Interracial dating has been a sore spot for both black people and the non-black people that engage them (and vice-versa) ever since the two groups were introduced to one another. Unfortunate historical circumstances coupled with natural human aversion to unfamiliar people have caused this topic, which is fundamentally a rather stupid one when it really comes down to it, to bubble up more rage and animosity than one might have for the crazy dude that hypothetically tried to murder his family.
To find out how pissed off people get about interracial dating, all you have to do is go to the comments sections of the FAQ page or Subtle Racism III: Asian Chicks. There you will find all manner of racial poop flinging, much of it coming from black men and black women telling each other how much they suck.
Figure 1: I can’t wait for some jackass to cry ‘racist’ over this image
You’ll witness black men saying that black women have too much attitude or are self-defeating; black women telling black men that they’re stuck up or that white guys are more polite and ‘evolved’, and what have you. It’s the most ridiculous pile of tripe I’ve ever been exposed to in recent memory.
When the shit chucking dies down a bit, we sometimes get into the reasons that people (black men, in particular) choose to date out. Some guys have legitimate reasons, while others either make sweeping comments about the anger of black women, or the supposed superior physical attractiveness of non-black women…or some people have this guy’s motives:
Figure 2: My friends are hysterical
Most people like to focus on the ‘why’ of interracial dating, but I personally like to focus on another question:
Who the fuck cares?
There are two things that enrage me about interracial dating as a topic (as opposed to the actual act of dating out, which I am fine with):
1.) We’re all going to die.
I don’t mean just the people that are alive today, or our children, or their descendants. I mean everybody, forever. After awhile, the sun is going to burn out all its fuel and expand as it cools. As it expands, it will swallow Mercury and Venus, and turn the surface of the Earth into liquid-hot magma before the planet is itself consumed by the sun. When that happens, no one will remember us. No will know that we were ever here. Nothing that has ever happened in the entire course of not just human history, but the entire history of planet Earth, will matter.
Figure 3: It WILL happen…
Looking at the issue through a cosmic lens makes ruffled feathers over a black man/yellow woman combo seem rather stupid, but it would also seem to justify things like murder and rape. I don’t really think this is a fair comparison because, regardless of your perspective on how doomed we as humans are, murder and rape are objectively evil. Even babies seem to recognize that these things are wrong. But ill-feeling toward interracial relationships is learned behavior, and most sane people wouldn’t say such relationships are inherently evil.
Ignoring things that are going to happen billions of years from now, there is a much more down-to-earth reason that interracial dating can be a problem:
2.) Some black people use interracial dating as a referendum on the ‘date-ability’ of their own race.
It enrages me that anyone would have the gall to declare an entire race of people beneath them. When that race is your own, it boils down to self-loathing by sheer definition. This is why I laughed on the inside when Wesley Snipes got sentenced, and this is why my blood boils when some asian women shun all asian men because “they’re all dorky and we’re all hot” even though it a.) isn’t true and b.) has absolutely nothing to do with me. I suppose it’s the pompous attitudes more than the racism that bothers me.
Figure 4: Karma’s a bitch, ain’t it?
Black men and women just LOVE to say to one another: “Hey yall didn’t holler, so don’t hate when you see me with a white/asian/hispanic/mer[maid|man].” I group these people with the same class of idiot that brings white supremacists to this site claiming superiority to blacks while inexplicably requiring our existence and input to feel validated.
If you feel that dating outside your race should go hand-in-hand with people of your own race gazing longingly through the glass wall of your own ignorance while pining to smash that wall to assume the position of your significant other, you should have your fucking throat cut. For people like you, your own race shuns you because you’re a fucking asshole. There is no other reason. Your success with other races can be explained in all likelihood by cultural guilt or fetishism feeding a remarkably high bullshit tolerance.
I digress.
Date and fuck whoever you want, goddammit. Life’s too short, we’re all going to die, and we’re all pink on the inside.
Still can’t stand Wesley. What a punk!
Black men and women just LOVE to say to one another: “Hey yall didn’t holler, so don’t hate when you see me with a white/asian/hispanic/mer[maid|man].”
So sick of that comment! Total garbage!
My bad.. I should have said I am so sick of them using that as their excuse for dating outside of the race.
my friends always get pissed at me when i state that i don’t have a problem with it
i would love (LOVE) to date outside of my race… it just hasn’t happened yet.
ah well…
we’re all pink on the inside.
lol
Funny and insightful. I too laughed at Wesley and out loud! Life’s too short to be worrying about this business. We have too many important things going on.
“It enrages me that anyone would have the gall to declare an entire race of people beneath them. When that race is your own, it boils down to self-loathing by sheer definition. ”
Oh my gosh BRAVO! BRAVO! HIP HIP HORRAY! Truest thing said yet.
Ah man, thank you for this post, that’s what i was trying to say on the FAQ page, date who you want to, let love be free, but damn why we gotta trample each other first chance we get. Why EX out a whole bunch of mofos for no reason other than they look like you. Damn.
I normally lurk, but I just had to respond to this post, I totally agree, we are all going to drop dead one day and when we do I don’t think we will be worrying about who dated who and what race they were from. People wake up, there is so much more to be worried about. Cyclones, Earthquakes, Tornados, Wildfires…..and election where an African-American might just win? Open your eyes and see what is really going on…Interracial dating is not where our focus should be right now. Major things is happening right now before our eyes and if all people can be concerned about is whether or not I am dating a white man then we are in some deep shit!
that’s right!
WHO FUCKING CARES!
I for one am going to date whom ever the fuck I want to, no matter what race he may be. So I don’t really give 2 fucks when I see other’s dating out of their race. I have an attraction to men of all shades and race.
Ok, I haven’t the post read yet. I just got through reading this, and lo and behold, Chris is on interracial dating. (link is semi related) Off to read the post…
And R.I.P. Mildred Loving
as i’ve gotten older, i too realize that life is too short to worry about who is dating who…my experience has been that love can be hard to find, period…if you find some one that happens to be a different race than you but but loves you and treats you with the respect you do deserve, then who am i or anyone to throw negativity at it…
now, wesley snipes, no love over here for him…i remember how loud and proud he was to say all the negative about black women to the mainstream press…so fuck him, he can go to jail…goodbye
my only issue with interracial dating as it has already been mention is the generalizations as to why someone won’t date this one or that one…how can you say black women are blah, blah,blah and asian men are blah, blah, blah unless you’ve dated every single one of them…
i respect people a whole lot more if they just say, “i prefer to date whoever because that’s who i’m attracted to”, rather than i don’t date this group because they all are loud or whatever excuse they use…
Yo. I HATE listening to my black girlfriends (I’m black too, by the way) rant about interracial couples. I mean, why the hell does it matter?? You just rejected dude before he got that white girl anyway! People spend way too much time hating what other people choose to do with their personal lives- especially when it affects them in NO way whatsoever.
It does grind my gears though (haha..I love that phrase) to hear black men rattle off all the bullshit about black women being to loud or demanding or what have you, since the men that say that all tend to have some issues they need to work on…
*giggling at we’re all pink on the inside*
Anyway, this entry has it pretty much down to bare definition: self-loathing. Personally, I date interracially and still run into problems with friends (primarily black males) who have issues with it. I told them essentially: “he’s not screwing you, so why should you care?”
i could care less if a sister wants to date outside her race regardless of the reasoning. I date within & out of my race and its no one else’s business but my own. Like you said date, fuck, and see who u want. It’s not that fucking serious. Get yours!
If not for the swirl, my kid wouldn’t exist, so…*shrug*
Nah, but I really don’t give a shit for the most part. The only time it gets my goat is when it’s clear that those in the relationship are doing it based on any of the lame excuses above. I’m particularly peeved by three scenarios, though.
1. Black dude/non Black chick, walking together: Dude is breaking his neck to avoid locking eyes with every single black woman in sight, surely to avoid the “sistagurl” eye rolling/neck snapping/teeth sucking/under breath mumbling.
Newsflash, dude; I don’t give a shit who’s on your arm, because you aren’t with me, regardless! I can’t waste time gritting over some dude who ain’t with/doesn’t want me.
2. Black dude/non Black chick, walking together: Dude is cool, but the chick is breaking her neck to draw attention to herself and/or engage in unnecessary PDA, as if to say “Look, darkie! I got him! One less for you! Please get mad and do the “Sistagurl” ( as referenced above) so that I can bitch about it to him and my girlfriends/eventually use this experience as an excuse to break up with him later/ or nag him about for the rest of our lives!”
3.Black chick/non Black dude, making an appearance: Dude is usually either the biggest fucking cornball imaginable, or trying too hard to appear “down”, and the chick has a shit eating grin at all times, because it’s obvious in her mind that she’s a freaking maverick! She’s got her “something new” and is usually the type that strives to be the Exceptional Negro* in whatever circle she runs in. Girl please, ain’t nobody thinking about you, and nobody wants that goofy ass dude, either, which is why YOU have him!
*Oh I’m sure y’all know what an Exceptional Negro is. You know- the one who was the only one in such and such school, the only one taking a full load of AP/Baccalaureate classes in high school, the only one who is fluent in 12 different languages, The only Black family in that exclusive gated community, etc. Usually things that are largely insignificant. I’m sure many of us who read this blog have been “the only” something or other at various points in our lives, but the Exceptional Negro seems to always feel the need to point out when/why they were “the only”, and why they can’t relate to other Blacks (who aren’t/weren’t “the only”), and seem to think that being “the only” somehow validates them. Negro, Please. Sit the entire fuck down. We ain’t impressed.
Merri Lee,
Josh Packwood is one fine white boy.
I almost peed my pants laughing at Wesley Snipes. Guess he FINALLY realized he’s still just a nigga. What a jiggaboo.
If someone wants to date outside of their race then that’s their business. But miss me with all the excuses as to why you can’t or won’t date within your own race cause I am not trying to hear it!
No this negro was not wearing a Kente cloth tie. Damnit.
I’m glad you wrote this post Chris. This is my exact feelings on interracial dating succintly put. But usually when I talk about I have to elaborate on self-hating people and people assume because I’m a black woman explaining a phenomenom, that I have a problem with interracial dating. I have a problem with racial fetishims (which you indulge in the face of much bullshit), and putting other people down to explain themselves. I mean in all fun we say a lot about other races and our own, but just for jokes, not truly holding animosity or trying to hurt someone (this is for the trolls to understand please). Stuff like Ebony magazines constant articles on ‘why black men hate black women’, Wesleys’ snipes comments, the research into the origins of ‘biracial’ as a term (racist white women who married black men but didn’t want their children seen as black), and the comments section on the Washington Post’s special feature on being a black man enrage me. But my heart just swells with pride when I see any interracial couple together because they get down with one another, and they understand each other’s culture. Like the article Merri Lee posted. That guy makes me all happy by not buying into America’s race fears and attending a black school because thats what was good for him. And most of the school accepting him for who he was.
Also I laugh my ass off when I walk around with my male friends (sorry not one wants this ass, or is available to want this) white and indian or whatever and getting crazy looks from people who assume we’re dating. I’m just happy they don’t say shit to me. I hate the damn militant black folk who think because I’ve got an afro and I’m down for black folk I have to be racist agains other people.
My thing is, if Black women weren’t almost never getting married then interracial dating would be just whatevs, but since we’re left alone and unmarried then it’s a serious issue. In today’s society, it’s hard to compete as a single buyer so to speak against double income couples, so marriage is nearly essential to achieving the so-called American dream of homeownership (I stress homeownership because our country actually grants favored tax status to homeowners and as any realtor will tell you 60% of most Americans’ wealth is in their home). I know there are those that are competent and able to become homeowners and be successful without a mate, but many are left behind in this respect.
On a less concrete issue, there is a serious issue of self respect among black women as evidenced by Flavor of Love and the proliferation of weaves and the like, which I feel is an indirect result of Black women trying their best to be a fake ass imitation of a white chick while falling ridiculously short.
Chelle what does that have to do with interracial dating? I believe the topic of black women with low self esteem is over on the straight hair comment section. Check it out.
Troll food
LMAO…My Spidey senses told me that this topic was bound to come up especially after the discussion in the FAQ section. Anyway I’m probably repeating myself here, but usually I do not have a problem with interracial dating. I grew up in Los Angeles and it’s EVERYWHERE. I’ve dating White, Asian, Arabic, and Latino guys before. My preference is Black men since I just find them more attractive. I also desire to eventually marry a Black man because I believe in community and having a stable marriage between two Black partners will contribute to that. However if I find the love of my life who happens to be of another color, then well I have to make sure he is equally invested in Black people as I am. With that being said, I never dated outside of my race to get back at Black men.
Unfortunately I have met a large percentage of Black men who date outside of their race because either 1.) They have issues with Black women going back to their momma 2.)They claim to not meet many black women (which I question because even if you grew up in a Non Black neighborhood, I don’t think after the age of 18 there is an excuse to not interact with “some” black people 3.) They really have some self loathing issues and/or don’t find Black women attractive so they use other excuses to cover up their true feelings. It’s not very PC for a Black man to say Black women are unattractive.
Now there are the Black men who date anyone and anything that is fine, has a nice ass, and a disease free vagina. I have no problems with these types of people because at the end of the day they will date ANY attractive women regardless of race. They don’t harbor feelings towards Black people and aren’t sell outs.
My job is not to determine which category certain Black men fall into when it comes to interracial dating. They know deep down why they choose to make certain decisions. AT the end of the day I really don’t care because I’ve never lost a hot Black guy to a White, Asian, Latino, or Green woman. I don’t find non-Black women threatening because I honestly don’t see what the big deal is about them. Blame my parents for brainwashing me into believing Black is beautiful.
Chelle, if it comes down to it and you still haven’t found the brother you want, start dating Becky’s brother. You want your home and your family widen your scope, anyway a white man may be better at stealing some land for your home. — That was a joke.
thank-you for posting this. i am 52 years old, and i am so tired of the subject . people are going to be with who they want to be with. as my generation used to say”like it or lump it.
“If you feel that dating outside your race should go hand-in-hand with people of your own race gazing longingly through the glass wall of your own ignorance while pining to smash that wall to assume the position of your significant other, you should have your fucking throat cut.”
Sir, you are a poet.
Why hasn’t Tom Harkin posted? Isn’t that him in the photo? (No, I didn’t write that so I could clown him, why did you ask?)
Hi Elaine! Respect and love to you older wiser woman on the board.
No, that’s not Tom Harkin. That’s a friend of mine who, for reasons that would take way too long to explain, we all call “Black Blackitty Blue Black.”
although i do not prefer to date outside my race (black) but i dont care if others do it just like dont care if others are gay (i wont do that either). I just dont approve of people making a big deal out of something that is none of their business.
Well chris you are still getting away with murder I thought no fblack females would be reading this.
The situation in England is weird, no one dates within their race. Girls in England prefer any man as long as they are not Black. Queen Naomi Campbell has proven this.
I have no problem with inter-racial dating unless it is I will never touch a black man thing. That is just dumb.
http://stuffgirlslike.wordpress.com
New topic: White people who don’t know when to quit having kids and get a TV show and a house out of it : [http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/news/texassouthwest/stories/DN-arduggar_10tex.ART.State.Edition1.45f223e.html ] when you know that if folks of any other race did the same sh*t, that either a) nothing would happen or b) people would throw their hands in the air in dismay.
Any chance you might do a post one day on the topic of what black folks should call ourselves? ie black vs African-American, and what about all the Caribbean/West Indies folks who reject outright the African-American label, for themselves or black Americans? How do you “label” yourself? I’m sure this could make a great post, just needs your special combo of humor and cuss words.
Shine, that was an ass move to label Chelle a troll because she dared to disagree with you. What she said was very much relevant to the topic.
I am really sick of the sisters who are okay with interracial dating looking down their noses at us who don’t, as if being ‘down with the swirl’ somehow makes you more civilized. Like, God forbid you be lumped in with us angry savages, right?
I have tried to make peace with interracial dating, I swear. But as I see constant reminders that Black women are treated by men (and women) of ALL races with such low worth, when I look at the marriage statistics and the sorry state of Black people and, in particular, relationships between Black men and Black women….I can’t go for it, I can’t. I honestly believe that the key to any sort of uplift for Black folk is gonna start with family building. Can’t have strong community without strong family, can’t have strong nation without strong community.
I am tired of people acting like Black women are so terrible and that these other women are just so undeniably hot. The women in that picture above are so marginal, they are falling off the page. As Muse said, I’m not threatened by non-Black women. However, I am hurt and offended when “our” men go out of their way to have and to hump anything but us. Am I wrong for wondering if perhaps Black mothers are doing something wrong? Because these young men out here are really giving me the blues. No love and no value for the sisters it seems from far to many of em.
I was watching some teenybopper videos the other day and I saw that the young heartthrobs are still being cast alongside Spanish or “ethnically ambigious” women, sending the message to the little Black girls watching that “You are NOT what we want, you are NOT pretty”.
Black women are just too gorgeous to rationalize wanting anything else. Same for Black men. As much as they anger and hurt me, there is NOTHING in me that wants to experience anything else. We fit, we have shared struggles, we BELONG together.
“The women in that picture above are so marginal, they are falling off the page.”
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I’m going to go out on a limb and say the regular commentators wont be leaving one this time around………
I wont lie, this topic used to burn my gut…and then I met a nice guy who happened to not be black. Furthermore, when it comes to self-hating people, I wouldnt wish them on anyone in any circumstance and hope their partner has the good sense to realize they got points for being a different color.
Ultimately we all will die, but dont be so pessimistic, maybe we’ll master intergalactic/interstellar travel.
I know it doesn’t mean much to you –baller that you are– but I want to give you a dollar. *Is a broke ass college student*
ethel-
did you notice that her husband’s name is jim bob
*dead*
Haha, I am far from a baller. I’ll happy take a dollar in my yet-to-be-procured leopard print man thong (now with more crotch stuffing!)
the only problem i happen to have with interracial dating is this:
when black actors/sports figures/rappers… basically anyone that crosses over into celebrity status suddenly date/marry/shack up with/impregnate white women.
like “momma i made it!! i’ll finally be accepted cause i got a white girl!! look!!”
stuffblackpeoplehate (17:58:07) :
Haha, I am far from a baller. I’ll happy take a dollar in my yet-to-be-procured leopard print man thong (now with more crotch stuffing!)
You dodged the “are you Greek” question someone asked you in a different thread. I’m now assuming you are a Que unless proven otherwise *mischievous side eye*
I think most of us only have problems with interracial dating if it is purely a fetish thing or if it’s a self-hating thing.
But for every other self-hater or fetishist (or maybe every fifth…) you ge My older sister and her boyfriend who is we-play-world-of-warcraft-together in love with her (I wish I was kidding). He is southern PA country white (he says pop instead of soda and y’uns instead of y’all) and lives on land that has no fences. But those two will get married, have little mulatto babies and be happy.
I think in terms of celebrities, Seal and Heidi Klum are an excellent example of an interracial couple who just love each other and aren’t into the “look ma, I got me a white girl!” thing.
Beside that, I had to drop two girlfriends of mine because they obsessed over black guys just to the point where it made me sick. And I couldn’t be around the black guys they were “friends” with because all they’d do when we were hanging out was spout bullshit about “my sisters” were bitches, hos and unworthy of the superior (i.e. school athlete) black man.
“You dodged the “are you Greek” question someone asked you in a different thread. I’m now assuming you are a Que unless proven otherwise *mischievous side eye*”
My apologies.
I am not Greek. What the bloody hell is a Que?
Oh and the two friends I dropped were a brunette white girl and a super self-hating Greek chick.
Excellent, valid and much needed post… over the 24 years of my life I’ve learned that men with penises who know how to use them come in all different colors… that’s really the only requirement…
Thank you ST…you always know how to say it perfectly.
Sista Toldja can we please hang out next time I’m in your city. I love your commentary. I do understand where you are coming from but at this point, I don’t think it is worth it for Black women to trip over Black men who don’t want us when there are Black men who do. I try to approach life as the glass half full you know?
BTW who are those fugly white girls in the picture? They remind me of the drunken sorority whores at USC who use to pass out in the street after a fraternity party.
Now if Black women are getting passed up for some sub par looking White girls then we have a HUGE PROBLEM. I mean the Brother in to photograph is acting like Heidi Klum just had his baby with that Kool-Aid smile.
In fact I don’t think the White are grateful when a Black man takes an ugly White girl off their hands…
I personally have no problem with dating outside of your specified race. I do however have a problem with men or women who date outside their own race exclusively due to self hate or other shitty reasons.
Peace and Date On!!
High five, Sister Toldja!!
“I am tired of people acting like Black women are so terrible and that these other women are just so undeniably hot. The women in that picture above are so marginal, they are falling off the page. As Muse said, I’m not threatened by non-Black women. However, I am hurt and offended when “our” men go out of their way to have and to hump anything but us. Am I wrong for wondering if perhaps Black mothers are doing something wrong?”
Nope, I would be hurt if my son thought that a woman that looked and behaved like ME, was somehow not good enough for him. It is one thing to value beautiful women of all hues, but the reality is that most brothers who profess to date all women generally only date women with european features and mannerisms.
Enough of the BS, let’s get real about this.
Scratch that…I think White men are estastic when an ugly White girl is off the market and a Black man was desparate enough to date her. BAhahaha.
Deesigner can you elaborate on what’s considered European mannerisms/features? Europeans can have wide bellpepper noses and thick lips too. Africans can have slim noses and thin lips…
Thanks, iloveblackpeople. My thoughts rarely come out as lucid as I’d like on here, but I’m glad someone felt me! LOL.
Chris- Que= Que dog, as in a member of Omega Psi Phi fraternity. You never heard of the Ques?
ST- We non-Greek folks have no idea about your special language or names :P. Except for that ridiculous SKEEEEWEEEE nonsense that the girls spout whenever one of them does something they approve of. WTF?
“I’ll happy take a dollar in my yet-to-be-procured leopard print man thong (now with more crotch stuffing!)”
What what . . .
“Chris- Que= Que dog, as in a member of Omega Psi Phi fraternity. You never heard of the Ques?”
Not in the least.
Oh, and I’m not trying to be mean, I go to like, every event the black Greeks on campus put on, I’m just saying for those of us who are uninitiated, the black Greek community’s jargon is a mystery.
muse, i feel you. when i see a black man who turns his nose up at black women and exclusively dates outside of his race, it doesnt bother me. i just take it as a sign that he is not the kind of man that i would ever want to be mixed up with anyway.
Oh, and I’m not trying to be mean, I go to like, every event the black Greeks on campus put on, I’m just saying for those of us who are uninitiated, the black Greek community’s jargon is a mystery.
i think that is kind of the point. its supposed to be a mystery to non-Greeks.
@ Muse, touche’……. I should have said classic european features. I don’t want to get into a volley on Light vs Dark, Straight vs Nappy, Curvy vs Skinny or any of the mindless divisions that we use to differntiate ourselves. However, we all know the brother who would be down with Mariah Carey but pass on Jill Scott, Gabrielle Union or Nia Long…….
@ Muse- Of course we can, lol. I feel you on not stressing it. I’ve settled on quietly disagreeing. I may argue about it with friends or on the net, but I can’t let it get my “pressure” up because it’s not gonna do anyone any good. And you can bet your bottom dollar that my future sons are going to have like an I Love Black Women bootcamp. If one of them even THINKS about stepping out, it’s gonna be like Drop Squad at my house. White girls will get you out of the will quick fast and in a hurry….even if the will only provides for a Crown Royal bag of change and mama’s antique doorknocker earrings!
LOL @ the sorority girls comment! That is exactly what I was thinking! I actually looked at a collegues’s Facebook page yesterday and saw the pictures of her and her sorority sisters. So much eyeliner. So much. And tan lines……*shudders*
Sister Toldja (18:30:05) :
Thanks, iloveblackpeople. My thoughts rarely come out as lucid as I’d like on here, but I’m glad someone felt me! LOL.
Chris- Que= Que dog, as in a member of Omega Psi Phi fraternity. You never heard of the Ques?
Continuing…
Ques are famous for their uniform - Omega Psi Phi T-Shirt, Camoflague pants and combat boots spray painted gold with purple laces. By the end of the party (okay, after like, 5 minutes) they’re wearing nothing but leopard print thongs and gold boots. Others wear a Crown Royal bag in lieu of the thong. ahhh, college….
@ sarah,
I know, ST was asking Chris why he hadn’t heard of the Ques. And it is because he isn’t Greek, as it were. And I totally agree with you about the guys that date exclusively outside their race not being worth my time or effort. Thus, the getting rid of the obsessive white girls and the guys they dated. I couldn’t believe the kind of filth they spewed about black girls in front of me while they were with them as though I wouldn’t care or somehow understand their bullshit.
okay NotBLonde, I’m glad you weren’t TRYING to be mean but please please PLEASE lets be more respectful. You sound like Uncle Ruckus (like you wanted to be like Jail phi jail nigga…woo woo woo). If you have a question then ask it.
Not Blonde- You are gonna start a riot.
I’m not Greek myself, but I went to Howard and grew up in Chicago, so I am just used to hearing all those things. A lot of my friends are Greek. I’m just surprised that someone who lives in DC would be unfamiliar with Black Greekhood. Then again, I don’t know what you people do at those “mixed schools” I keep hearing about, lol.
Let us not get off the topic at hand, my brothers and sisters. Speaking of….where are the men at? I know that a few of the frequent male commenters on here are FOC (Friends Of Chris), and from what I’ve seen and heard, I’d imagine they’d be ok with “the swirl”, but I am surprised no men are saying anything.
“You sound like Uncle Ruckus (like you wanted to be like Jail phi jail nigga…woo woo woo). If you have a question then ask it.”
ROTFLMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Seriously Sista Toldja, do you want to mix genes with someone who loathes black women? Hell no. Shoot let’s keep it real Sista Toldja, you have probably turned down tons of Black guys because they didn’t meet your requirements, so do you feel all that bad if they have to go date Becky? Shoot…all those dirty athletes and D-list actors dating White women don’t bother me since I wouldn’t want them anyway.
I think we get upset when a really on point brotha who is fine as hell steps out. LOL.
No one cares when the undesirables like Pookey and Ray-Ray with a record decides to date Becky.
” White girls will get you out of the will quick fast and in a hurry….even if the will only provides for a Crown Royal bag of change and mama’s antique doorknocker earrings!
You on a roll girl!…….Classic.
Wow I’m sorry. I didn’t know people would get so worked up about my obvious ignorance of Greek society. I go to Berkeley, ok? There are like, 4 black people here. The black Greek community is practically non-existent. Sorry for assuming that other people who aren’t in a frat or sorority don’t know Greek terms.
It’s not the fact that they date Becky, its the idea that somehow we are not good enough in their eyes. I know that we probably shouldn’t care, but damn, when the overwhelming evidence as presented by the media is that your own men don’t want you, it does sting.
And I am happily married to a big beautiful black man (who happend to be a Que.)
Where ARE the brothers today?
Live, and let live.
I’m a brother (ish) and I agree with all points. Dating outside the race is fine as long as it’s not because of the generalizations. You ladies do it too: “I’m so done with triflin’ negroes and only dating white men from now on.” As long as your white man ain’t triflin’ too more power to ya.
ST-I am already talking to my little brother about the you are out of the family clause. He is 13. LOL. Maybe I’m a little early (I actually first mentioned it to him when he was 4 and little non-black girls were flirting with him at the mall one day) but I want to make sure he knows that black women are his standards for beauty!
Dustin, what is a brother(ish)? LOL!
And thank you, Deesigner. This makes up for the shame and guilt I have for not writing my own blog post today, lol.
My husband, clearly in the throes of some sort of psychotic fugue state, mentioned to me that he believes all black woman are as psycho as his mother (paranoid, spiteful, and horribly immature). Yet here he is, married to my black ass. That is the kind of craziness Muse references when she said that these issues come from their mothers, and while he was able to see past that and still only date black women, he’s clearly still scarred.
I would agree with Toldja in that black families and communites are deteriorating, but I would not correlate this sad statistic with interracial dating without mentioning all the ingredients that comprise oppression and disenfranchisement. I think interracial dating is on the lower end of the list of ailments that plague the black community, and those issues start at home.
As a younger person (I’m 29) I resented interracial dating. My HBCU ensured I was black and proud (say it loud!) but with every degree I earned, the qualified black male candidate pool got smaller and smaller and my exposure to different races grew, and all of a sudden, (insert random white name here) started looking kind of cute - same goals, similar interests. The only thing missing was an understanding of black culture, and hell, Morehouse Cutie got that exposure.
But, when it all came down to it, I married a black man.
I think its naive to believe that love sees no color. I also think that remaining close minded to different racial experiences is a detriment to us all. But i also believe we should legalize drugs and gays should be legally married, and all kinds of kooky liberal ideas . . .
ST, “brother(ish)” means I’m black but my opinion on this particular topic might not be as credible since I’d rather re-visit the topic of Chris in a leopard man thong than discuss this further.
What what . . . You know the rest!
NotBlonde (18:53:51) :
Wow I’m sorry. I didn’t know people would get so worked up about my obvious ignorance of Greek society. I go to Berkeley, ok? There are like, 4 black people here. The black Greek community is practically non-existent. Sorry for assuming that other people who aren’t in a frat or sorority don’t know Greek terms.
I fell you. I went to an HBCU so I know the language of the Divine Nine inside and out. I went to a party at a predominately white school like, “WTF is Deke?” (a member of a huge, white frat) I got looked at like I was retarded. I proceeded to spend the whole night accidentally sh!tting on white Greek organizations I’d never heard of.
@ NotBlonde better yet, that should start “I feel you”
Okay, here’s what ticked me off at one point… I dated a white male for a little while back in high school…how about black dudes felt they needed to SAVE me from him? I literally had someone say “We need to hook you up with a black dude”. I was all “WTF? SAVE ME?” Suffice to say, they all got cussed out with the quickness..
Sista Toldja, you are on roll today. As pointed out earlier by other commentors you made some excellent points and I just wanted to say “kudos to you!” In particular the point about the video models and how that effects young girls. I just had a discussion with a friend about about the Batchelor. She adores the show and I can’t stand it and refuse to watch an episode (I think its silly, fixed and sets a bad example). I told her I couldn’t understand why she loves the show, when ALL the Batchelors are white and all the Black and other ethnics get booted off the show. Her argument is that its a just entertainment and its harmless. I replied with “sure, there’s nothing wrong with telling America eligible Batchelors are White, rich and only choose white women…its only a show.” Sorry to get off topic.
Oh…and black GREEKS unite! Being that I went to an HBCU, I know little (and I do mean little) about white/other greek orgs…but even if I wasn’t Greek, I’d still know way more than I needed to about Black Greeks having been immersed in the black college experience.
Dustin- Owwwwww! Do I know the rest?
I said what, what…. (blows rose petals)!!!!
Toldja love the kids, do I do! I personally still would want to know your full out opinion though. Lord knows I have heard my friends bemoan the snow queens, so I know this isn’t just a male/female issue!
I say even if you can’t date inside your own race… at the very least the VERY LEAST what you can do, is have a wii-date with your co-race, and at least get yourself a handie….
There are no colors in handjobs, just the hue a chicken turns into when it’s choked.
$
@Merri Lee
Thanks
I kinda thought I was off in left field for a minute there.
And could people stop blaming the “media” at large for making black women seem undesirable? No matter what the media says, it’s the parents who influence their children the most in the end. If you feel like the “media” is feeding your kids bullshit, don’t let them watch tv. Do as iloveblackpeople does and teach them that black people are beautiful. Honestly though, I don’t see many instances where black women are touted as unappealing or unattractive outside of ignorant music videos and BET that no self-respecting black person would watch anyway.
Outside of those two sources, where else are black women negatively portrayed in the media?
The Bachelor is made by white people, for white people. It doesn’t insinuate anything other than white guys, by and large, like white women. So what?
As a African-American male, I do feel that there should be a desire to marry within one’s race to promote Black family, black community, etc. However, if the person that becomes equal as a life partner is not Black, then I will not shun the lady or punish her. At the end of the day, Love is not defined by a color.
I do think that Black woman place more of a priority to marry a black male than the other way around. I think that this is because there is more of that “fairy-tale” happy ending that many young girls are conditioned to think about when little. Young girls envision finding that Black prince to sweep them off their feet and have the black family, etc. With black boys, they dream about having a hot, beautiful wife and the emphasis to find a black woman is not enforced.
Also, this explains, from my experience, why Black females have more of concern about the state of the Black community and family because of the “fairy-tale” ending adding to the already nurturing character that females have. Even looking at the comments for this post and there are mostly females who are responding to this blog, which shows that females have more of an “opinion” to this topic.
Finally, at the end of the day, to the females, I wonder if you all comment if there is an unattractive BLack male dating a white girl, or only when “that Brotha is FINE” that females have a “hating commentary”???
Shabooty, something tells me the first girl in the Spite picture on the left gives a MEAN handshake.
Rude, yet honest question: how do White girls give these fabulous blow jobs without lips? Should I be tucking my soup coolers in?
Good blowjobs are about tongue, positioning, suction, and (measured) grip pressure. Lips have little or nothing to do with it.
I’ve said too much. Or not enough.
ST, that pretty much was my full opinion. As long as I, personally, don’t have to hear the mostly-unjustified generalizations (e.g. “all sistas are mean” or “all brothers are triflin’”) then I’m relatively unconcerned with whom anyone else dates.
What does bother me is what a few of you ladies have touched on. I feel sorry for the young girls growing up who are force-fed the image of the blond, skinny, hyper-mammiferous, thin-nosed fembot as the only acceptable standard of beauty.
Not just the girls, but you grown women too. The models on magazine covers are like 17 and too skinny for even a 17 year-old. Then they are surgically enhanced (because you can’t be that skinny and have breasts). Then they go through hours of hair and make-up. Then those photos are touched up and plastered across magazine stands as your physical goal.
Then again, one could always just pick up a copy of “KING” and be aiight.
ST, I wholeheartedly agree with what Chris just told you. And now I must go take a cold shower.
Right, right. I understand all of that. But it’s like telling me “this is the best sundae ever”, but there ain’t no whipped cream on it.
Actually, my analogy makes no sense. But I don’t understand the logistics behind doing all of that without a good set of lips. All back to my “Black girls do it better” theory, but how would I know.
@ ST,
I can’t comment as I have only had dealt w/ one white female back in high school. However, if I can hypothesize, I think it is more of the willingness to be carefree regarding sex. I think that might some of the appeal that these white girls have…as there seems to be fewer rules of engagement before the “get-down” among white girls from what I hear.
The soup coolers are always a good look for me , personally so kiss and suck away.
Let’s just put it this way, when there’s a duck sound coming from the back of your throat, you’re doing something right.
as Tracy Morgan says…”GUUGEHGEUUUGEH GUEHHHH (Sucking sound) –I have em slurpin and burpin, baby”.
$
Dustin: “blond, skinny, hyper-mammiferous, thin-nosed fembot as the only acceptable standard of beauty.”
I think that is the worst urban myth around in terms of human beauty standards. If you look at the dumbassery that is the FHM Sexiest Women or People’s Most Beautiful people, the vast majority of them are not blonde or skinny or have huge fake breasts. If anything, that “standard” is being satirized nowadays. Heidi Montag is a perfect example of the bimbo you talk about but how many girls look up to her as the standard of beauty? I know more young girls who like Hanna Montana (nonexistent breasts, brown hair) than Heidi’s fugg ass.
People’s Most Beautiful Person (arguably what idiots look at to determine what they should look like to be beautiful) is Kate Hudson. Blonde, yes. Skinny, kind of but it’s her body type. Hyper-mammiferous-not a chance in hell. Their next most beautiful person is Salma Hayek. I don’t know about you, but she’s like, the antithesis of that bogus theory (other than the huge boobs, but they are hers so whatever).
Sista Toldja first I’m going to say I have great respect for you and probably all the opinions you’ve voiced on this and your blog so far. But I think you misunderstood why I considered Chelle’s comments troll. I think Chelle’s comments took interracial dating idea wayyy too far out field. She linked interracial dating with black women being single as they get older. This means you have to buy into the premise that if black men date outside their race then black women wont have anyone to date or marry because no one but black men would marry a black woman. And I just don’t hold with that. That premise is exactly why I’m mad at Ebony magazine and other forums that bring down black women’s own idea of self-worth. I understand that in mainstream media and the messages put out there black women are the