Sunday mornings in Spring are my favorite time of year, assuming I’m not hung over from the night before. On these mornings, I wake up before dawn and go running around the monuments on the Mall as part of my training regimen for the dance season.
Figure 1: Ah, the serenity of it all
There’s nothing more relaxing than my 9 mile Sunday morning run. The smell of dew and flowers in the air, birds chirping, squirrels and chipmunks everywhere, mature trees, the illuminated marble beauty of the monuments, the red sunrise…the terrified shriek of the inattentive white woman I just spooked.
This is the third motherfucking goddamn time this shit has happened to me, and for some reason it’s always involved a white woman being somewhere she shouldn’t be at a time she shouldn’t be there engaged in some activity that just screams “EASY FUCKING TARGET!” I’ll be running, usually in the dark just before dawn or just after dusk, and some white chick will be walking alone in a secluded and extremely dark area where she is talking VERY loudly on her cellphone and paying attention to absolutely dick.
Figure 2: A danger to herself and everyone else
Next thing you know, I’m within six feet of this fucking idiot, she finally hears my footsteps, turns around to see a large black man running up behind her, SCREAMS!!!!, throws all her shit up in the air, and sends me sprinting away from the area before some cop assumes I’m a rapist and I wind up getting shot in the back like that dude in Glory.
One such incident occurred while I was in college and I was running in the dimly lit corridor that connects a parking lot with one of the residence halls. It happened again when I was running in Rockville some damn where. And finally, it happened yesterday - and this one was by far the worst.
During the previous two incidents, I a.) was jogging and b.) saw the dumbass chick before the shit happened. This time, however, I was in a full sprint down the length of the Reflecting Pool (which is lined with mature shade trees and is, therefore, VERY dark) and I didn’t see or hear the woman. I’m about halfway down the pool when I suddenly hear “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
I think I’m under attack by a whino or a homeless dude, so I respond to this reflexively by shrieking out a war whoop, drawing the small dagger I keep strapped around my forearm during my nighttime runs, and charging in her direction (thanks Dad). When I finally make out who she is, she is frozen in fear…but with the cellphone still stuck up against her empty head.
I stop, stare at her in disbelief, sheathe the dagger, grunt angrily, and jog off.
Figure 3: Police composite sketch of me fleeing the scene
I will never understand why white women (and asian and black women, to a lesser extent) feel they have both the need and the right to walk around alone in the dark while chatting away on their cellphones. The three spooky negro incidents I’ve mentioned above renders the argument that women are master multitaskers completely fucking false - when a woman is on her phone, she completely loses all peripheral focus even if she’s in danger and has ample warning*.
I can hear the counterarguments already: “BUT CHRIS! WE’RE ON THE PHONE SO THAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO US, SOMEONE WILL KNOW!”
1.) You shouldn’t be in that situation in the first place. There is no reason to be walking around at night in unlit areas by yourself in a major fucking city**
2.) Your friend on the other end of the line can’t help you. If that friend didn’t immediately say “GET THE FUCK OFF THE PHONE SO YOU CAN PAY ATTENTION” and hang up, then your friend is as dumb as you are. As she hears your cries for help while you’re being mugged in an alley somewhere, she’ll run around her dorm for ten minutes hysterically yelling “OMIGOD DOES ANYBODY KNOW THE NUMBER TO 911?!?!?!”
Ladies, especially you white ladies, put down the phone and pick up your ears and your pepper spray. Better yet, stop walking around in the dark at night by yourself for no fucking reason. Stop going to frat parties and accepting drinks handed to you by a guy that’s hiding a bottle of pills behind his toga. Stop needlessly putting yourselves in dangerous situations and acting surprised when bad shit happens to you. And most importantly…
STOP RUINING MY SUNDAY MORNING RUN.
*The Reflecting Pool is about 200 yards shy of being 1/2 mile long. The woman was spooked right at mid-length, meaning she had 1/4 mile of my hard breathing and heavy stomping to hear me…if she hadn’t been on the fucking phone.
**I know I’m guilty of this too - after all, I was also running around by the Reflecting Pool in the dark. I am also not a frail, inattentive, and easily spooked white woman. I am 6′3″ tall, I weigh 190lbs, I am already running, and I am armed with knives. I’m not the type of person anyone wants to rape or mug. I can run anywhere I want.
I’m sorry this happened to you…and that it keeps happening to you…and that it probably won’t stop happening to you.
But I am glad that you can take this annoying experience and turn it into something funny we can read.
Your blog is ridiculously funny and I am never disappointed when I read it.
Hope you have a good run tomorrow.
First, that shit was funny as hell. Second, get ready, get ready, get ready (shamelessly stolen from that shyster TD Jakes) for all the massive hateration that is about to flood you after people read this post.
And people wonder why the first place police go to look for a missing white woman is a park…It’s like the horror movie white chicks, always somewhere dark when they shouldn’t be there…oops..and then they fall…*stab*stab*..they’re dead.
i can’t really laugh at this one cause i’m always on my phone after dark.
but i’m normally walking from the car to the house
which isnt really that far.
but i (at least) pay attention to my surroundings
and give the occassional ice grill to whomever happens to walk by
This one is great. I’ve had people cross the street away from me, and then cross back for fear of walking past the scary black guy. Two things:
1. I hate rapists. If I could, I would form a National Rapist & Child Molester Hunters’ Club, in which we would hunt, torture, and/or kill rapists and child molesters for hefty bounties and bragging rights.
2. 9 miles? I haven’t run that far in about two summers…my longest since is 7. I need to step up my game
Let out a huge guffaw @ Figure 3
So what if you get mugged at gunpoint? Dunno if your lil knife will be of much use there.
And the police composite sketch? I just about wet my pants!
*dead@picture3*
Could be worse. At least you aren’t in New York.
Anything to do with cellphones usually = pretty stupid shit, I’ve come to find. Like people lose all sense of propriety when they get a hold of one of those fuckers. Remember that scene in Don’t Be A Menace where the two guy are standing right next to each other and still use the damned cell? I have seen that shit in real life! My mom used to call my brother from two rooms away in the same house when she wanted something.
When I’m out with friends paying $15+ for my meal I do not want to hear you loud ass divorce revenge story or about your erectile dysfunction or how that bitch so-and-so did whatever-the-hell to nobody-gives-a-damn. I was raised with the idea that putting your business out in the street like that was to be avoided. I’m not even 25 yet. What the hell happened?!
That ish is ridiculous.
Ug the worst is the damn walkie talkie bastards. I have that feature and I know damn well you can 1. turn the damn volume down and 2. take that shit off speakerphone and still use the feature. Assholes. I don’t want to hear your fuzzy conversation that is always like ‘dude where are you’ ‘uh i can’t hear you’ ‘uh you should come over here so we can chill and decide to do something’ ‘uh what’d you say’
Also I feel you on that cell phone scare thing. Except young white men are equally as stupid. My school was in an uproar because in the city of Newark 2 white guys got mugged last summer by like 6-15 black teenagers near the one nice/’safe for white people’ part of town. Both guys got their wallets and cell phones taken because guess what? They were walking down the street towards but not in the ’safe’ part of town at dusk on their cell phones and didn’t notice the large amount of young black men trailing their ass for 3 blocks until they rolled up on them and yanked that phone from their ear. Shit if I saw an idiot that oblivious I’d mug him too just for GP. They didn’t even know how many kids mugged them and followed them for 3 blocks at a walking pace? Some observant witnesses scared off the the 6 kids by yelling and running at them when they saw the stupid guy get mugged. They called the mayor to have a meeting to increase safety. If I was mayor I would’ve called the school to start a class to decrease stupidity.
what about running with a miners light strapped to your forehead… you can get them from camping shops…
just turn it on when approaching the lone female…
i would pay huge to see her reaction…
bwah ha ha…
that’ll teach her…
am on the end of a long and huge weekend… and as such a wee bit more twisted than normal…
Another thing that makes for an easy target - ipod wearing ppl. Can’t hear potential mugger/rapist coming.
Irresponsible White Women AHAHAHAHAHAHAAH…is that an oxymoron?
Judging by Figure 3, she may have been more scared at what you were wearing. Wasn’t the right context for that “It’s Christmas Morning!” reaction.
Hilarious and fucked up.
STUFF WOMEN HATE
men who rape, mug, drug, and kill women.
stop fucking doing it.
and don’t fucking tell me i was “asking for it” by being “somewhere i had no business being.”
i usually love your posts, but this one is the ultimate in fail.
I dont think his intention was to say women were asking for it, no one WANTS to be raped, assaulted, mugged, or killed.
He was saying stay your ass in the safety zone and be smart. Dont just MAKE yourself wide open to the sickos.
There is a such thing as CONTRIBUTORY NEGLIGENCE. If we were somewhere dangerous, we shouldnt fucking be there. Or we should be there with a gun and a dagger, not on the phone or with an Ipod jammed in our ears. No, we still dont deserve to be assualted, but damn….dont make it so easy. good post.
Any minute now, Aryan Queen is gonna come up in here and tell us how we are just jealous of their pretty long hair and ability to benefit from affirmative action without anyone getting mad at them about it.
In every city I have lived, I have observed a White woman (or man) walking after dark in the hood with an I-Pod, cell phone or both attached to their ear. And while these irresponsible fools do occasionally become the target for a robbery or assault, I have always known one thing to be true: these Black folks out here who are in the business of robbing and harrassing people are more likely to target me (5′9 and womanly, not on a cell phone and A SISTER) than Becky (5′2 and curvy as a #2 pencil, completely distracted and usually a GENTRIFIER). My theory is 1) even these hoodlums value white life more than Black life and 2) they realise that robbing a Black woman= business as usual, but robbing a White woman= police presence expands milleniafold.
I’m from Chicago, from a neighborhood affectionately known as “Terror Town,” and I have not, do not and will not fuck around after dark. I’ve SEEN what happens to people who get caught slippin and I have learned my lesson from their mistakes. . . You’ve seen the news. . .
But the best part is, Chris, she hasn’t learned her lesson. She will continue to wonder around in the dark, oblivious to everything and everyone else who may be around while she’s chatting away. If she happens to get away unscathed, she will go home, sleep with her cell phone by her head in case she gets a call from Scott, wake up, drive to work on her cell phone and inevitably cut me off on my morning commute. . .
At which point I will follow her to her destination and proceed to bust her windows out with the aluminum bat I keep in my trunk. . .
My point is, they just won’t get it until something REALLY fucked up happens to them. A giant black man running at them with a knife isn’t traumatic enough, so I say next time you run into one of these broads, push her into the pool, or better yet - snatch her cell phone. Hell, do both. Snatch her cell phone THEN push her into the pool.
Maybe then she’ll learn to keep her dumb ass in the house. . .
i’m guess i’m guilty(?) of this. but i only talk on my phone in the dark for short distances, in still pretty-well-lit conditions, i.e., class to my car, parking lots, etc. and particularly at night, i always make sure i have on comfortable shoes (i.e., shit i can run my ass off in, if need be.)
but i’ve never understood why women (particularly white women) like to go out in the middle of the dark? and if you are jogging, bring a buddy.
whoever referenced ipods are dead on. especially with the way those earbuds are made, you can’t hear anything, even if they are turned down to a moderate level.
birah - you have to admit, there are some things that we SHOULD be able to do, but we can’t just as a part of the reality of the society we live in. for instance, maybe one day i’d like to be able to ride upstate in PA to get my rural and rugged living on and sight-see a bit, but i’m damn sure not doing it. why? because that’s not a smart of safe thing for me to do, especially since i heard PA has the biggest membership of KKK in the nation.
Ok. It’s fine for women to walk/run at night in a major city, but one shouldn’t be oblivious to one’s surroundings. Like my dad would say - ‘If you’re out alone at night, act like you have somewhere to go. Walk with a purpose.’ I grew in DC and, knock on wood, the only crime I’ve experienced is having my license plates stolen in Glover Park (yes, White-ass Glover Park). I’ve never been afraid to walk around my own neighborhood, or any other neighborhood, alone at night, because I’m aware of my environment. And I’m not a naturally jumping person anyway. Having said that, I’m still not going to press my luck. If I out alone at night, I want all six senses on high alert, so I definitely won’t have a cellphone jammed in my head.
Birah, I’d be right there with you if 1) this post was about raping, mugging, drugging, and killing women specifically and 2) it wasn’t ridiculous that a black man can’t jog in the park without someone relatively unguarded screaming in his general direction. Because that person wasn’t paying attention. Regardless of gender.
But I agree that a woman can be wherever she wants to be, and that it’s not her fault if someone does attack her. I doubt Chris would be as carefree if someone did try to rape him during his jog.
I forgot, one of the white boys had an ipod in his ears not a cell phone. Man, what a couple of stereotypes. And while black college kids are getting executed at middle schools, and homicide is epidemic in Newark, those 2 nincompoops wasted the mayor’s, the chief of police and the newspaper’s time over some idiocy.
and i love the white women that feel extra safe when they’re on their period…. like just cause you’re ragging doesnt mean u cant get tha dick.
muahahhhah
$
Damnit shabooty, every time your sillyass comes on here I get a stomachache from laughing. ridiculous
birah… stop the whining… you missed the point
you know as a woman when and where you are vulnerable…
those situations are not going to change…
you will not catch me opting to take the badly lit route anywhere late at night.. hell, not even early evening…
yes rapists muggers and killers should stop but until they do…women need to take responsibility for themselves….
that is feminism and empowerment…
act like you fucking know out there or it’s your ass….
Irresponsible White Women AHAHAHAHAHAHAAH…is that an oxymoron?
no, “irresponsible white women” is redundant
I never understood this, especially going to a school where everyone who walks by themselves in the dark gets mugged.
But it’s like they can’t stop won’t stop *harlem shakes*
LOL thanks Sarah, glad somebody caught that.
That’s to funny! Aww poor Chris. Shoot I would went “boogie oogie oogie” and wave the knife at her for being a fucking idiot. Why in the hell do women do that. Its fine and dandy if you want to talk on your phone at night and walk around but damn girl pay attention or atleast have a few friends with you. I swear these white ladies just wanna get snatched up!
About two years ago when I was living in Florida I was walking from the corner store to my house and I was on the phone with my ex and there was this guy that was walking behind me this big ass black dude ran up thinking I didnt see or hear his ass tried to grab me by my arm and take me up the street. Well him not knowing my Dad taught me everything about self defense, I continued to stomp on his foot elbowing him in the stomach and turning around and pepper spraying the shit outta him
and ran all the way home pissed because he ripped my favorite pink sweater! I called my ex back and told him what happened he came to my house and picked me up and then called his friends that lived in that neighborhood to find that dude that tried to attack me(which btw they found him) and did some damage 
white people stay trippin
- http://www.anythingblack.net
Oh, BOO birah!
No one is blaming the victim here. If there are 10 women posting on this thread, there are at LEAST two rape victims. However, it is still irresponsible and stupid to put yourself in the line of fire. Furthermore, it is disgusting that some stupid broad who is running that time of morning by herself is unable to discern a fellow runner from a certain attacker. If she had seen a White man, she wouldn’t have freaked out.
We take steps to protect ourselves every day: we wear seatbelts, we look both ways when crossing the street, we makes judgements about the cleanliness of restaurants, we avoid potentially dangerous situations. If you get hit by a drunk driver while jaywalking, it’s still their fault. If you get food poisioning from a dirty looking carry-out, the blame isn’t on you. BUT, you did choose not to at least try to protect yourself. Same thing if you get raped while walking in a back alley in a notoriously unsafe neighborhood while listening to your I-Pod. It’s not your fault by any means, but you made yourself a damn easy target.
I think the bigger point of this blog was to point out the idiocy of the women who put themselves in precarious situations, then freak out when they see a Black man, as if Black man= probable rapist (even if he is dressed in running gear on a running path).
I never walk anywhere early morning or late at night alone thats just a rape waiting to happen, and I live right near the PG court house and big ass jail. Pass.. But what I will say our neighborhood is pretty damn safe because cops dont play that shit around here. Our alarm went off one day and the cops were at the house less than 1 minute I was like damn…
I especially hear/see this happen in Central Park in NY. WTF? You would think constantly hearing on the news about another white women getting beaten/raped/killed/mugged because they are walking/jogging BY THEMSELVES they would stop. And even worst, it is known that these incidents also happens in broad daylight, they should especially take precautions. Nope, their dumb a$$es say that that will never happen to them or they will simply blow their sissy-ass whistles for help from a good Samaritan. The mugger can easily shove that whistle down your throat or up your a$$es for all the good that will do. I’m sorry, but If I hear a whistle, I sure as hell am not running to your aid. My a$$ is not about to get mugged/rapped too!
Birah-STUFF WOMEN HATE
men who rape, mug, drug, and kill women.
stop fucking doing it.
and don’t fucking tell me i was “asking for it” by being “somewhere i had no business being.”
i usually love your posts, but this one is the ultimate in fail.
Um this post had nothing to do with rape it had to do with white women shit women in general being dumbasses and walking around in the darkness unaware of her surroundings.Read this blog over..
Hmm. I suspect that this post could have triggered some feelings of resentment for someone who has been hit with the “you are asking for it” arguement after an assault. And I can understand how that would hurt. But at the end of the day, you have to protect yourself against those who can hurt you. You wouldn’t go in a dog pound wearing a bikini made of beef, would you?
Also- white people do seem to think they are invincible.
White women do dangerous things like this becasue they know if something happens to them the whole country will come looking for them. Also the news media will ignore wars and earthquakes and famine until she is found or until an acceptable culprit is caught.
@ST they think they’re invincible because of white privilege. which is why they walk in front my car when i’m trying to park and give ME the side eye. BOY STOP.
*cries at figure 3*
I lived down in DC during my freshman year of college over by GWU and there was no way that any of my friends or myself would be out around the pond without backup. When you’re walking around those trees it becomes eternal night. It’s great if you’re playing manhunt at around midnight but that’s among friends.
There is no logical reason why anyone should be wandering by themselves in the dark where people can potentially harm you. It’s called taking preventative measures. Keep your wits about you. Pay attention to everything that is in your vicinity. It ain’t that difficult.
Because I’m curious, what type of dagger do you carry on your person?
I couldn’t fucking agree more. I go bike riding in the morning, and that incident has only happened to me once. I don’t know why my gender acts so fucking confused and indignant when they get raped/maimed/drugged/sold-into-a-sex -ring/killed when they put themselves in situations that are blatantly harmful. That friend-on-the-phone shit doesn’t work at gunpoint, trust me. Then again, I’m almost-always armed when I go out (major city or not, danger isn’t confined to strictly urban areas).
LADIES GO HOME AFTER A PARTY! OR IF YOU’RE TOO DRUNK/STUPID/RESTLESS/WHATEVER TO GO HOME, CRASH AT A FRIEND’S PLACE!
you probably ruined her day btw.
she is most likely recalling the events to her equally empty headed friends
smh.
It’s been proven that if you’re talking on your cell phone, an attacker won’t bother you. It’s common courtesy:
“So yeah, blah blah blah, I can’t believe she said that, blah blah blah” –woman on phone
“Hey! Give me your wallet or—” –attacker
“Umm, excuse me *holds up finger*, but can’t you see that I’m on the phone?”–woman
“Oh.. sorry”–attacker then taps foot, glances at watch while he awaits her to finish her conversation
hateonme.wordpress.com
i just got an ipod (yay and welcome to 2008 me!)…and i’m so nervous to play the thing in public for fear someome will slap me in the back of my head…as for the cellphone, i do not walk and talk out in the middle of nowhere…it’s very easy to not pay attention to your surroundings…i would like to say that in a perfect world, women (and men) should be able to walk around without having worry about the pervs and psychos that walk amongst us…but let’s get real….i know lots and lots of women, especially white women who take life into their hands…i’ve known plenty to walk home, alone and drunk at 2 am…i worked with one that walked home from worked at midnight and said she wasn’t worried because she lived in a mostly black neighborhood and the black guys were too nervous to bother her…
Unfortunately for most, stupidity and ignorance take the place of common sense. Listen fucktwat, regardless of where you live, regardless of your gender, if you don’t pay attention to your surroundings, someone will catch you slipping and you’ll get got.
“i just got an ipod (yay and welcome to 2008 me!)…and i’m so nervous to play the thing in public for fear someome will slap me in the back of my head…”
Nah. Play it, enjoy it. Listen to the music you’d never admit to your friends that you secretly like. Do it on public transportation. My biggest fear is to get hit by a car crossing the street while listening to the damn thing.
“i worked with one that walked home from worked at midnight and said she wasn’t worried because she lived in a mostly black neighborhood and the black guys were too nervous to bother her…”
Come again? Which neighborhood is this?
“the news media will ignore wars and earthquakes and famine until she is found or until an acceptable culprit is caught.”
Aint that the GD* Truth????
Susie Ann’s missing. Shut the schools down, run the Amber Alert, call SWAT, notify NYPD, ring the LAPD, alert the Center for Disease Control, call the troops, got to Aruba, where is CNN?, organize the search and rescue mission, press release time, camera time, Oprah/Montel/Ricki Lake/Phil Donahue/Arsenio Hall, posters, fliers, radio ads, Cant stop wont stop..runnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!! Find rich white chick! The terror must stooooop
LaKweisha’s missing: LaKweisha who? That bitch is probably a stripper in Tijuana. who cares….wheres Susie??? Lets hold a vigil!
these white women have entitlement issues…
they put hillary clinton up there as their champion for chrissakes..
speaks volumes…
You know what I love about your blog? That you take suck fucked up situations and issues and find the inherent ridiculousness of it and then proceed to rrrrrrrrip it apart until I’m laughing out loud.
Well done on this one too.
I’m a firm believer that many people have not watched enough bad horror/slash flicks. Hello, there are situations that arise where you can hear the screeching violins cueing up and walking around in the dark in the early morning hours all alone is definitely one of them. To put yourself in a dicey circumstance is not asking for something horrible to befall you but it is setting yourself up for some unavoidable regret that you didn’t take simple precautions in the first place.
Lastly, I am nervous for you that run armed because if you are ever picked up for running while black, that is going to weigh ugly.
you are so right about the horror/slash flick thing lolo…
my fave thing to say in any dodgy situation such as the lights flickering for no real reason.. ‘i have seen that movie’… LOL… it fucks people up… but i am dead serious..
i walk into a new club or bar or anywhere and look for the emergency exits first then the womens loo..
only then can i enjoy myself…
a wee bit ocd but i have never been caught out in any type of emergency…
always think about the worst thing that can happen in any situation and go from there..
good evening to you all
nice post chris..you may have saved birah’s life…
@sylph
“i worked with one that walked home from worked at midnight and said she wasn’t worried because she lived in a mostly black neighborhood and the black guys were too nervous to bother her…”
Come again? Which neighborhood is this?
this was when i lived in phoenix, az…i now live in boston and i do listen to my ipod on the bus…but when i get off the bus or train, i shut it off…sometimes when i’m on the bus or train, i shut it because i don’t like feel of the vibe…maybe i’m being overly cautious, but like i said, i don’t want to get slapped in the back of the head..or front…
@ Letinstar: Weren’t all those Sidekick robberies taking place up in Beantown?
These are the same women who leave their purse in a shopping cart or on the floor and walk away. I was at Eastern Market in DC last weekend, middle of the day, scores of people around. This White chick leaves her bag ON THE GROUND and walks away to look at jewelry, her back to her purse. I jokingly pretended to put it up and continue walking and disappear into the crowd, because it would have been real easy.
its happened to me too, i live in lincoln park in chicago and that has happened, it pisses me off but i usually laugh my ass off and keep on pushin
And White people always leave their curtains up, or don’t have curtains/blinds at all, and wonder why there are so many break-ins on The Hill. Maybe it’s cultural. They are reactive instead of pro-active/preventive; always wait until something happens instead of considering the possibilities.
” I am 6′3″ tall, I weigh 190lbs”
YUM!
Excuse me I am having a horny day!
white people don’t lock their doors either!
When did these White women become so brave? I’m paranoid as hell when I’m walking somewhere at night and I’m more than capable of holding my own in an altercation. If I’m leaving the office late, I will ALWAYS have the security guard escort me to my car because the last thing I want is to be a rape or robbery victim. I’ll be damned if I’m walking around at night talking loudly on my phone. Those women might have well put on a T-shirt that says “Rape me and cut me into pieces so I can be on Fox News.”
Seriously woman of all races/ethnicities need to be mindful of their surroundings. Although no one deserves to be raped or mugged, being cautious of your surrounding can make the difference between life and death. The conversation with your friend on the other line can wait 5-10 minutes until you safely reach your destination. A lot of White girls at USC ended up getting hurt because they would leave a party drunk out of their mind by their lonesome wandering around Downtown LA with no concept of what could happen to them.
@brran1…yes…they are jacking folks for their sidekicks her in my lovely hometown…i think i mentioned on bad kids post, that i overheard some kids planning their assault on some other kids they were going jump for their sidekicks…thats why i sometimes don’t play my ipod on the bus or train…sadness
There have been times where I have been scared as White women at the sight of a Black man coming towards me at particular times of night or in seemingly unsafe territory. I am also scared when I see White men, or Latino men or any man coming too close to me when I am in an area that isn’t densely populated or well lit.
But in the foolhardy interest of not making an innocent brother feel like a suspect, there have been times where I have played it cool when I wanted to take off running. However, I will grab my purse and speed up anytime I see White people walking behind me. I will also dart my eyes nervously in their direction and throw them a look of pure horror. This is my little piece of retrobution for what they do to the Black man on the daily. Oh, and for the White bitches in Trader Joes who seem to always remember to secure their purses when I walk by. I guess I just look like a hummus eating lady thug.
Good safety advice whether a woman is white, black or purple. You can’t control how someone else will act but you can control your actions — stay away from dark areas esp. when there are not a lot of people around.
Even little kids know this.
I don’t go anywhere after 11 pm by myself — or take stupid shorcuts. Shortcuts in parks and alleys are the worst.
Just because they’re a lot of people around, doesn’t me I’m ’safe’. If anything it’s worse because everyone will be looking at everyone else to see who will help. And yes, Sister Toldja, you do look like a hummus-eating lady thug.
@ SHABOOTY………ROTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFff….nasty ass comment. LMAO
@ Chris “6′3 190 lbs” CAN I GET AT chu’ though?
@brran
Yes, there was a ton of Sidekick snatchings up here last fall. Mostly bad ass teenagers snatching from other teens though. There was also a group of kids who tried to snatch a cell from a grown man who proceeded to take off his belt and whip their asses! Round of applause for him!
Irresponsible white women running by Charles River in Boston is a summer staple here too. Last year there were like 4 rapes all in the same 5 mile stretch along the Charles within a month. And all between the hours of midnight and 4am.
You’d think mo-fo’s would get the point after the first 2 rapes at least!
did you know white people leave their door unlocked to their houses. they also leave their car keys in the ignition while at work. A lady at my job had her purse stolen. She was so shocked, even though she left it in the hallway right by the stairs!
Sista Toldja: “..I will grab my purse and speed up anytime I see White people walking behind me. I will also dart my eyes nervously in their direction and throw them a look of pure horror. This is my little piece of retribution for what they do to the Black man on the daily.”
Oh s@#! I thought I was the only one who did this! I sure as hell do this for the same exact reason. I also don’t like to cross the street when a white person stop their car for me to cross. I think they gonna say, “Got ya black bitch!” and run me over. When I am on the elevator with them I hold on tight to my belongings and constantly give them side looks and check that the zipper on my purse is done up. Gets them every time. Oh how I love my little pieces of retribution
Chris is a vagina tease. Why does he feel the need to mention he is 6′3 and 190lbs in every post. GAWD!
Haha j/k.
my roommate in phoenix would leave the door unlooked all the time…he was a white gay man from south dakota…once, a black man came to the door and he got all nervous…the black guy was a neighbor that had lived in the area longer than my roommate…meanwhile, every bout of vandalism that occurred the neighborhood was later discovered to be a non black person…(and yes, i know there were not alot of black folks in phoenix) but we still somehow managed to find ourselves on the news for some crime…
When I went to UF something like this happened a couple of times. When I used to run around a lake near my apartment complex as I jogged back to my place there would always be some girl on her phone that would never hear me coming until it was too late and they would go batshit crazy. Ridiculous.
Chris, don’t you know that as a black man you can’t run in the dark?! That’s an invitation to get shot.
This was too funny!
I run at night sometimes but I never use my iPod after dark. If I’m on a deserted trail early in the a.m. and I see a shifty looking guy approaching I usually start singing out loud or make other noises to make him think: “crazy black chick — i’m staying away from her.” So far so good.
Sista Toldja: “..I will grab my purse and speed up anytime I see White people walking behind me. I will also dart my eyes nervously in their direction and throw them a look of pure horror. This is my little piece of retribution for what they do to the Black man on the daily.”
I believe sistas every do this. I also make sure to lock my car doors when I see white people…but only after they get close enough to hear.
I also move my purse when they come near me and clutch onto my children. Its funny to see the suprise on thier faces.
Maybe this summer, I will refuse to swim in the pool and will make them drain it all when YT dips thier toe in.
***believe sistas every do this.
Should say “everywhere”
I guess I just look like a hummus eating lady thug.
This happens to you too?! I can’t stand when they do that. I’m like, what? Do you think I’m going to hit you with my bag of organic trail mix?
@ Knatural Your daddy was a wise man in telling you to ‘walk w/ purpose’. In fact the most useful thing I learned in college was that very fact and others during a rape-prevention workshop. Other helpful tips included: stay in well-lite areas, trust your gut if you feel uncomfortable around someone, look the person behind you that may [or may not] be following you In The Eye, and of course the ever-popular: be aware of your surroundings.
I gotta say, that screamer gal might as well have shouted “VICTIM!” She doesn’t stop walking in unlit area’s and acting stupid, she might as well paint a target on the back of her head. [Ok, admit it, you all started to hum "It's the sign of the times" didn't you?]
White people aren’t scared of me because I give them a Kool Aid smile when I see them on the street. They probably think “Oh this is one of those good Negros. She won’t rob me or send her thug boyfriend to my house to rape my pure White daughters” LMAO
I live in the Bay area and my part of town is full to the brim will college students. Everyone knows that you don’t wander around late at night around here because your are likely to get mugged by these bad ass high school kids in the area. But inevitably, Sarah Paulson, Mary Lou Whitey and Becky Jean Spears get mugged and perhaps raped because they were walking by themselves between midnight and 4am.
I got into an argument with a girl about this in class once. She made the same argument as Birah, basically: I shouldn’t be afraid to go where I want to go when I want to go there. I can be wherever I want to be.
I looked her square in the face and said, would you want to be in Fallujah right now? And she says, no of course not. I said why? She’s like, because it’s dangerous. The class snickered but I still don’t think she got it. I hate dumb people. I walk home from work about 15 minutes every Sunday at 10pm and ALWAYS have my boyfriend walk me home. We just broke up (*tears*) but he still walks me back. If I didn’t have him I’d call the BearWalk service where they have a cop walk you home after dark.
Don’t put yourself in a dangerous situation and shit won’t happen to you.
Hahaha, I love to clutch my stuff as though I’m afraid when certain people get too close. Also, wave my hand in front of my face as though they smell. Best though was coughing around groups of people and mentioning how much I loved Hong Kong back when everyone was all “bird flu” “bird flu”!
Yes. I am juvenile. Your point?
Now now, white women is the best uh God’s creations. They should be able tuh walk wherevah they wanna, whenevah they wanna and feel safe as everyone will come to theyah aid in the event that they ah attacked. Now you uppity negroes need tuh stop hating on my white brethren. You need to protect the white woman; she is the most precious resource on our planet. So pure so virginal. So stop whinin’ and carryin on. And you black males need ta stop scarin’ the white woman, you quit joggin at night.
All Praise The Lord White Jesus
Amen
::DEAD::: @ Uncle Ruckus
The point of all these comments is that althougn no woman deserves to get attacked and/or raped she should exercise common sense when out in public.
My homie Uncle Ruckus!!!!!
@Esquire and Sista Toldja, Ya, I do that too. I love locking my car doors when white people pass by, even if they’re already locked.
I love you all. Even you, Ruckus.
CELL PHONES have directly contributed to the cesspool that society has become. I have one for *gasp* emergency purposes only, meaning I DON’T drive with the damn thing upside my head, chatting aimlessly about nothing; DON’T assault strangers’ ears with my long stories about sh*t that shouldn’t be talked about in polite company; and DON’T walk around with that joint on my hip or with one of those ridiculous Bluetooth thingies trying to look important. So, yo, Chris, I feel your pain…and seriously, the yt chick (and others of her ilk) need to be slapped for sheer and utter stupidity. They won’t stop until they’re the feature du jour on Nancy Grace…
I just walk around talking to myself and that usually works. Better crazy and safe I always say
Even worse than people being annoying with their cell phones are people who claim they don’t need them. I despise my friends who say that they don’t want people to be able to reach them everywhere; quite possibly the dumbest shit i’ve ever heard.
“I am 6′3″ tall, I weigh 190lbs, I am already running, and I am armed with knives. I’m not the type of person anyone wants to rape or mug.”
Wrong.
women who cant walk anywhere without having their facocta phones stuck to their f-ing face, are just basically infantile..wahh -they cant go anywhere without being babied on the phone…
if only they were still crawling and crawled right into the tidal basin.
@shabooty
“facocta”? hahahahah, I haven’t heard that in forever.
Miss Cocoa, biting your ear is also an effective way to stave off the crazies.
Dustin- bwahaha! Your comment killed me softly, so I want to dedicate this to you: http://youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU
I’m delicate like a flower.
People need to stay off their fucking cell phones PERIOD. Men, women, children, dogs, whatever. All beings turn into brain-dead cunts when they’re on a cell phone.
1. I am a woman.
2. I am black.
3. I talk on my phone when walking in the dark, but it’s usually to my mother and only because she insists on talking to me until I get in and knowing my exact location every 10 seconds in case the call drops.
4. I am grateful to her for that because if someone does run up and kill me, they probably would have tried even if I wasn’t on the phone, and at least my body will be found quickly because she knew where I was, instead of lying in a ditch for weeks while people think I’m just “missing”.
5. Birah got mad and said that nobody should tell her she was asking for it because she was somewhere she had no business being….
On that note, I am of a different thought process. If you take every precaution to protect yourself but something happens anyway…totally not your fault. If someone you know and trust violates you, totally not your fault. But if you are just dumb or you just didn’t care at the time, if you frequently make out with strangers at bars or parties and get so drunk that you can’t even make a rational decision to save your life or your dignity, then it’s your fault. They were wrong, but it’s your fault. Because if you were jogging with a friend, or at home waiting for the sun to come up, if you were half sober on that first date or at that party, you would’ve been fine. When I am walking by myself at night, I always expect that someone is hiding behind a car or a bush to “get me”, and I’m always ready (even if I’m on the phone). And if they get me, I’m not mad because I’m in their territory. Now, if a fool comes up in my house and robs me, that’s a different story.
7. I used to get pissed off every time my undergraduate school held “sexual assault” education discussions in the middle of Art History class to “educate” us. They always passed out these questionnaires that said, “Is it rape if a man has sex with a woman if she is drunk?” “Is it a woman’s fault if she gets raped while walking down an alley at 3am wearing a string bikini?” “Does a man have an excuse to rape a woman just because they were both drunk?” and then they’d go through the answers with the class. The “obvious” answers were “Yes, no, and no.” But in my mind, the answer was all ways, “Its probably not ok, but why the fuck is she doing that??” I’d then go out and see white girls already wasted at 9pm and on their way to a frat party where they would continue to drink all night and make out with guys, they’re feeling each other up, dry humping on the dance floor, and just because she’s drunk the guy is not supposed to think he can hit? Um…I don’t know what kind of world white women live in, but in the hood, that’s an open invitation. I never understood this.
8. My family continuously warns me against moving into “gentrified” neighborhoods in Atlanta because, as others have said, seems like white women get away with roaming the streets in these areas while fools wouldn’t hesitate to rob my black ass.
9. Chris, I love your blog.
UNCLE RUCKUS!
As a black male from the South, it really is an thing to figure out: Don’t go where you’re going to stand out unless you’re dealing with an especially pacifistic group(ie hippies) and even at that prepare for some possible stupidity.
It’s an easy parallel really. I don’t like to go to unfamiliar places where there are nothing but white people unless I absolutely have to. I won’t get raped but the racism and stares leave a mark. I can’t imagine what it’d be like to be physically violated like these women and my heart goes out to them. At any rate, just don’t put yourselves in dumb situations.
White people are so cavalier when it comes to shit like that, JUST SO THEY CAN TALK ABOUT IT LATER AND BE NON-CHALANT ABOUT HAVING BEEN IN AN INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS PLACE. I live in the rapidly gentrifying Brooklyn, New York and it’s like white people are doing that shit in droves now. I feel like they get mixed messages though, “Don’t be afraid of us, but also don’t live in our neighborhoods.” I smell blog…Chris are you listening?
God, that was non-linear, I should stop replying while drinking…
“Don’t be afraid of us, but also don’t live in our neighborhoods.”
That isn’t a mixed message, that is a damn clear signal.
Do yall hear that, White people? Don’t be afraid of me, but stay yo’ ass out of Bedford Stuyvesant! It’s not that hate you, it’s that I love my hood and as soon as too many of y’all start meandering around, the powers that be on that bullshit start trying to find ways to get me and mine out! Can’t we all just get along from the comfort of our respective neighborhoods?
True story- I went to look at an apartment being shown by this White guy in Crown Heights, Brooklyn. I would have been his roommate. This cat described the neighborhood as having a “ghetto fabulous charm”, and said