lot?
I have seen this pattern since women have given themselves to drink especially in Britain, there has multitudes of places where you cannot walk.
http://stuffgirlslike.wordpress.com
i thought the Stuff Black People Hate get-together was a joke.
oh well. at least i missed the vomitting.
Besides actual illness only two things have ever made me puke (and I’ve had split bottles of black watch and e & j on an empty stomach and been fine.
Captain Morgan and Colt 45…seems it does work everytime for me. (Fuck you Billy Dee)
Sidenote: when vomit is mentioned I always think of The Goonies and Chunks movie story.
yea, I DO NOT vomit unless absolutely necessary. I HATE HATE HATE vomiting, and I especially HATE dry heaving. The first time I ever got my period I dry heaved, and it was pure hell…I remember thinking to myself, this must be why all women hate their periods. LOL
Yall had a REAL good time this weekend. So sorry I missed it!! Guarnteed I wouldnt have puked tho.
Hey Captain Morgans and Gingerale taste like Cream Soda…. DONT hate on it…
As a Grown Professional you should not be Drinking Colt 45 (Or steel reserve)
@ Landon:
In my defense I was under 20 the last time I drank the Cap’n or the Colt.
I never touched Steel cause I figured it was the new St. Ives (which was disgusting too). As a rule now I try not to do any sweet drinks…find the person downing sweet drinks and watch them all night…sure fire fun later.
I was doing Martini’s for a while, but I’m currently pissed because every bartender can make a sex on the beach but I can’t get a decent Sidecar.
Maybe I have it good. my cramps arent worse than puking up something Ive digested.
However, dry-heaving does not compare to a contraction.
I guess the Heavenly experience of vomiting, is not drunk vomiting. Ive only done that once, and there was nothing serene or cute about it.
THat is why i drink Bomaby and TONIC with a lime…
NO H ANG OVER BABY!
1st of all, I thought there were going to be pictures of the SBPH gathering? oh well, id rather not see black people throwing up, getting thrown-up on, or smiling with throw up on them early on a Monday morning.
2nd, this your post reminds me of the hog maws on your slave food post. My stomach hurts. Yuck.
Martinis?
I personally would slap a martini out of my husband’s hand. He better not be drinking anything my girlfriends and I would order. He better put some hair on that chest. lol
@ Esquire…if it’s good enough for James Bond…none of those sweet craps mind you, I’m talking Gin or Vodka.
Oh Yeah: Sugar = Hangover.
Esquire:
I am almost got my ass whopped by my home girls one time… We were walking on campus and one of them complained about cramps… So i turned to her with a straight face and said… “MY track coach told us to do long stride running to make the cramp go away, maybe you should try it”… The look she gave me would kill any MORTAL!
When i got a cramp i had to run threw it… i never knew there was a differnce in the type of cramps…
Do you. I just think its funny to watch a man holding a martini glass.
Why does my office smell like poo today?
(closing door)
I though mixing brown and clear liquor = hangover? What does the sugar do?
Landon
my cramps arent that bad anymore. But these cramps are different than a regular muscle cramp. I rolled my eyes at your statement…lol. But men JUST dont know. Most women’s cramps put us down for the count.
Imagine your stomach yanking like it does for a stomach virus/flu. All. Day. Long. And then having to go to work and still be pleasant, while your pants are too damn tight in the waist because you are bloated. Its not pleasant.
There is something about sugar and hangovers… drink sweet drinks all night or champagne and i have the worst hangovers… I dont know the science behind it but i am totally convinced sugary Drinks = DEATH!
@ Ayo
A bartender explained it to me once…the metabolism of sugar and alcohol depletes B vitamins.
Esquire:
How you think we feel, esp if you work with a lot of girl or have a girlfriend… not knowing their period cycle is like walking into a mindfield with no warning… ONE STEP KAAABOOOOMMMM she going APE SHIT ON YOu!
Isnt Rum distilled from sugar? I love fruity drinks, and I NEVER get hangovers from any thing except Tequila. But I lubs me some watermelon ‘ritas. LOL
Well imagine having menstrual cramps AND running cramps…My life once a month for the past 18 years…
shut up, Amadeo! THAT IS CRAZY! so, they created all of the fru-fru drinks for the ladies to be comfortable drinking, and they actually make them grossly drunk?
there is nothing attractive about a drunk woman.
i dont even know how guys could want to deal with one?
why do guys want to deal with drunk women?
one time at band camp…
i was at the club and this chick is do damn drunk that her legs won’t bend. and she was tall as hell. her smaller and shorter friend was trying to drag her tall ass out of the club, and her legs kept banging the exit door. finally a bouncer helped drag that ass out of there, but she was taller than his butt too. never been drunk at a club after that. it was like my own personal psa.
Hi. Sorry, but the worst kind of vomit is from food poisoning. No more Potbelly’s for me. Drunken puke is nothing compared to that. Dry heaves and bile, and yuckiness. Best way to lose seven pounds, though.
Who’s hungry??
greasy food the next day helps hangovers for soem odd reason
So true. A cheeseburger with a fried egg on top = heaven after a night of heavy drinking.
Landon, you cant feel like we feel. lol. My cramps arent that bad anymore. One thing I will say is, I hate when a female has a bad attitude and men blame it on a period.
Shit, sometimes we just have a bad fucking attitude.
Also, during that time of the month, it IS possible to be pleasant and not so fucking miserable, and go about your business, so noone knows or suspects. Men, stop blaming everything on our reproductive system. We dont blame everything on yours….or do we?
Oh God, food poisoning.
Had some curry from a dodgy indian place across from our work.
It was dirt cheap stuff, that should have been a warning.
The pain was so bad I was croaking down the phone to my local hospital begging them to send an ambulance.
Puking from over-indulgence is nothing in comparison.
Knatural: I second you. Drunkeness has nothing on true sickness vomiting.
*wipes away a tear* I helped inspire a SBPH post. I feel so honored. I should probably feel embarrassed, but m’eh, that’s not how I roll. Y’all got to witness my first public vomit episode so we’re all bonded and shit now, LOL.
Not to lessen the grossness of it, but vomit really doesn’t get to me. But of course in medical training you get your fair share of exposure to vomit, blood and all sorts of other fun bodily fluids. Also back when I thought I wanted to be a forensic pathologist, I did two summer internships at the PHILADELPHIA Crime Scene Investigation Unit and Medical Examiner’s office…I have seen and SMELLED things that would make Lucifer reconsider his life decisions. So yeah, now my olfactory sense and sense of what is appropriate dinner conversation are both forever fucked.
Anyhoo, all that to say, if vomit is the worst thing you’ve smelled and dry heaving is the worst pain you’ve experienced…you lead a charmed life my friend.
“There’s a code in your DNA that says tackle drunk bitches.”
The rest of that scene showed why that is a bad sentiment to follow. My man took this drunk girl home once and she hurled on his bed…then he asked her to leave and she got mad and said she wasn’t going nowhere. After she pissed on herself he physically removed her.
Lesson Learned.
i eat after i come from the club, so that way there’s no worries the next morning.
but i hate waking up with a dry ass (dehydrated) crusty mouth.
“After she pissed on herself he physically removed her.”
Logging off to do some work on that note. Thank you Amadeo
amadeo, that was by far the funniest and worst drunk girl story i ever heard.
That is true. I like to think it coats ur stomach. If Im drunk in philly, i go to this diner where everyone knows to give me the Drunken Special – Chicken Fingers, Fries, Onion Rings, Jalapeno Poppers, and Potato Skins. YUMMY!!!
I wish there actually was some magic formula – drink 15.7 oz of water .6 hours in advance of drinking then quack like a duck after every shot and you won’t get sick. I’m convinced sometimes my body just wants to fuck with me. There was absolutely nothing impressive about the amount I drank on Friday. Maybe I’m just getting old and losing control of bodily functions…Depends are clearly in my immediate future, bwahahahahaha.
Landon, co-sign on greasy food. I woke up Saturday morning and went straight to the nearest McDonald’s for a large OJ and hash browns. That is the only time I can eat McDisgusting but I was CRAVING it.
Dry heaving while in labor. Not. Celebrated.
Lovely meeting you on Friday, sir.
I can’t even listen to someone puke! Just the sound makes me feel nauseous. Luckily, I have an iron stomach and can only remember one time I’ve vomited as an adult. Of course I was drink. ; )
The absolute worst is just before my husband was diagnosed with colon cancer, he was vomiting SHIT! Yes, that’s right, if it doesn’t go out one end, it WILL come out the other.
******VOMITING SHIT*********
thank you, creativecat, my mind is not forever scared.
@Breez: no joke? That sounds like some serious hell.
@Jo: pretty much as bad as it sounds. And it happened more than once. When chicks espouse the virtues of natural childbirth and say they forget the pain, I want to headbutt them in the nose. You know…to remind them.
Thanks CreativeCat.
Thanks a million.
sigh…i hate the sight and smell of vomit..luckliy for me this weekend i didnt yack but i did get wasted from friday to lastnight. bleh….but i did dry heave at least twice while at my friend’s party… I was actually surprised that i didnt throw up while dancing on the pool table holding the two empty bottles…I thought i was a gonner for sure. But my man did throw up iot was hilarious..he’s a funny ass obnoxious drunk that likes to repeat that he’s drunk.
Us infront of our house on the 4th:
Me-you ok baby? I dont think you shoulds sit down right nowlet me open the door
Him-Im drunk hahahah Im drunk woooo im drunk as shit baby hahahah
Me-Um yea i know i was there.
Him-how did we get home? fuck Im drunk dammmit fuck shit…my head hurts **groans** I think i gotta puke…Dry heaves then proceeds to puke in my freshly planted flower bed..
Me-sigh fuck man i just planted those! AHHHH
Him-what? im drunk im sorry i need to sit. hahahah oppsy those were your flowers hahaha my bad.
Me-Take your drunk ass in the house
Him-IM drunk baby.. lets go get some beer.
Me-rolls eyes…
Vanita-Drunken Special – Chicken Fingers, Fries, Onion Rings, Jalapeno Poppers, and Potato Skins. YUMMY!!!
mm that sounds good
LOL…my mom is an OB/GYN nurse and did a stint in an L&D unit back when we lived in Hawaii. Apart from the fact that it was one of the busiest units in the nation (at the time), my mom always warned my sister and I to “take the damn epidural.”
I don’t give a damn what Ricki Lake says–pump me full of meds.
You do feel like a brand new person after puking; but having to puke and waiting for it to come up is straight wack sauce.
http://www.gettogetha.com/blog/
@ vanita
is it sad that your drunken special sounds like my ideal lunch? maybe i should stop drinking.
“After she pissed on herself he physically removed her”.
Llkjasdjhsadmjbskj!@#$%^&*((OLKN<FTW35457 OMGGGG toooo funny reminds me of when i was with my ex and his roomate one night.. this nasty fat bastard white dude was getting fucked up with this girl he brang over that he met in wal-mart.. well me and my ex are int eh livingroom drunk and higher than the clouds, laughing loud ass shit watching something..and then we hear them in the room fooling around which was way loud considering they were to jumbo pigs in a blanket. well we hear him yell “WTF” and burst out the room with this stink face on yelling at her to get out.me and my ex look at each other and bust out laughing when he informs us that the chick came on her period as he started to eat her out he had blood all over his white shirt and bed!…now thats some scarred for life ish
I, too, was a victim of the dry-heave recently. Horrible, horrible feeling.
@mrs. epps! *the chick came on her period as he started to eat her out he had blood all over his white shirt and bed!*
that is the grossest shit i have evar heard. evar!!!!
i for real feel like throwing up now. eww.
@ Puff & Mrs. Epps – Actually I could eat a drunken special now.
*decided to stop reading comments after about the 3rd one after my last*
You can go to GNC and get the liquid form of vitamin B and drop a little in some water or oj. I take the dropper and just drop a bit in my mouth. Although bitter, it usually comes in some kind of citrus flavor.
But yea, in addition to that, I usually will eat quesadillas before I drink…after drinking, I often have pancakes.
I remember this one time I drunk with a few friends, and they asked me and my drinking partner to make pancakes, even though we were the drunkest people there…I’m surprised we didn’t burn the kitchen down…lmao!
Yea i know Ayo…what made it worse was that our drunk asses wouldnt stop talking about that shit and laughing at him when ever he came from work…we are evil making fun of him. But I wanted to gag when he told us..i was dry heaving for like 10 mins
@ the dry heave comments…
I hate when I have the hangover headache and the queasiness, but never can throw up. It happened last weekend…I drank so much vodka…
Ok, so I’m a lush, who cares?
fuck you mrs epps, that was unnecessary. all the food my inner fat woman shayida just ate is working its way back up my esophagus. although, you also did cure my itis, along with the capri sonne i just drank, so i can’t really be mad…
*the chick came on her period as he started to eat her out he had blood all over his white shirt and bed!*
LMAO!!! Now who dont know when their period is coming??? I do NOT engage in random sexual activity 3 days before or after scheduled period because everyone know they like to mess up all ya plans. Now my boyfriend does not like to observe this rule, and after 4 years, no foul shit like that has happened to him yet. But I wish it would to teach him a lesson…
And I thought water made periods stop…
@ Mrs. Epps….just…ewww.
Pretzels are a drinking persons best friend.
Love ya too@ Puff
im sorry the story must be shared its way to funny!
Vantia.. i dunno hwo she didnt know her friend was coming..like foreal your a grown ass woman she was older than me too and she didnt keep track of her ish…sigh..well personally he deserved it! he was a fat asswhole who smelled like old pork. he was a weazer too.
yummy pretzels! yes they are a drinking persons bestfriend. they helped me a many of nights
im mad at myself though.. this whole weekend i had a chance to try bailey’s for the 1st time and i didnt…i was all about partying like a rockstar and drinking redbull and vodkas than “lets got to the parrrk”(john ledgend lyric) and sippin on baileys..sigh…
Mrs. Epps – baileys and getting drunk is a sure way to vomit…Its not for getting drunk, its for sippin! Dont you see the commercials? its old people in white sippin on baileys!! And redbull vodkas will kill you…
If you can dig guiness then do some Irish Car Bombs. When you get to the Bailey’s it’s so good.
I’m a firm believer in straight shots. Fuck beer, fuck wine coolers, and if you’re drinking mixed drinks, have a one liquor drink if you plan to get drunk.
Otherwise, you’re fucked.
Yes, I admit to having a liver made of iron, so I drink all kinds of shit. Omg @ skittlez…the most evil drink to drink EVER.
There really needs to be a drinking 101 class for those that are novices…
If drinking for intoxication for your first time, do not
1.) take shots
2.) mix liquors
3.) Drink Everclear or Absenthe
4.) Do not mix with any other drug
Vomiting is sure to occur, and only after a few intoxicated nights will you know what to drink and how much.
KNOW YOUR LIMITS!!
Liquors should not be confused with Liquers.
Southern Comfort is the one exception to this rule, as it is a liquer, but can be drank like a liquor with the same results.
Drink plenty of water before your planned intoxication.
Bring a buddy in case you do vomit, they can hold your hair back.
LOL Vantia.. yea i know bailey’s isnt for getting drunk its for sippin..sometimes i wanna sip
I wanna be the yuppie black person in white sitting in the lounge with her girlfriends sippin on baileys talking about nothing…
ok i just vomitted in mouth alittle bit re-reading that…fuck it gimmie a beer and some wings. and co-sign on the rebull and vodkas…it wasnt my idea…
@ amadeo yes! and flaming dr peppers mmmmmm…
guiness is the shit though – generally any european made brew. i’m sorry americans, but i can’t fuck with miller/bud/rolling rock. all of those taste like fizzy pee.
what is a skittlez? im a tom collins, cape cod, seven and seven or lemon drop girl myself.
best tipsy fix, pour salt in your palm and lick it.
I dont like shots so much unless Im @ home. They are expensive in clubs, and the cheap shit burns as it goes down.
*aside* there is a bottle of russian vodka in the freezer @ my job. Now they have lots of beers and wine in the fridge, but I about died when I saw that vodka in there. YTs get it IN!
lol @ Vanita….so true, so true.
Also, make sure you know what is is your mixed drinks…so many people will think that just because its a mixed drink, its not potent…examples:
skittlez: mountain dew, gin, vodka, rum, rasberry kool-aid mix (yes, you will drink so much and not realize it…a Spartan creation)
*long island iced tea: like 7 different types of liquor
*Sunset beach @ BWW: Gin, vodka, rum, and some other stuff…like that shit is POTENT
…I’m sure there’s more, but as I said earlier, I’m not much of a mixed drinker….
Also: if you find yourself really drunk and starting to feel a bit nauseated during the night, eat a twinkie, or 3. The fat from the cream will coat your stomach while the sponge cake will absorb the liquor. DON’T DRINK COFFEE – it will dehydrate you and make it worse in the morning. Instead drink water, gatorade or powerade…the oxygen from the water will wake you up, while the electrolytes in the sports drinks will help your cells absorb the water better.
Isnt drinking Everclear equivalent to drinking gas?
I wonder if I put in my car….
SEVEN AND SEVEN! Girl hats off to ya.
Anyone ever had a REAL jolly rancher? The kind with the pop rocks on the rim?? Yea buddy, goodness to the inner child.
You guys sound like “Garbage Pail Kids -Live”
Yuck, Yuck,Yuck!
LOL@ Vanita… I had Absenthe once and that shit was crazyyy.. i took a shot of hit and like 2 mins later i felt drunk ass hell! Everclear=rubbing alcohol lol
Chaotic…yea i love taking shots!
Amadeo-guiness is gross to me i had a few times and i just couldnt do it.. but i hear irish car bombs are yummy..i havent tried it yet…soon soon soon!
everclear is like the non-hilbilly version of moonshine.
Funny one is when ppl say that 99 apples is potent…I was like wow, 99 proof is still less potent than taking 151 shots.
@ vanita: i tried one once at this one place called lucky strikes…it was too sweet for me…
has anybody ever had a flirtini?
Flirtini: vodka, champagne, pineapple juice. Not too sweet, just right…
loves me some shots… nothing like warming up a cold new york winter’s night with some bacardi 151… – very good times from that. shots of tequila mexican style accompanied by smoking… not so much.
Skittlez OMGGG YES!!! SEVEN AND SEVEN sigh good times
My girl taught me something with taking tequila shots: instead of chasing it with lime, chase it with candy.
good shit.
@ Mrs. Epps…wow, I didn’t know Skittlez made it out of Michigan. How many people do you know that went to MSU?
*Now understands why Prohibition lasted for a dozen years*
shots of 151..ahhh yes… reminds me of Christmas morning and New Years…
speaking of 151 we soon need t make our Caribou Lou…yummy…take a pitcher, 1/2 151 rum, 1/2 malibu rum and rest pine juice YUMMMMYYYY…sip SLOW no gulpping or your fucked!
I would love a skittlez, but I dont do the gin…
@ Diva, yea I had it @ lucky strikes too. LOL
Isnt it funny all the drinkers are enjoying this conversation more than anyone else??
Yup absenthe will mess you up…I think it took 3 shots of it, and I felt surreal, like I was having an out of body experience. Im scared to try it again.
My new thing is a french martini, vanilla vodka with pineapple juice. Or Caramel Washington Apple – Crown, cranberry, apple pucker or 99 apples, and butterscotch schnapps. Yummy.
lol@ I was actually in Detroit when i had it ahhaha i never had in over here in MD, DC it is extra sweet made my teeth hurt but its yummy when your tired all that sugar wakes you up.
Dont know anyone from MSU i went up their with ym roomate to visit with her fam and we went to this bar and she got me one.
Damn @ a caribou Lou, but it sounds damn good…
strike that @..it shouldnt be there
I hate malibu…has an aftertaste. I like Cruzan caribbean rum with the flavors:
drinks with Cruzan:
*mango flavor with pepsi
*coconut flavor with cranberry
*vanilla with coke (delicious!)
I had an unusual Sidecar in Atlantic City:
Vodka, Brandy, Cointreau and lemon. Not sweet, strong but no burn. Too bad it’s a classic…I had a waitress give me a blank look this weekend when I asked for one…that shit’s been around since WWI, get it together people.
I also want to throat chop bartenders when I ask for a shot and they give me some booze in a plastic cup. Shot = Shot Glass. You look dumb pounding drinks in plastic cups.
@ Mrs. Epps…hahaha! Michigan and our lovely drinkers. We have 2 big 10 U’s and we drink like crazy at both!!!
Of course, MSU does it better.
But as for martinis, another good one is the honeytini at the W hotel in manhattan.
@ Vanita, the french martini sounds good as hell…
Ok, ladies, y’all want to go to Miami with me in feb? Dead serious…
I miss going to Freddie’s on fridays with my old co-work in jax.. we would get the hypnotic and goose mix thats gooooooodddd shit! and it will also make you forget what happened that night hahah I woke up at her house with a wad of cash. I wa sliek wtf who’s money is that.. then i thought long and hard and remembered telling the guys at the bar/ club that asked to buy me drinks to give me the money and i’ll buy em myself ahahha
who knows about that Wild Irish Rose?!!!!
I have an active hate of effed up drunk people. I have no tolerance for stupidity and because I do not get drunk–I barely drink–and I feel like I have no reason to pretend to tolerate self-induced idiocy.
When I go out with my girlfriends and they seem like they are getting close to the too-effed-up-to-take-care-of-myself stage, I yell them back to sobriety. IE: “PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, B*TCH!!!! THIS IS NOT CUTE!!!!!!!! IF YOU GET SICK IN THIS MOTHERF*CKER, I WILL BE DAMNED IF I HOLD YOUR HAIR TO KEEP YOU FROM F*CKING UP YOUR OVERPRICED RELAXER OR DRIVE YOUR DRUNK ASS HOME SO YOU CAN GET VOMIT IN MY SH*T OR EVEN TELL THE DRIVER WHERE YOUR DRUNK ASS LIVES WHEN THE BOUNCER THROWS YOU IN A CAB!!!!!”
This unpleasant diatribe usually knocks the edge off. And, I’m not just talking shit. I have taken care of a drunk friend ONCE and that was because she was also a diabetic. I wasn’t sure if she was passed out from alcohol or diabetic shock and didn’t want to fuck up my chance at heaven on principle. Plus, we were Black in a lily-white Country-Western bar in the Deep South, the rednecks were eying us all night, and I could see the situation turning into a major news story and subsequent “Support such-and-such” Facebook group.
the ONE time i threw up from overconsumption was my freshman year… i made the classic rookie mistake. i went to a rooms party at a white frat and mixed SEVERAL different kinds of liquor… and topped them off with jello shots
All I remember is waking up in the bathroom with my friend sitting on the tub cursing at me that he had to stay over and make sure i didn’t drown in my own vomit.
is it a bad thing that i drank for 12 hours straight on saturday…. and didn’t make it past buzzed?
oh 151 is so much fun… did quadruple shots of that mess in undergrad all the time… i guess its bad that i used to do flaming shots of everclear… judging from the conversation above…
wow, i sound like a raging alcoholic
ahhh jen.
Who needs a shot?
@ vanita hot damn that french martini sounds good
i had a good cocktail at this bar called happy ending in nyc (yes, the name is as dirty as it sounds) called four hands: mango rum, peach schnapps, orange and passionfruit juices. tasted like candy floss and got me the good fucked-up (which for me is when i start speaking french to everyone)
I think its funny when i talk to black people about drinking. Somebody always drinking some remy, hennessey, or some other bull STRAIGHT
“if it dont come mixed, why should I waste my good juice?” – I heard someone say that this weekend.
I do not like hennessey. remy with cranberry is OK. but i swear, we dont drink anything else.
And if another old man buys me another drink in a club and its hennessey, I will pour that shit on his head. Ill readily admit im too bougie to drink that shit. Because hes clearly sayin to me “Im gonna get u drunk and take you home and do dirty things to you”
GUYS LISTEN – Please mask your intentions. Buy the girly drinks so its not that obvious!
Chaotic!!! oo i wanna go to Miami its liek my 2nd home..i miss it.. me and the old roomies went everyother weekend and got twisted.. I miss the bob marley club in orlando (the Red Coconut) very good drinks and the club is nicccceeeee..its like a indoor outdoor type club with a skylight ceiling
DIVA – I was JUST saying that I need to go back to MIA to party one good time before I get too old. Im game. I was gonna visit some folks in Jax and hop down there. MIA is good damn times man…*gettin glossy eyed thinking about it* And what happens in Miami stays in Miami ya hear??
CHAOTIC:
Ahhhhh WET WILIES ON SOUTH BEACH… a call a cab…
i am with chaotic……. if i am going to be drinking i want to at least be TIPSY if not DRUNk… if i am not goign to get a buzzz i would rather drink juice or virgin pina coladas because they taste better… i drink liquor to get SMASHED… is that so wrong?
four hands sounds way too good yum!!!!
Ahhh Wet Willies and Call a Cabs…Drunk brain freezes are no joke either.
landon your not worng.. i drink liquor to get shit faced..nothing wrong with that..its a good feeling til you gotta throw up
Like whats the point in drinking a wine cooler again i forgot. thats a waste of money to me..i can get me a 40 oz for less and have a better buzz lol.
shit now i wanna go tot he bar and get me a sour amaretto..sigh and its barely noon.
Blackberry:
see that i what you could do in UNDERGRAD… My live would smack the shit out of me if i did some stupid shit like drink 1541 or everclear… AS GROWN AS PEOPLE we shoudl not drink anything that has a warnign label that states – MIGHT CAUSE INTERNAL FLAMES!
Puff, I might just come to NYC this weekend to party with you…Im writing down that drink as we speak
**sneaks in bosses office and takes three shots of JD** ahh i feel better!
i feel to sober right now and my mouth is watering for a drink now..i officially have a problem. Hi my name is Mrs. Epps and Im an alcoholic
1. Yall know black ppl love their cognac!
2. If u ask me, if getting twisted is ur plan for the night, u can never go wrong with an LI Iced Tea!
3. I thought it was gonna be Ms. Epps who got bent that night. I had my doubts, but I guess she might be a trooper after all.
4. SMH@ the Doctor getting bent in the club, then trying to tell her patient the next day about the ills of alcohol, lol.
5. LOL@ Esquire putting Amadeo on blast for drinking Martinis.
BTW…Landon, how but Jesus do you drink 23 shots of anything and not die??
I’m a grown ass man and on the rare occasion when I vomit, usually caused by an over indulgence in the beer, liquor, wine and spirits, it produces in me the urge to cry. Is it because its so damn painful? Is it because I can remember crying while throwing up as a child? Or is it because the last time this happend was on my birthday last year where I consumed over 20 drinks in less than 3 hours…I wasn’t right for 3 days…
B4Prez you under estimated me! and i drank 2 bottles alone and didnt yack! IM a SUPERDUPER TROOPER!
aaah vanita it’s sooooo gd but wait a lil bit i’m not in nyc just yet (i’ll be back in august) but that bar is the spot. they have another cocktail called the foxy brown which is ginger ale, whiskey and summin fruity… so so so delicious
@Landon-
U know i will never publicly admit to still drinking 151 at my age… wait, I just did.
But here’s the rub– i only do that mess in the safety of my (or my best friend’s) own home. We are notorious grown ass closet lushes…
I ate some many cheese puffs one time I threw up. I love cheese puffs.
Me and my Ace have a rule about getting drunk and vomiting…you’re the man if you can do it discretly. I once threw up 5 feet from a group of friends without them knowing…then the girl I was with went and told everyone. It’s real grown up when you can puke like you sneeze…stop, do it, wipe your mouth and keep it moving.
Ok Puff, where are you now? Diva and Mrs Epps got my party and alcoholic juices flowing…and its only monday dammit! I try to at least wait until wed after a drunk weekend to have another drink…
haysues! 20 drinks in less then 3 hrs fucking aye! and your still alive?!! reminds me of my 19th bday party when my hommie got me the hugest bottle of Cuervo and i drank like almost 1/2 the bottle in shots…i was foreal just gone…i was talking to the guy that eventually became a nice summer fling and could see his face he was just a big blur and then i passed out and woke up with marker all over my body with messages from ppl at my party..i was like a big ass bday card like i got pics of it lol good times
Sexual Chocolate hasn’t been hung over since he dropped the scotch and sipped on the sapphire and tonics and vodka and tonics…
Sexual Chocolate! SEXUAL CHCOLATE!!!
Pass the gin nukka!
Amadeo…
you cant just keep it moving. Do you keep a toothbrush moving or at least a mint after these discrete upchucks?
(please say yes, please say yes, please say yes)
@ Amadeo: I am SO concerned about you perfecting the art of the stealth puke.
lol Vanita…i usually try to wait til the middle of the week between hard drinking on the weekend but sometimes you just get that urge to have a beer lol sign…Amadeo dude *high five* i wish i could make my puking episodes so discret Im a young grasshopper and have much to learn i see.
It’s real in the field…when you get somewhere with supplies you take care of it…but having puke breath is better then being puke stained. Besides for safety sake you must move away from the scene of the crime…can’t have stealth puke ruined by a secondary puke from the smell.
@ esquire your cheesy puffs incident made me think of south park, and this one time my little sister was eating suya (west african pepper barbeque meat aka HEAVEN on a stick) and threw up and kept eating. that child is nasty as hell.
@ vanita i’m home in africa interning for the summer, i get back to nyc mid-august
umm.
the clip in this article made me want to throw up:
Civil rights activist Najee Ali, executive director of Project Islamic HOPE, and a coalition of civil rights organizations and media watchdog groups are calling for Verizon CEO/President, Lowell C. McAdam, to drop Verizon’s contract and distribution deal with Loren Feldman, president of 1938 media charging the “TechNigga” clip on 1938’s website is racist and demeaning to Africans Americans and women.
sorry. had to share. im really mad that ppl still view us this way.
now i really phucking want a drink.
http://1938media.blip.tv/file/326972
lol@ randy…is sexual chocolate your inner gay man…. please dont take that personal…others on here will get it..its like the inner fat girl joke
@Amadeo “can’t have stealth puke ruined by a secondary puke from the smell.”
As someone who’s experienced how raw things can get in this situation, I always appreciate the stealth puke. Look, grown folks–if you get the urge whilst in the club, FEEL FREE to get up off your ass or the dance floor and take a calm stroll to the nearest toilet. No need to ruin someone’s Choos just ’cause you’ve reached critical mass.
Ok Puff. Im gonna come visit you in africa. Where are you? West? South? East? Central? North? i gots people all over Africa…I really wanna go sooo bad!
There is NO WAY that dry heaving is worse than menstrual cramps! I simultaneously am enraged (I swear… I spend a week wanting to slap a broad) and then nauseous. I can deal with the rage and even the nausea, but the cramps have gotta go.
Ok, if you want to (seriously) go to miami next feb, let me know…I’ve started a facebook group trying to get ppl together since nobody answers phones anymore…lmao
My personal worst for vomiting – I was sick, so I made a huge mug of ginger tea to feel better. I threw up right after – nose and mouth vomit of SCALDING HOT TEA. So not only am I puking, I’m destroying all the soft tissue lining my organs. *shudders*
And I agree, nose puking is the worst! Almost feels like drowning…definately not cool.
I want to go to Africa badly. Cap Verde and South Africa. I wouldnt mid Egypt (according to white school teachers down here, it is NOT in AFRICA)
TechNigga is terrible. SMH.
Merri Lee – ouch.
* I feel like I’m being followed by a strange, persistent smell that I can’t quite place
* I’m informed that the bouncers may be under the impression that I slipped the vomiting girl a mickey…which is interesting because she wasn’t drinking anything at the time
* I wind up taking a cab into Arlington, where some white guy has my phone that apparently I dropped in the club. Once in the cab, the smell is getting stronger
* The smell is getting stronger still
* The cabbie clearly notices the smell
* I retrieve my phone from a white dude named Greg. The cab has left me there
* I run 3 drunken miles from Glebe Road and Lee Highway to the Key Bridge before I find a cab
* The smell returns, and is now amplified by sweaty man funk
* Once home, I get a text message from a ‘witness’ indicating that I was vomited on
* I go to my closet
* The lower left leg of my jeans has puke on it
* The right sleeve of my jacket has puke on it
* Recognizing the smell, finally, I run into the bathroom and throw up my damn self
* Fuck
Do tell…
Omg. Vomiting shit? I literally just threw up in my mouth a little. That was terrible, not even good and terrible, just fucking terrible! Vile even…
me at my 19th b-day party passed the fuck out…
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1096482&l=2adc7&id=578259611
good times
@ Mrs. Epps – LMAO 8034508U43T5JEOIFJG893470R9FF’DLFK’D;LGK;DFKEJGOIEARYG98AWYE8A7W89UOGJ;LKJGLDSKFJVLDSJFV
Hee-lar-ee-us
i love Cuervo..but it took us forever to drink that bottle after the party…and there was three of us! that bottle sat in the freeze for a good 2 weeks…it was hilarious when my mom came to visit me for the 1st time after i moved down there and she seriosuly wanted to buy us the whole food store.. we had no food what so ever in the kitchen except to 30 bottle cases of bud select and a gallon of Captin Morgan.
Merri Lee it took me an hr to see that shit writtin on me.. i went the corner store and bought some stuff and was wondering why ppl were staring at me smiling esp the dudes.. i go to the bathroom when i get back and see “I LOVE PENIS” in caps on my arm…FUCK
http://photos-d.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v15/67/77/2206468/n2206468_31070123_2999.jpg
*thats my drinking partner. I swear the two of us can do some damage to a liquor arsenal, and we both are silly as shit.
**vodka shots.
When I have those pissed drunk nights, it is usually the next morning where the festivities begin. And I am good for making myself throw up. I figure it is better to force it out rather than get caught by surprised and creating a mess.
Also, aceklub + 99 Bananas = automatic date w/ the toilet bowl for the night.
@ Esquire
Definitely feeling the Cape Verde shoutout!!!
My 21st birthday was a blur, with me waking up alone in a strange place wearing clothes that were not mine and disctinctly male. Having both the urge to pee AND vomit, I sat on the toilet with a bucket attached to my head like a feeding trough for an hour as I was afraid to throw up on the floor in whose ever house this was.
But my legs started to fall asleep, so I attempted to stand, was hit with a wave a nausea and, unable to hold myself up because of sleep legs and drunkeness, I fell against the wall which caused me to spew vomit not only on the strange floor, but on the wall and the borrowed clothes as well. . .
When the home owner returned (from CHURCH of all godforesaken places) he found me trying to clean up between dry heaves, crying because I didn’t know where I was. . . I vowed to never drink again.
And, of course, I broke that vow. . .
But for the record, I don’t drink anymore. . .
What’s funny and bad is being the least drunk around some amorous ass friends who are trying to talk to every woman they see when you’re trying to get them home…even worse is when the girls are trying to go:
“I know they want you dude, but you can’t hang out of the window”
“You don’t want to do that with her in the alley”
” Yes, I saw her underwear too”
^^^^^BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That reminds me of people during college who came straight from the club to mass, smelling like badussy, tequila and cigarettes. Of course, they all looked at the priest like, I dare YOU to say something. Good times.
lmao @ amadeo
not i love Penis —
@EPPS
BWBWBWBWBWBWBWBWBWBWBWBAAAAAAAAAAA Smacks someone in the office because its so funny
@ merri lee…those people at the church tend to be the biggest drinkers, smokers and freaks…
…no, seriously. I get scared when I hear a guy say that they go to early morning Sunday services.
(*note* church isn’t a bad thing, but i’m referring to the people you meet in a club/bar/party)
*i’m going swimming…I’ll be back*
yes landon i was sooooo embarrased! and in the pic that only shows the few “tattoos” that were written on me.. i had a slew on my back with all types of nastiness! but it was a great party
@CD – the funny thing is, it wasn’t early mass. My school had it at 12:30 in the afternoon! That’s plenty of time to take off the ho clothes, take a shower, and at least pretend you weren’t sinning last night.
lol @ ml…
I tell you, I was always taught that the library is the best place to pick up males, not the church. At least find a dude that can READ more than memorized bible verses and proofs on a liquor bottle…lmao
Hahahahaha no! Sexual Chocolate is my inner lounge singer, my inner porn star, my inner late 80s early 90s eddie murphy before he started doing horrible films.
Jen – thanks for the visual of Jesus taking shots. WWJD, the D stands for drink.
the worst drunken night i ever had was when me and my guy roomate went to Ale house w/o our girl roomate and got totally wasted and somehow managed to start making out in the back of my friend’s SUV on the way to our house and then when we got the front of the building i fell out the car and landed in the bushes and the he proceeded to carry me up the stairs continuing to make out and ended up having sex that night which i dont remember that much either and then the next day was filled with a hangover vomit and getting yelled at by my girl roomate who claims was in love with homeboy… opps then i threw up in her room which mad her feel bad for me and stopped being mad…
lmaoooOOO@ Randy
That 23 shots i was talking about for my 23rd b day… my dad woke me up at 8:15 (on my birhtday) to go to church… I was a sleep for a total of 2 hours…
of course the sermon that day was – “SOMEONE LAST NIGHT WENT OUT TO THE CLUB AND GOT DRUNK, and Did things they were not suppose to do” My sister looks at me like umm hmmm see the REv is talking about you….
ok, as i tried to say before my puter went nuts…i’m usually a stalker, but i have to ask–am i the ONLY one up in this joint who makes themselves throw-up to feel better?!?!
“the spins” and “the quesies” are so much worse….seriously
so….cowboy up people!! hold your breath, close your eyes, stick your fingers down your throat and call earl! then you can do one of several or all manner of things…gargle, go to sleep, eat, finish partying
just make sure you drink some water and take some advil first
B4Prez (16:03:36) : “4. SMH@ the Doctor getting bent in the club, then trying to tell her patient the next day about the ills of alcohol, lol.”
Do as I say, not as I do bitches! LOL
I consider it a little clinical research, so I can relate to the patients. *ahem*
I have.. if i am pissed drunk and i want to get a good night sleep… i’ll do it… because there is nothing worst when you are really drunk and you lay down and you can just feel the DRANk in your stomach and you know your body can’t absorb it… There is no dishonor making your self throw up but you get extra points if you make your self throw up and continue drinking…
i’ve made myself throw up before and its not fun but sometimes it must be done.. i hate when the room spins in opposite directions and closing your eyes makes it worse…but yea i threw up once at the club and felt better and 30 mins later and had a few more drinks lol
One Thanksgiving (I know, not the typical ‘get twisted’ holiday, but I’ll get drunk for Groundhog’s Day) my friend had this big get together for a bunch of our school friends. Now, eventhough I can hang with the best of em, I hadn’t eaten anything since that morning, and I didn’t get much sleep thanks to me going out the night before. Thus…..I passed out on the Lay-Z-Boy chair after drinking a lil fo everything in sight (allegedly). Not to mention, this friend knows I can be good ‘entertainment’ after enough drinks, so she kept them coming…back to back. There are pics of ppl beating me with pillows all over myspace (allegedly).
While I’m passed out, every1 decides they want to go out. They lug me to sum1’s car, toss me in the back (allegedly) and drive into Manhattan. Come to find out, these mofos are in the 40/40 club, and I wake up @ 2 am in the back seat of a strangers car, in Midtown, with no coat and no phone.
So naturally, after waking and not knowing who, what, when, where, why, or how my life and this car met, I walk into the closest bar, order a beer, and ask some YT girl if I can use her phone…..AND I STILL NEVER VOMITED!
hahahah B4Prez.. sounds like Weekend at Berine’s except you werent a dead guy.
WAIT the YT let you use her phone…
on saturday only 3 open cabs passed me before one picked me up in NYC
race relations are getting better.
One Thanksgiving (I know, not the typical ‘get twisted’ holiday, but I’ll get drunk for Groundhog’s Day)
B4Prez, Can i party with you??
And I NEVER EVER throw up. Spins, twists, I dont care. I HATE throwing up. That shit hurt, and it doesnt make me feel better. Give me some water, sleep, and a greasy cheesesteak when i wake up and I GOOD 2 Go.
mmmmm cheesesteak…
@ vanita
yea, I second your thought of having a nice, tasty cheesesteak at the moment. Particularly from Max’s on the corner of Erie and Germantown ave. in North Philly.
Is that the one pound joint?? There is a place up North Philly that sells one pound joints…OMG they are SOOO clutch cuz they stay open late, you can eat half after the club, and save the other half for later. Ti-Ti has never finished a whole one inone sitting so its LOTS of food…
@ Vanita – that reminds me of a night with my cousin when he got drunk off his @$$ at a club right by a 24hr McDonald’s. He wanted me to take him there so he could eat something and not throw up. That’s drunk logic – McDonald’s food to NOT throw up?
OMG, im in DC where they have ’steak and cheese’ egg rolls @ the chinese food places…wtf??
@ Doc – Good comeback, lol.
@Landon – Nuthin wrong with a lil’ alcoholic bulemia…gotta make it happen for urself every once in a while, lol.
@ MrsEpps – SMH@ u needing AA@19.
@ Merri Lee – Yup, because mcdoo-doo’s isnt food. But I still partake from time to time…
One simple solution to avoid the esophageal heave-ho.
Pick a drink, and stick with it.
Switching between beer, wine and spirits *will* cause you harm.
And don’t drink alco-pops – that stuff is poison.
@ vanita
Yea, while I never weighed the cheesesteak, they are defintiely worth the price.
Cheesesteak egg rolls…definitely had a few of those in Philly as well, particularly the one chinese food joint near Temple’s campus. I haven’t had it in DC and definitely don’t plan to either as DC does not scream ‘cheesesteak” in my mind.
i’ll tell you what makes me want to vomit….from laughter…(if that’s at all possible)
“The Niggtionary”
Today’s word is: NiggDonalds. this site
http://thedeathofthenword.wordpress.com/
is absurd and hilarious.
@aceklub, they arent cheesesteaks. they are ’steak and cheese’ which arent the same. All the chinese food places around temple are shitty and serve rats. with that being said, I still partake from time to time
@Landon – Yea…but she gave me the ill side-eye.
@MrsEpps – I didn’t think about the Bernie’s thing, but that’s true. I’m 6′ 180, so I still don’t know how they got me into a car w/o me knowing, lol.
@Vanita – Come thru to NYC so we can party. National Korean War Veterans Armistice Day is on July 27th (yea, I don’t know either, but true story, lol)
@ vanita
Thanks for ruining my experience of dining around Temple…lol. And what difference is there btw the two words as I know they are definitely labeled in the chinese menu’s as “cheesesteak rolls”. Maybe it is a potaTO vs. poTAto argument.
@Vanita – Come thru to NYC so we can party. National Korean War Veterans Armistice Day is on July 27th (yea, I don’t know either, but true story, lol)
You are not lying about partying at any holiday. But that reminds me or Bourbon Street in NOLA. They did not give an eff. Norwegian Independence Day? Get ya drank on! D-Day? Get ya drank on! Torah B’av? Get ya drank on! Ridiculous.
change of subject…
since we are all reppin different areas, I am curious to know what is your city known for, food-wise. For example,
Philly = cheesesteaks
NYC = Pizza
My inner and outer fat boy are both hungry.
OH MY GODDDDDDDD.
These waking up in a strange place stories have caused me to vow never to even touch a beverage at a club or party again.
I guess DC is known for Mambo sauce…I cant think of anything.
Philly – Cheesesteaks, Pretzels…
Oh yea. and I would LOVE to drank on July 27th, that would be cool.
needing AA@ 19 possible…shoot i need AA@ 20 right now! I wonder what it will be like after november when my bday passes…then i can go to ladies night n shit hmmm…i dotn wanna think about it right now!
getting shit faced on holidays is great esp if your family gets drunk with you…last xmas my uncle was trashhhhheedd and it was hilariousssssSSS dude talks alot of shit while sober and it gets worse when he’s drunk and its the funniest shit ever… but what makes it fun is when finally turn 18+ and they allow you to drink, you abuse the privlage and get wasted with your older cousins in the backroom and break your grandmothers shelf because you fell into it trying to run to the bathroom and vomit but trip on your own shoe and land face 1st in to the middle shelf… that was my little cousin(19) and then you have grandma laughing ,yelling for everyone to hear “THE BOY IS DRUNK AS CAROLINA SKUNK” and “DAMN THE BOY DRANK WISKEY AND VODAK TOGETHER”.
i love my family…
hahah DC aint known for shit but Mambo Sauce
DAMN Mrs. Epps, I need to come party with your family too.
LOL@ Korean……..Day. I’d never heard of it until today, but like I said, a party is a party, lol. I need to hit Bourbon St. apparently. I still haven’t been to NOLA.
Bmore – Crabs and half and half (Lemonade and Iced tea)
I’d also venture that the east is known for chicken boxes. I was out San Diego and I could get all the burritos and thai food I wanted…I don’t think I saw a place advertising chicken wings and an Arnold Palmer is not the same as a half and half.
LMAO@ drunk as a skunk. All of the old heads in my family say that!
BTW, doesn’t every1 have that 1 uncle who’s been a drunk for so long that he’s pretty much the same person whether he’s sober or drunk?
Wait, well whats a tom collins?
DC – blue crabs, and crabcakes.
I wonder what Crabcakes and mambo sauce tastes like…?
@Amadeo – A friend of mine from Baltimore is always talking about a damn chicken box! That sht sounds country as hell….I can fuk wit it tho, lol
Oh yea iforgot about the DC-crabs what what yummmmyyyy…we wne tot the warf and got us a bushel for the 4th… them bitches were hittttttiiiiinnnnn i know usually seafood and liquor dont mix but damn…i was eating them like they were going out of style!
Oh, DC claims blue crabs and crabcakes because of the Chesapeake? Didn’t realize that was ok.
“I wonder what Crabcakes and mambo sauce tastes like…?”
Delicious.
@B4Prez
LMAO…I have that uncle. I used to have two (one maternal, one paternal), but one of them is sober now.
Yea knat, i was gonna say, isnt that MD?
But Ok.
mmm…mambo sauce makes everything taste better…
The last time I was in DC, we drove over to Bmore for sum crab legs. All I know is, I never thought I would have the best crab legs of my life @Hooters!
I forgot about D.C. I guess Crabs/Crab Cakes has to default to Maryland in general.
@ B4Prez…I’m sure chicken boxes are the #1 contributers to the deaths of poor people who aren’t shot.
Vantia…my family is crazy…everyone is military but my Aunt and Mom all my uncles are military some retired some still in service…but you think thats fun MANN i wish i was one of my grandma and granddady’s kids! they would throw my Mom and Aunt and Uncles these crazy ass parties where my Granddad was the bar tender and he was always known to have a heavy hand with the liquor! it just AINT fair!
“Oh, DC claims blue crabs and crabcakes because of the Chesapeake? Didn’t realize that was ok.”
I justify it thusly:
DC and most of the land in MD west of the Chesapeake and east of the panhandle were part of the same swath of Indian country ruled by my grandfather 16 generations ago.
Claiming blue crabs for DC, therefore, is an act of defiance against the lines drawn by white men through my country.
Or something like that.
Detroit – Greek Coney Islands (gyros and coney dogs), Homemade polish sausage, Packzki (polish doughnut with custard or fruit filling eaten on fat tuesday/packzki day).
Chris – I actually did learn something like that in elem. school. I also know that PG county gave up part of its land to make DC. So if DC wants to claim blue crabs, fine. Its not like they have anything else I guess :-/
@ vanita
i’m from west africa aka the best part of africa renowned for spicy food and palm wine (everclear 2.0) – people from where i’m from love love love to get drunk and disorderly – and sorry it’s late, i went home and went to the gym
The sad truth is our culinary claim is probably mambo sauce
St. Louis is known for the St. Paul Sandwich:
A St. Paul Sandwich is an Egg-Foo Young Patty sandwiched with mayo and lettuce on white bread from the ‘China-man’.
And they actually say china-man.
Puff, you still aint sayin nothing!! Nigera? Ghana? Ivory Coast (i cant spell it in french)…Lets see…you speak French right? I love me some pepper soup, peanut soup, and the fu-fu(i think thats how u spell it)
@JO – Ur drunk uncle went sober? This Obama ‘change’ campaign is really working wonders! lol
@Vanita and Puff
LIBERIA represent! Woot.
Yeah, that had nothing to do with the original post. I think it’s funny that the tag is Vomit and the category is Potpourri. Vomit is similar to potpourri…
haha my bad i’m from nigeria – oui, je parle le francais, but it’s school level. aaaah pepper soup so good but you also need some jollof rice, palm oil beans, fried plantains (dodo), yam (not the american sweet potato stuff, the real african cocoyams), egusi/okro/banga soups… i’m drooling, lemme stop
Chris,
Do you scream “Go back to Europe bitches!” when 2520s cut you off in traffic??
Just wondering.
anjiebaby (19:22:14) :
Chris,
Do you scream “Go back to Europe bitches!” when 2520s cut you off in traffic??
Just wondering.
*deceased*
@B4Prez: Obama wishes he could take the credit for this one. Not to go all Sunday morning on you or anything, but my uncle’s sobriety is credited mostly to Black Buddy Christ.
It’s alright though, ’cause the other uncle MORE than makes up for him.
LMAO @ Black Buddy Christ
“Doesn’t it…Pop?”
SC: Chitlins!
Any takers?…no…oh…okay then.
EEEWWWW…Chitlin is enough to make me vomit…GROSS
My mom tried to tell me about the make yourself throw up when you’re drunk trick (I haven’t stopped side-eyeing her since). Same thing with a roomate in college. I tried, but I just can’t do it. I don’t have a good gag reflex (SHUT UP).
Anyhoo, representing Philly – cheesesteaks, pretzels, tastykake, water ice. I thought scrapple was ours because of the Amish, but I’m learning that’s a southern thing too.
LIBERIA represent! Woot.-Gabriel
blah..my ex is from there…his Dad is deputy minister of foreign affairs there…
I don’t have a good gag reflex – Doc
*shaking my head*
Amadeo – what is the difference between a half and half and an Arnold Palmer. I tried the latter for the first time in North Carolina earlier this year. It was also my first time trying Sweet Tea…and am I the only one that doesn’t get the freaking hype?! (Waiting for someone to swoop down from above and forcibly remove my black card).
Knat…did I not say SHUT UP. LOL
The Doc doesnt have a good gag reflex bwhahahah…no comment
DOC –
no GAG REFLEX AYE – I LOVE YOU
LMAO @ the doc “no gag reflex” LMAO!!!!!!!
Doc-
Damnit just when i found out you have no gag reflex and was ready to buy you a 3.5 carat VVS1 d color Diamond in a white gold invisble setting (Brilliant Cut)
you had to FUCK it up and say you dont like SWEET TEA!!! DAMNIT and you got nice abs and body… DAMNIT TO HELL…
well at least i still have Ne and Diva…
so…Doc…How did you find that out???
bwwhhhahahahahahahahahahah @ Landon!!!! Dammit vvs 1 3.5 carat tho??? Girl u better slurp down some sweet tea. It aint like you gonna throw it back up LOLOLOL
VANITA:
ON FLOOR DEAD TIME OF DEATH 3:45:13
___________________
LMAO @ Landon. Relationships are all about compromises baby.
Seriously though, I never said I didn’t like it, I just really don’t get all the hype behind it. I don’t dump a bunch of sugar in my hot tea either though, just a little dab of honey.
Vanita…I plead the fifth
@Vanita: LMAOOOOOO
Dead. Absolutely dead.
Doc, don’t be ashamed of your lack of a gag reflex. I put that on my resume under Hobbies & Special Skills.
what is sweet tea? like sweet iced tea?
smh @ landon and his cheating ways!!!!!!
Oh Snap…UTZ Potato Chips…Mid-Atlantic Represent!
@ Jen & Doc
Doc – - Landon Revived at 3:47:44
JEN — Landon Dead again at 3:49:30
Someone SHOOT PUFF PLEASE!!!!
whats next you dont know what a BOSTON IS IN SPADES?
Vanita lets do lunch hahahah
puff you dont know what sweet tea is???!!!!!!!
UTTERLY SHOCKED…pulling your black card asap!
I hate vomiting!
I have had to vomit maybe 3 time in my life that I can remember. It hurts and I feel like shit afterwards.
WHO HAS HAD SWEET TEA MADE WITH MOLASSES??
Sweet tea is when you boil water with sugar or molasses and then steep tea in it.
@ Mrs. Epps
Don’t say ‘Blah’…say ‘Amazing!’ Sorry to hear that you didn’t wind up with a good Liberian man. But don’t give up hope. Maybe you’ll find one someday. lol.
PUFF:
Your Black Credit Score just went down 75 points!
and we have closed your popeyes Credit Card!
Doc-
The one I had in San Diego was just off…too much of something, not enough of the other…it wasn’t really partially sweet…in the end it tasted like poorly flavored water, with a dash of lemon.
(Continues ignoring gag reflex comment)
LIBERIA!!!!
Lets talk about LIBERIA when they can get their government in ORDER!!!
yeah yeah yeah fuck all of y’all – mrs epps i’m african how you gon pull MY black card?
but really though landon, what’s a boston in spades? *ducks*
Sweet tea? Hype. It’s just tea made with a simple syrup! Black folks love sugar!
Popeyes Credit Card??
I thought that was an urban myth begun by Beyonce.
Mrs Epps – Girl I BEEN told you that. Lets make it happy hr!! Im tryna see how my DOJ counterparts get down!
Landon leave Puff alone!!! I didnt know about sweet tea until college. My parents arent AMERICAN!!
(SHUTTING UP ABOUT DOC’S GAG REFLEX COMMENT) :l
:HI FIVES HER:
PUFF:
SIGH….. yes we pulled your black card!!!!
WHAT AFIRCANS DONT EAT CHICKEN?
And hell west Africa (ivory coist liberia and mali) has some teas so strong you think you were drinking crack!!
landon, you can only be bigamous with me and Ne….sorry Doc
@ Doc…I can’t make myself puke either.
Thank you diva!
With all of the loving he gets at home you’d think a brotha would be happy…smh!
I see Ne and Diva tryna get they VVS on too…
@ jen
nah that shits for real. me and the popeyes down 125th street are tight… mmmm biscuits and chicken *shamefully trying to claw back black points*
VVS?
Visual Vampire sex..eh?
Um, beware of Landon’s real-life Dominican girlfriend (who may cut you), and/or Dustin, who called dibs a long time ago.
Ne:
do you have simliar skills as DOC? Because Chaoitc does…
Maybe we need to make this liek survior…. who can do the most with out gagging, lol…
@ Knatural…you should be aware that Dominicans are not as crazy as Cubans.
Bet she can do hair though…lol.
*shamelessly
landon goddaaaaamn i eat chicken, smothered in chilli and deep-fried and all that good shit.
i don’t drink tea though – my mother made me down a huge pot when i had a sore throat one time, next morning i woke up with malaria. i just can’t shake the association.
what is damn boston in spades?
lol knat.
This realtionship is e-fantasy… where the dominican gf can not reach her knife.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA @ dustin’s dib’s.
Ne:
What what???? Virtual Vampire Sex – WHAT TYPE OF FREAK ARE YOU..
KNATURAL – HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE
You know you could start saving money by copping some Crystal or Louisiana hot sauce and some Tony Chachere and marinating chicken yourself.
Yesterday I boarded the train (DC Metro) to see a whole Popeye’s chicken breast and biscuit, uneaten, no box, sitting out in the open on a seat. Am I wrong for wanting that breast and biscuit?
Landon
I don’t throw up! I will just put it that way.
Last time I threw up was in 2001 I downed 2 beautiful’s, a long island ice tea, some alizé and a smirnoff ice.
@ puff…boston is a boring ass town full of white people who can’t play spades…so when you put up the flight board, its like the partners who win all 13 books are the flight crew and you are being taken on a shitty ride/vacation.
see: trash talking.
your inner fat girl must have just ate @ knat
@ puff not drinking tea and waking up with malaria… i know i shouldnt laugh butt bwawahawbwahabwahabwahwa
VVS is the clarity of a diamond
FL – flawless
VVS-1 flaws can not be seen by the naked eye and are hard to see when magnified
VVS-2 slightly below VVS-1 grade
VS-1 – slight imperfection but can not be seenwith naked eye
VS-2 same but a little more imperfect
S-1 imperfectin can be seen with a the naked eye or a take a black light to the diamond if it glows to much, it has many imperfections!
s-2
and worst
@ ne, the only time I puke is when I drink smirinoff ice or some other equally sugary wine cooler beverage. I could take shots for days and not have an issues.
No you are not wrong. Not at all! The only thing that would have stopped me is the fact that the DC Metro has some shady individuals on it.
*issue. Sorry on the plurality of my noun.
@ knat i wanna see the face of the motherfucker who left that popeyes behind…. damn. i’d be so very furious
side note does anyone have dont be a menace while drinking juice in teh hood on DVD?
NE CHaotic and DOC dont have GAG reflex….. ((((sighs)))))
A leper must have coughed on the abandoned Popeyes. Otherwise, the entire story is a lie.
I wouldnt have eaten it but it woudl have my mouth watering… esp. since i would have small bottle of hot sauce in my suit jacket…
fuck VVS, I go for flawless. I want a big pink diamond, square cut, with two clear baguettes on each side in a platinum band. I’m allergic to gold (no seriously, my skin turns green and black from it).
By the way, what is it with all of the local modeling agencies are named after diamond clarities?
I know what VVS means I worked in a jewelry store for year while in college.
dag I was trying to be funny.
@ chaotic could you say that again… slowly?
and fuck youuuu landon that shit was not amusing, that was about the worst malaria i’ve had in my life… damn, i was hallucinating and shit, thinking i was walking on the ceiling and whatnot… not a good look.
Here’s the conversation as we stepped on the train:
Me: Damn, somebody left their Popeye’s
My husband: How do you know it’s Popeyes’s, there’s no box.
Me: Look at the biscuit!
Husband: *gives look of immeasurable love and devotion to me*
hahah Gabriel… umm no thanks i already got me a man…and for the record liberians are kinda cooky and assholish…i’ll pass
Puff you maybe african..but you still get your card pulled! sorry to hear about the malaria
…Knat your not wrong… but it would have been hilarious and coonish of you if you grabbed that joint on the way off the train!!
Virtual Vampire sex.. hmm gotta try that some day soon
lol @ Landon for carrying hot sauce with him…why the hell do most of the people i know that carry hot sauce with them are either white or Mexican? (see: Hillary Clinton, this guy Carlos I went to h.s. with…)
Oh wow, Puff. You had malaria multiple times??? Is that common?
Knat – It could be a serial killer trying to kill unsuspecting black people by leaving poison Popeyes around knowing a black person might eat it. Hmm… Popeyes, Krispy Kreme donuts, anything form the McDonalds breakfast menu, etc… is potentially a weapon.
I am concerned puff!
@ Knat – LOL I love that you can really tell the chix by the biscuit. I really honestly do.
Puff is not american yall. shes african. its a different ‘black’. Dont worry girl. I was born here, but sometimes I might as well have been FOB too. I gotcha back.
@ landon bwahahahahahahahahahaha can you make your own brand of hot sauce:
“landon’s… the working man’s sauce. sprinkle this on anything, and your gag reflex’ll never be a problem.”
@ puff
Want: 1 pink diamond (in center,square cut), 2 clear diamonds (baguette cut, on sides), all flawless, on platinum band.
Allergic: to gold. Makes my skin change colores
Aside: local [club] modeling agencies have names like flawless, vvs, etc., after diamonds.
…better?
LMAOOO@@@@ puff
@ knat bwaahahahahahahahahahahahaha i’m mad you recognise the biscuits by sight
@ jen yeah malaria’s pretty common, i haven’t had it for a while but as it’s rainy season right now, there’s hella mosquitos around so i’m spritzing bug spray all over my house praying for no more hallucinations
and thank you vanita! damn i’ve only been stateside for 2 years, let me catch up – or better yet, school me so i can sound less fresh off the boat
Saying Africans are blacks is like saying Dominicans and West Indians are black…different values and cultures, same brown skin….
OMAR you forgot…… to add Tainted WEED…
WOW imagin that…
If they Poisned: Popeyes Fried Chicken, Red lobster (& Churchs) bisuits, Dominoes (w. anthrax), lead in sweet tea, Tainted Corn Bread Mix, posioned koolaid packs, tainted Weed & hennessey….
WE WOULD BE FUCKED!!!
Oh my God! Omar! But see, the flaw is Blacks are too hygienic (typically) and won’t eat randoms foods just lying around like White folks.
Granted, I’m biased, but IMO, there’s NO seafood better than that which issues from the Gulf. And the way it’s prepared in Louisiana is nothing short of magical.
@ puff…I gotcha…people keep asking me what country I’m from (born and raised in Michigan)…so I end up hanging out with all the non-Americans. Doesn’t help that some of my relatives and one of my best friends were born outside of the states…lol.
The workin mans hot sauce sounds like it should be in the same aisle as the KY or at one of those sex toy parties where they let you try the products. LOL
Landon, please stop giving the Man ideas.
BREEZ…YOU TRUTH-TELLER!!
Saying Africans are blacks is like saying Dominicans and West Indians are black…different values and cultures, same brown skin….
Huh?
@ chaotic – i meant about the boston in spades – goddamn i’m not kunta kinte i do speak some english – and i’m west african truuuussst i know about diamonds – remember djimon? (i kid, that was fucked up)
mmmmh, biscuits…
Man, I eat Red Lobster biscuits like the hoe from the Boondocks. And Popeyes…man I don’t really eat their chicken, but i LOVE their red beans and rice and buttered biscuits.
Aside: my mom literally just hollered “who has popeyes in the fridge”…lol
@Knat – she means Black Americans…as in the descendants of U.S. slaves.
I would have to cosign on that assessment.
Yea Im black (west indian) but Im not african american…My boyfriend says im not ‘truly’ black. But White people dont kno that…
And dont worry Puff, I gotcha, ill be in NYC in August!
$.02: i use the term black pretty broadly – the average african is more “black” (i mean skin colour) than an african american. round here, it’s pretty much only a skin colour term. to distinguish between different people of colour, i go by where they’re from, so i generally call black people from american african-americans.
sorry but ya’ll will hate me for this but i hate popeyes…i havent eaten it since i was 17 when i was rushed to the hospital for food posioning..it was like 20 mins after eatting and threw up in the hallway on the way to the bathroom and then blacked out.. the PM’s had to brign me back with that shit that they put under your nose(cant think of the word). I lost control of my bows on both ends and was in the hospital for 4 1/2 days…
I washed my hands of popeyes but i’ll tear up some KFC
To: STUFFBLACKPEOPLE HATE
Suggested Topic: “New England”
I think its because of the harsh 10 month winters that 2520s have this ish on lock (that doesn’t explain why Detroit is packed with black folks though) . . . but its really pretty up here in the summer- I’m stuck in a eensy weensy town in Vermont. I’m at one of those “small, intimate liberal arts colleges nestled in the pristine Vermont forests”. I saw someone with a “Quidditch” team shirt on today, there were two crossed brooms as the emblem.
This is 2520 heaven up here. I’m miserable.
So, I thought that my misery may extend to other black people and their sentiments towards the New England states, no?
@ Knatural: alot of my relatives are from Jamaica. If you call them black, they will most likely spit in your face (yes, that bad of attitudes). But seriously, alot of people with brown skin from outside of the U.S. do not consider themselves to be black because their cultures and values are different. For instance, Caribbean food is way different from Soul Food. And the way they raise their children, its different.
For instance, people from the Caribbean hold a higher standard to getting a good education and not necessarily for making the most money. Alot of musicians and athletes and such from down there have college degrees that may not even be related to their line of work.
@ Puff…a Boston in spades is when a set of partners wins all of the books while the other set win none.
For instance, say Ne and I were partners, and you and Landon were partners. If Ne and I won every book (1 book = 1 card from each player played), and you and Landon won none of those books during one hand (1 hand = 13 cards/ 1 deal), that would be called a boston.
Is that a little better of a description?
I lubs me some cajun rice from popeyes. My african friends used to work there in high school and I used to get the HOOK UP!!! That how I turned my west indian family on to popeyes. My parents was mad @ first, you just dont eat fast food!!
And co sign on black people being particular with their food…I just dont eat anybodys food. I need to see how they cook it, how their kitchen looks, if their nails are always dirty or clean, etc.
anjibaby:
Where are you at mulberry college or (dam nteh language college) middleburry? forgot the name…
VT is cool though…. even though i am Negro of Negros…. i have learned the 2520 ways by learning how to ski… The expression on a 2520s face when they see a Negroid swwooshing by them on the slopes doing tricks and jumping high in the air is PRICELESS… plus i heard yall got some good smoke up there, not that i know anything about that…
Plus Vermont got some banging Cheddar Cheese ( i love cheese on a side note, lol)… make some banging Bake Mac and CHeese… dont know how to make it… hell we can give you the recipe
See the problem was that you didn’t eat enough popeyes and your body went into shock. BTW Mrs. Epps, that wasn’t cyber flirting or anything I have a woman. And it’s good to know that my douchebaggery comes from my heritage! Here I just thought I was a cocky jerk for no reason.
@ vanita yeah tell me why this mexican motherfucker was like to me, “you’re not black… you’re african” i’m like, thanks for the assessment. s’all good, i’m not gonna claim being african-american cos i’m not. i can’t claim it for skin colour either. i don’t tick the black/african-american box for that reason (the former, not the latter). and yeaaaaah come visit me! woooooo
Detroit is packed with blacks because of 1. the great migration, and 2. its the end of the Underground railroad.
There are so many landmarks out here from the underground railroad…its awesome. But yea, the reason that its the stop here is because Windsor is right across the water, where the runaway slaves would go.
Yay for history.
Mrs Epps black card needs to be taken away immediately…she dont like popeyes yall…that aint right…that aint right….
@chaotic:
The red beans and rice from Popeyes with the buttery biscuit is the SHIT!
*dying at thought of landon on skis*
“For instance, people from the Caribbean hold a higher standard to getting a good education and not necessarily for making the most money.”
I’m sorry, but that is a lie which we must put to death TODAY.
The West Indian immigrants to America tend to, on average, value education more than the general Black American population.
When we consider the general West Indian population that did NOT immigrate, this stereotype which is applied to immigrants into America no longer holds true.
@ puff…Mexicans for some reason know everybody’s heritage. Puerto ricans and other latinos always think I’m Dominican, but a Mexican will be like “Nah, she’s Cuban”. My girl did that to me when I first met her…lol.
Landon (20:18:41) :
OMAR you forgot…… to add Tainted WEED…
WOW imagin that…
If they Poisned: Popeyes Fried Chicken, Red lobster (& Churchs) bisuits, Dominoes (w. anthrax), lead in sweet tea, Tainted Corn Bread Mix, posioned koolaid packs, tainted Weed & hennessey….
WE WOULD BE FUCKED!!!
You’ve got me terrified to turn on the news now.
Next at 11 – Salmonella outbreak in the nation’s entire chicken supply. No more chicken for at least 30 days. Details after these messages.
@ Jen…maybe its just the ones I’ve been around…(this includes those that live down in the Caribbean).
Vanita-And co sign on black people being particular with their food…I just dont eat anybodys food. I need to see how they cook it, how their kitchen looks, if their nails are always dirty or clean, etc
im the same way…i rarely eat food that i cant reconize lol…i reme when my friends mom made us this food once and it had cow tongue in it and some other stuff sorry i mena i love african food and all but never again will i eat cow tongue..it was just slimmy and weird tasting but the rest of the stuff was goood good good!
@ Diva & Puff – Why do they always know?!?! What kind of 6th sense do Mexicans have about heritage?!?!
@ chaotic it’s not that he knew i was nigerian, he just realised i wasn’t like the african-americans he knows.
I’m going to have to go with it MUST just be the ones you’ve been around.
Because some of those countries don’t even have public school.
@ Vanita…I wish I knew. And sadly, its only the full blooded Mexicans…the mixed ones are clueless..
Oh God, a deep conversation is starting.
Why can’t we just talk about chicken?
Jen –
she is referecing the carribean nations which were English colonies who put more money into the school systems of those colonies. The enlighs school system is a lot better.
@Knat…I’m sorry, but the subject is close to my heart!!
I get tired of people saying that. That and the “Black children think being intelligent is acting white” myth.
@ mrs epps cow tongue what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck *vomiting all over the motherfucking place*
@ Jen: I try to tell the truf. Folks around these parts don’t wanna hear me though.
And Landon lose black points for liking ritzy Vermont cheese.
Reminisces of Boondocks scene:
Robert ‘Granddad’ Freeman: There’s a new white man out here! He’s refined. For example, did you know that the new white man loves gourmet cheese?
Huey Freeman: Wait, I’m sorry. Did you say “cheese”?
Robert ‘Granddad’ Freeman: Yup, cheese. You give the meanest white man a piece of cheese and he turn into Mr. Rogers.
Huey Freeman: Granddad, that doesn’t make sense.
Robert ‘Granddad’ Freeman: Don’t you talk back to me, boy!
Huey Freeman: Granddad, you can’t tame the white supremacist power structure with cheese!
Robert ‘Granddad’ Freeman: Oh, yes I can!
Huey Freeman: No, you can’t!
Robert ‘Granddad’ Freeman: Yes, I can!
Huey Freeman: No, you can not!
Ok Chicken. Im hungry. I want some Jerk Chicken RIGHT NOW!!!! mmmm…
Or how about a chicken cheesesteak?
Chicken Alfredo?
Chicken Parm?
Damn if the salmonella outbreak is traced back to chicken, that would cause a HELLVA riot…
Imagine no FRIED CHICKEN yall…
@ chaotic – he’s mixed race so maybe that’s why
And, no, Landon…I think she is referencing the popular myth that West Indians and Africans value education more than Black Americans.
look aint using (triple negative alert) no dman no american gov’ment cheese in my bake mac and cheese!!!
Gabriel sweetie, i wasnt taking what you said as cyber-flirting…i was saying i got a man to the f”ind me a good liberian man” part.
Vantia hell naw.. i still eat my chicken just not from popeyes… i just cant do it.. i gag everytime its mentioned.
Chaotic- im bori and you look cuban to me actually hahah.. but you could pass for dominican i could see how ppl make the mistake.
Omar, I like vermont cheddar cheese, esp in some mac and cheese…mmmm…
@ Jen…about the black children thinking education is acting white…I’m from the suburbs and I used to get flack from the black kids saying that I acted white because I speak proper….so I’m going to go out on a limb saying that alot of black kids think like that, but not all.
And speaking of the fact that most of the Caribbeans that I know are from Jamaica, Barbados and Trinidad might be why the ones I’ve been surrounded by folks that are like that.
@Jen… they do. Its the exact reason Oprah started her school in Africa. She didn’t say that Black Americans don’t value education just that the Africans value it more.
Chaotic, they got on you for not being able to codeswitch.
Not being able to codeswitch =/= being intelligent.
Also, to the extent that the “acting white” myth exists, it exists among a tiny minority of the Black population that lives in suburbs wherein Blacks are a small minority and among children with little socialization with Black people. And there it only exists because the poor children know not much more about Blackness than what the media portrays.
And, I’m sorry, but I cannot cosign on the notion that West Indians of any single country or island are more inclined to value education than Black Americans. Won’t do it–now or ever and can’t stand to hear it.
@ Breez…..Goddamn you.
@ Chaotic Diva You forgot to add that a Boston preceeds fights between spades partners.
My wife and her family are from Trinidad and they all consider themselves black, but they don’t use African-American they say Caribbean-American.
As for education, in Trinidad you can go to college for free and there are still a lot of people that don’t go so it isn’t just us. Actually there are tonnes of white people in America that don’t value education which is exhibited by their disdain of INTELLIGENT people like Michelle Obama. Whether we like it or not it is almost American to not value education, you are supposed to love your country and get screwed by smart politicians who play dumb to make you feel good about yourself.
@Knat and Mrs. Epps – If black people were HYGIENIC every ‘Carry-Out’ in DC would be out of business.
Ok, Most caribbean people do place heavy emphasis on education. Its all my family did, and we used to have competitions up until this day. My cousin got in to Harvard and people were lookin @ their kids like “you couldnt get in to Harvard too???” (but my education was free so my parents didnt beat me too much LOL)
But yes, we do things in our family like play 24 (that math game) and do other educational things for fun. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I know some of the MOST RANDOM facts, but its because how i was brought up.
puff yes cow tongue… they are from sierra leon and they eat all types of ish that i would even think of cooking…but last time i was over we had oxtail and curry goat which is my favorite and my girls man who is jamaican made some rice and peas(beans and rice) yummmmyyyy..but yea if i think about it i dont really have “american friends” most are african, west indian, latino, asian ect. and the white friends i have are italian or english lol
@Chaotic: Yay for history, indeed.
@Landon: Yes, I’m in Middlebury. Where Middlebury= middle of nowhere
I saw “The Happening” the weekend it came out, which was right before I got up here. I am freaking terrified of all these trees (and I grew up in the South with plenty of trees). I dread that the movie was a premonition.
And all I hear about is the free-flowing cheese and maple syrup.
Oh, and its like granola falls from the skies or something.
africans make a huge deal out of education, trust. that’s why i have my parents and all my older relatives breathing down my neck about getting a “good” degree and how i’m meant to be a doctor/engineer/lawyer/accountant cos any other job doesn’t cut it. they’re very selective about what type of education they value. my mother: http://youtube.com/watch?v=s86HnJbp2qs
Oprah began a school in Africa when her own people are suffering from a lack of adequate schooling in their communities because she is severely misled.
I’m not saying she did a bad thing, I’m just saying that there are just as many children in American ghettos that would love to learn at a school funded by Oprah Winfrey.
Jen –
if years ago in those countrie education was more attainable where as we had limits on our education. The english school system in general is better and they do a better job with teaching their younger students. I use to have people from Jam Rock stay at my house when they were kids and they were WAY passed the level of the same kids here…
If you look at todays top colleges and programs you will see a large number of blacks in top school (non athletes) be not of african american hertiage but carribean and african!
@Ayo – Oprah started that school in Africa because public school wasn’t available for free after elementary school in that area.
But I also guess those in the Caribbean who stress education see it as a way to get out of the country. If you can get to the US on an educational visa your home free. Its like two things you can brag about – Your child is in the US, and at the BEST school too!! I know my family(the Trini side) LOVES to brag…(but they also love to drink)
I know that many African and West Indian families value education, Vanita and Puff. But that doesn’t mean that as a group, Africans and West Indians value education more than Black Americans. That is an ugly lie that is meant to devalue Black Americans in this country, and sadly, people–black and other–are buying into it to our detriment.
@Landon – that is because most competitive Black Americans are educated at the undergraduate level at HBCUs, not white schools.
CO_SIGNNNNNNNNNN-@ Jen…about the black children thinking education is acting white…I’m from the suburbs and I used to get flack from the black kids saying that I acted white because I speak proper….so I’m going to go out on a limb saying that alot of black kids think like that, but not all.
i would get teased by kids in my neighborhood saying i was trying to be white because i didnt use “slang” words. I was brought up to talk proper sit up proper and walk proper dammit.. dont hate because your mama stopped her education after high school and did you teach/ correct your english.
Omar – Thank you.
My in-laws are also Trini. Loving drank is an understatement for them.
This discussion is why I’ll be raising my kids in the “A”
F.I.L.A.
Again, Mrs. Epps–mocking you for not being able to codeswitch is NOT the same as mocking you for being intelligent.
Most poor, Midwestern white people in America can speak standard English. Does that make them any more intelligent than the Black children in our poorer communities who can not? HELL TO THE NO.
I smirk when *insert immigrant here* tells me they’re not American black/chinese/mexican/whatever with an air of superiority or disdain.
Tell it to the police or landlord, dear and see how plays out.
My fave is if you speak proper english and some assclown tells you what good english you speak.
Oh no, I wouldnt say Africans and Caribbean people value it more than african americans, but I would say that more people in those countries see it as a tool to better themselves than most african americans. And its because of the american culture. If you are in (the supposed) best country in the world, a place where everyone is trying to get to, what more do you need? Additionally, if you have never seen anything outside of this country, what more do you want to know?
UNEDUCATED people have a very messed up view of the world. I know people (black and white) who will NOT travel outside this country because they think everyone is anti-american(which is probably true, but they think of it as they will get f-ed up on site)
Jen…
For example, in Barbados students must take exams @ 10 years old (4th grade) to determine what High School they will attend. Do you not think this impacts the emphasis a family places on education in home?
Have you visited an urban school district?
I had a third grader tell me he couldnt imagine finish high school. He figured he would be dead before then – he was 8 years old. Do you think that child was at home loving his free American education???? He couldnt read and spent all of his time in the office.
@ jen – i don’t think africans/west indians value education more than african-americans, i was actually vilifying africans for being so narrow-minded about the kind of education they tend to value or deem “appropriate”. i speak from personal experience as someone who’s had pressure to study at a particular place/do a particular course put on me, which makes me furious.
Funny thing is my mother used to always tell how the way I would speak English was bad (she grew up in New York) but when I get to Georgia I had people telling me I speak too proper… completely different world.
@ Omar… yeah.. but she also said that they were more appreciative of an education – esp a free one – there. this was after all the heat related to ‘why not America?’ questions got asked.
@ lolo bwahahahahaha that was fucked uppppp
@ vanita – damn i HATE when some americans (no offence, don’t jump on my ass) act all america is the best country in the world when they don’t know shit even about fucking canada across the border. ignorance is the devil.
I apologize, Puff. I have befriended so, so, so many people who share the mentality that you describe, that I assumed you were lauding it.
Ayo, I was educated 6th – 9th grade in an urban school district.
I stand by what I said.
@Jen – A WHOLE lot of white people can’t speak proper english at all but they are the majority so no one says anything. The guy they elected president is a testament to that.
Omar… I grew up in NY, but lived other places then finished school in NY. they have the most proper speaking ebonics of any part of the country.
Jen, Oprah wouldn’t have been able to open a school of the caliber the children deserve here. The bureaucracy and teachers unions and every entrenched group and every other naysayer would make sure of that. Hello, the uproar over charter schools? There was that philanthropist millionaire who wanted to give Detroit umpteen millions of dollars towards establishing some better schools a few years back but the mayor and the unions made sure that didn’t happen.
@ jen s’all love
@Ayo – you are bound to be appreciative of something that is free after you have been paying for it. Shit, I would love some free gas right now…
Lolo (20:56:48) :
I smirk when *insert immigrant here* tells me they’re not American black/chinese/mexican/whatever with an air of superiority or disdain.
Tell it to the police or landlord, dear and see how plays out.
My fave is if you speak proper english and some assclown tells you what good english you speak.
Hahaha. I just got a text from a Korean American (2nd gen) friend of mine going oooooooofffffffffff on the “you speak good English” thing. She did the Rick James thing – “I’m American, B@#%h! LOL.
@Omar – I know what you mean, but you are missing my point.
Frankly, most of the Black people who complain that they were mocked for using proper English as children are merely referring to the ACCENT in which they spoke. Aside from the fact that these same people frequently think “I talk proper” is a grammatically acceptable sentence, one’s accent or native tongue says NOTHING about their intelligence.
I’m not drinking that kool aid.
@ Puff…I will admit, the only things I know about Canada (which is 30 minutes away from where I live) is that the drinking age is 19 and that 70% of our oil (meaning in the U.S.) is from there.
…Ok, so I also know that all of their governmental documents are written in both French and English, and that Native people (I can’t think of what they call them…brain synapse misfire) govern their own areas in the northern provinces.
Or maybe you didn’t miss my point…maybe you were adding to it.
I’m too used to people disagreeing with every damn thing I say!!
because your JEn…
So whats worst
using a paddle in bed or having hot wax poured on you in bed?
because this convo got to serious
what you guys / gals think we are… educated black folk who are suppose to lead our people to the promise land?
@ lolo…don’t blame the mayor…the last two mayors, Dennis Archer and Kwame Kilpatrick (no matter how scandalous they may be around strippers and interns) did a hell of a lot to clean up the city. This is coming from someone who may live in a suburban area, but spent most of her summers in the city (including nowadays).
What people don’t realize is that the City Council does all that shit. Right now, they’re being investigated by the FBI for scandalous contracts. Trust, mayors are only figure heads…
Jen (20:48:09) :
I’m not saying she did a bad thing, I’m just saying that there are just as many children in American ghettos that would love to learn at a school funded by Oprah Winfrey.
UUUGGGGHHHHH!!! LAY OFF OPRAH!!! Jen, American ghetto boys and girls don’t have to go to schools funded by Oprah b/c they can already go to free. Oprah’s school is for kids who’s parents cannot afford to send them to school and who otherwise, would have NO OPPORTUNITY to get a formal education.
I’m sorry. I just get a little defensive when people talk about her.
lol @ landon’s sarcasm….by the way, where the hell did you go on facebook? I thought we were having “sexy time”…lol..
I know America doesn’t have the highest standard of living in the world and it is primarily because we treat poor people like lepers. It is always Canada or Norway or somewhere like that.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_Development_Index#2007_report
Landon, you kinky such-and-such!!!
@ landon – what’s bad about a paddle?
Paddle in the Bed… WTF??
@ Jen…Landon’s a one Jen only kind of guy (my name is Jen also, btw…).
nothing… who said pain was bad?
Yonnie3K, I have tutored grown Black American men who do not know how to use a comma or a period.
That means that even though they got a free education, it was not a sound one and did not amount to much beyond the 6th grade level.
Clearly, they value education: they learned how to use a period and a comma as soon as somebody was made available who was willing to teach them!
But, what good is a free education if it isn’t worth a damn?
I am hungry!
Paddle!! tsk tsk. People people people! Use ur hand!!
@ the paddle in the bed:
are we playing “freaky greeks” or “Catholic school girls”?
Paddles leave marks
I went to a majority white school from 1st-12th grade in bethesda until now… and when i moved to florida it was a whole different story…i seriosly had issues understanding ppl down there for a while until i caught on to the slang. I would seriously have to have dudes slow down the speech for me to get the jist of what theu were tryign to say to me I would be like “WAAAAAAAAAAA”??????!! lol now that im back, florida lingo rubbed off on me…now i say “finna” “aint”, “joint” like some country bumkin lol.
Note to everyone: NEVER EVER USE SLANG AT WORK… i witnesses this shit everytime i come in the office…and i always have this thing “damn why he/she have to black” so there’s this new girl int he office and i swear she didnt passes the 5th grade! I dont see how ppl under stand her let alone take her seriously by the way she talks… its liek she has no boundry on when to use slang and when not to. It irrks the hell out me because when she is around me everyone looks at me liek their expecting me to start talking like her F THAT keep the i’gnat talk at home
@Diva
I know and while I don’t looove Kilpatrick I do recognise that he did some good work getting some money into the city. However, I also know that while he originally supported Thompson’s proposal for the city’s kids he also completely pussied out once the Detroit teacher’s union squawked. The man has at the least a strong bully pulpit and he doesn’t send his own children to the public schools ….
Sorry for the serious but I do have really strong opinions about public education and how much they need to be better funded and MANAGED. sigh.
@ Diva:
I went to catholic school for high school and i pledged…
pick you posion
@ Jen…there are grown black men who don’t know how to use grammar because they were more focused on things outside of getting their education. And the schools that don’t have proper funding, its not Oprah or any other philanthropists job to fund our schools when we pay taxes to do so.
Coming from an overcrowded and underfunded high school (yes, I speak very good English), I can tell you that the people in the state government have been messing with the budget which has put Michigan in a financial crisis. I don’t know if anybody heard about the budget crisis situation that we had not too long ago.
paddle- Don’t hit me like I stole your fucking bike.
Hot wax- Don’t pour that shit on me like you are pouring sugar in lemonade.
Again, my west indian parents STRESSED to me (and by that, I mean beat) that you speak as accent-less as possible. Maybe that speaking white. lord knows I used to get teased for it alot growing up. But I guess they did too, so thats why they stressed (beat) me in to speaking as proper as possible around ALL people.
Landon-what you guys / gals think we are… educated black folk who are suppose to lead our people to the promise land?
thanks for saving us!!
Hmm paddle or poured wax…can i say both?
yeah the wax would be messy, that would be sticky sheets in a very bad way…
@ Ne:
YOu taking the fun out of it for Diva And I… We ready to get our PARTY on and you talking about wait, not too hard be careful…
“So whats worst using a paddle in bed or having hot wax poured on you in bed?”
Did you mean to ask which is worse or which is better? I’m just saying…
Oh, y’all have moved on from the serious stuff, but I actually feel what you’re saying today Jen, lol. What people keep missing is that an immigrant population is always going to be a somewhat specialized group (in terms of resources or whatever else have you) than the general population.
Jen, I feel you. I’ve tutored before too. However I don’t think that it means that they weren’t offered a good education. I think that it means that they didn’t take advantage of it when it was presented to them. Maybe by the time you got to them, their grown asses realized that maybe they should learn how to use a comma. And don’t talk to me about money and funding. I taught in an African orphanage to kids who no one cared to send to school. I would be teaching them geometry on a sheet of paper on Monday and when I came back on Wednesday, they had that same sheet of paper nicely tucked away waiting for my return. That is someone who values an education. A lot, if not most, American children take it for granted or completely disregard it. Kids get out of the free education what they put into it. The point is, it is there for the taking. That was not the case for Oprah’s students and so many other potential students throughout the developing world.