Figure 1: Ethiopia
It’s no secret to those who know me that I fucking love Ethiopian women. I would happily run over my best friends with a choo-choo train just to get a good look at an attractive Ethiopian woman. Kinda ironic that I’m about to rake them over the coals…
Fuck it.
I’ve been somewhat embittered against Ethiopians, the women in particular, ever since a particular Ethiopian bartender did the following:
- Kept smiling at and eyefucking me for a good five minutes
- Sent another bartender to tell me I should talk to her (I was drunk and didn’t recognize the flirtation)
- Proceeded to chat me up for 30 fucking minutes; laughing, smiling, punching me in the arm
- Told me, after all this time, that she would not give me her number because “you’re too much of a pretty boy, you’re a player.”
As an entrepreneur, nothing enrages me more than when strangers waste my time - especially my free time. This heifer from the east cost me 30 minutes of company with my good friends the Admiral Furious, Chicken Jon, Shabooty, and other colorful characters. I became even more enraged about three weeks later when I returned to the bar and found her hugged up on a white dude who, for lack of a better description, looked like the upper half of my dick. I don’t claim to be a great looking guy, but I’ll be damned if I don’t know ugly when I see it…and this motherfucker was, on his best day, a billy goat.
Figure 2: Ethiopian girl and her white boyfriend…or at least how I remember them
Ethiopians freak black Americans (BAs) out more than any other type of continental African (CA). Like BAs and CAs, Ethiopians came from Africa at some point, but that’s where the similarities end. They are an enigmatic people - seen in public far more frequently than CAs, but left bizarrely out of social reach. While BAs and CAs are often seen in the company of one another, it is a rare thing to see Ethiopians in mixed company. In fact, it is rare to see an Ethiopian outside of a parking garage or a taxi cab - two industries upon which they retain an eternal east African kung fu grip that, amazingly, has never EVER been broken - not even by the Mob.
If you get up the nerve to speak to a group of Ethiopians, they silently select a ring leader. The ring leader will talk to you in a weird but hot accent while the rest of them pretend to have no idea what the fuck is going on. Every few sentences, the ring leader will turn around and say something to the rest of the pack in Ethiopian as if she is translating. What she is really saying is “I’ll bet his family owns only three taxi cabs, yes?” This explains why the Ethiopians always laugh/giggle at all these ‘translations’, even when the last thing you said to the ring leader was “Yea, the cancer’s terminal.”
Their mysterious nature coupled with their odd financial prowess has led some BAs* to refer to Ethiopians as the Jews of Niggerdom.
Physically, Ethiopians tend to have a bizarre olive/caramel complexion, sunken eyes, wavy hair, massive foreheads (like mine) and, for whatever sick reason in my mind, they bear a vague semblance to ancient Egyptian mummies. Each has a look as if he/she is the product of two people, one from the Ivory Coast and one from Italy, who slammed into each other while running at full speed and formed a single person. It didn’t work out so well for the men, but most of the women are absolutely fucking goddamn drop dead gorgeous.
Figure 3: Beyonce could look like this, but instead she decided to be a sellout cock-whore
Maybe I’m bitter. So fucking what. You’d be bitter too if you had to put up with this shit:
Figure 3: I hope Dan Snyder’s sons are born with chocolate cocks on a hot day
* Me
i know! ethiopian girls ARE gorgeous, huh?
poor, chris…better luck next time!
As someone living in the United Kingdom, I kinda sorta know what you are saying, but really what pisses me off with Ethiopians is their haughtiness. There is no one who is prouder than these cats.
It is funny because they often think I am from Ethiopia or Somalia but altough their women look nice, I love inner beauty in a woman and this pride they come up with is a turn off.
I once had the courage to ask one of them why they were arrogant and he replied that they are pretty. This dude is now bald.
Chris, you love them, you do not really hate them.
I tell you were I used to go to the University of London they like hanging round the Institute of Education and all Africans would interact but they would only speak to other Eriterians and Ethiopians.
During the Gulf War, the were Eriterians who were running the Africa centre bar, a dude from Zimbabwe asked them why they did not support Saddam Husein given that they were Arabs, they banned him from the bar for ten years.
At least Ethiopians know they are Black because Somalians and Sudanese deny point blank that they are Black.
I got confused for being Ethiopian on a few occasions, considering my very Americanized name. At my small part time job back home, most of the staff I work with are Ethiopian women/girls my age and I must agree it is aggravating being led on so hard just to fall flat on your face.
Once again Chris, just like interaction with attractive women, knocking over stands, not paying attention during basketball games, I feel your pain.
I’ve never commented this high. There’s nothing worse than what you described though - finding someone that was in your jock with a lesser, more primal being the following week, and that goes for all races, not just Ethiopians.
Every Ethopian woman that I have ever seen was beautiful.
After 5 years in DC, I had a love/hate relationship with Ethiopians and Eritreans. They always thought I was one of them (I don’t see it( and would get really excited and start speaking Amaric (SP?) or exclaim “ARE YOU ETHIOPIAN????” This makes about as much sense as me grabbing a chick from the Marcy Projects wearing a Baby Phat coat and yelling out “Nigga, you Black?!?!” I got asked to join a Myspace group or something called “The Dopest Ethiopians”, on which the moderator declared that everyone (presumably “regular Black folks”) wanted to be them. A lady in the Student Loan Office at my school insisted that I was Ethiopian, Somalian or Ertitrean and I “just didn’t know where I came from”, like my parents just found me in a cabbage patch or something.
Ethiopian women are mad pretty, so I hated on them a wee bit, not even gonna lie. Some Ethiopian men were kinda hot too, but they were too aggressive as African men tend to be. They will grab your arm or yell “GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER NOW”, which is a bit of a panty drier. Plus the whole jaundice eye thing was a turn-off.
I had the most bizarre and unnerving sexual experience with an Ethiopian man and I don’t think I will ever go down that road again. It still gives me nightmares.
African men ARE agressive! and it’s like they have a radar that helps them sniff me out or something. i could be in a room filled with 300 other people, and I swear, that one African man will find the one me and follow me the hell around til last call.
But i digress…
Sorry people I got excited over Ethiopian women I forgot the business transaction.
http://stuffgirlslike.wordpress.com
I heard from my brothers and mum the ethiopans are making hell in the UK
- http://www.anythingblack.net
I love this blog because I can always count on getting a good chuckle!
Sista Toldja- you are hilarious!!
” They will grab your arm or yell “GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER NOW”, which is a bit of a panty drier. Plus the whole jaundice eye thing was a turn-off. ”
Seriously though why are the African men so aggressive?
once, my obviously gay cousin was approached by an african man while she was waiting for the bus
he asked for her number
she said no
he asked again
she said no (again) told him that she liked chicks
he (literally) banged his fist on his chest and said
“MY NAME’S MALIK. YOU CALL ME!”
African men AND West Indian men. Please don’t get me started. Grr.
I don’t know much about Ethiopians, or Africans in general, but on my first trip to DC for the TRB conference, it was me, a girl from Haiti and a girl from Ghana in one room. For some reason on trips like those the races stick together, Chinese, Indian, Greek all kept a closed circle (save for when I was hangin’ out with my Indian friend- I guess cause of him some Indian chef thought I was Indian). Anyway, we three became thick as thieves. Apparently there’s a huge Ghana connection in DC ’cause folks this girl had never met were helpin us out left and right. Takin’ us out to dinner, driving us to the airport, sightseeing, etc. They have a tight social connection. I don’t know and have never met (that I know of) any Ethiopians. But from my interaction, folks from Ghana are the nicest. As for aggressive African dudes, none of the ones from Ghana were.
Oh hold up. Back when I was in high school my mom dated some African dude. Guy was nuts. A) he would constantly pronounce Kirkman Rd. “KeekMan” and B) go apeshit hollering about “you American black women” whenever you corrected his nutty ass. Needless to say, she dropped him like a rock. And I’ve no clue where he was from.
Ethiopians! Living in DC, where Ethies (my pet name for them) are the second largest ‘ethnic’ group, I always had a love/hate relationship with them. And if you go to any Caribbean/West Indian party, you’ll see them. I used to, and still do sometimes, get mistaken for one, especially when I had a perm (ironic). Random Ethies will greet me in Tigrinya, and I’ll like, huh, English! Damnit. I never understood it, I don’t have those wide Ethiopian hips.
I hope Dan Snyder’s daughters have chocolate clits on a hot day, that way the Ethiopian tribe wont have to be the ones doing the clit mutilating.
“I hope Dan Snyder’s daughters have chocolate clits on a hot day, that way the Ethiopian tribe wont have to be the ones doing the clit mutilating.”
You need a fucking CAT scan.
Damn Ethiopians…like yourself Chris, I admit to having a certain…fondness of Ethipoian chicks (even though that country has not made advances in dentistry since the great famine) and I find them insufferable in social situations. White cats get full entree to Ethipian women even if they are mindless, beer swigging hillbillies. Brothers are sure to get blown off, maybe we have too many teeth and dental floss. I can’t call it. Okay, maybe I’m a tad jealous…
i would, but i am afraid the cat scan technician would probably be Ethiopian
Surge is great Shabooty. cat scans are not. Black people are great, so is soup, so are large booties….whereas croc shoes are not. Why in the hell are men wearing crocs by the way? Doesn’t directly relate to Ethiopians, but thinking of my mild anger at them after reading this blog made me think of friggin crocs…
Chris-Kept smiling at and eyefucking me for a good five minutes
Sent another bartender to tell me I should talk to her (I was drunk and didn’t recognize the flirtation)
Proceeded to chat me up for 30 fucking minutes; laughing, smiling, punching me in the arm
Told me, after all this time, that she would not give me her number because “you’re too much of a pretty boy, you’re a player.”
IN A SPORT ANNOUNCER VOICE..
DENIED!!!!!!! REJECTED!!!!!!
AHAHHA
but yea i feel ya in the ring leader bit shit is to funny. I have this friend who is Ethiopian. And she as fine as hell. PPl were so jealous of her back in high school because she was think in all the right places, long beautiful black hair and great skin. But she loved BA’s and hung out owth CA’s as well, maybe because she was americanized and didnt just come off the boat.
Sister T- Ethiopian women are mad pretty, so I hated on them a wee bit, not even gonna lie. Some Ethiopian men were kinda hot too, but they were too aggressive as African men tend to be. They will grab your arm or yell “GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER NOW”, which is a bit of a panty drier. Plus the whole jaundice eye thing was a turn-off.
girl you never lie I swear! I know exactly what you mean. Like I use to talk to this one ethiopian dude and he was hellllllaaaaa sexy I mean he had these beautiful brown skin and eyes and a smile to die for. But he would sweat me like everyday and called me everyday he was on my non-exsisting nuts like shit! So I had to cut him off.
@ maya: Whats wrong with West Indian men?
I haven’t come across too many Ethiopian women here in Baltimore. But the one I saw looked like she got into a bar fight with a gang of feral cats. Add clitoral mutilation to that mix and ya boy will just stay with his black, West Indian and Spanish women.
I’m Caribbean and in my experience Caribbean men in general are assertive, but there are certain islands that produce a whole next level of aggression… for example Jamaica… Jamaican men who approach you are going to talk to you like they’re entitled to your number and you, the medium, are getting in the way.
I haven’t personally found any African men but West African men aggressive. Those guys will come up to you in the club with a straight face, serious as hell, demanding you give them your number but something about that intense look in their eyes and you somehow know that Kofi, Olu or John (lol) trying to lock you down and marry you.
But anyway, I have quite a few West African men I’m cool with, and I don’t believe any of them would approach a womon like that, and when you think about only aggressive/assertive men tend to approach in clubs (or maybe that’s just me only attracting the psychos) so we’re bound to get the more come on too strong guys out of any nationality/ethnicity/group.
Shabooty, your existance scares me a little bit.
@ Above Average- Ha-ha. That’s what you get. Who said you are entitled to Ethio women any way. Is your momma Ethio? I am gonna start a movement for every single woman in the country to start dating White men. Not me though (vomit noises). All that “Ethiopian women are the baddest” shit used to get on my nerves in DC. I would like to offfically ask Ethiopian women to leave African American over 6′0 alone, and they can have all of their men back. I kid, I kid. They are still sisters, no beef with them.
Out of curiosity, do Ethio men get mad when their women deal with non-Ethio men? They seem like they would get HOT about that. Or are Black women the only ones who are possesive over our counterparts?
anyone else mix up ethiopians and somalians?
what what am i the crazy one?
Still laughing about the “eye fucking” comment. Don’t you hate when ppl that you are NOT attracted to do that? *shudders and gags*
Plus the whole jaundice eye thing was a turn-off.
Sister T just makes my day sometimes.
@ Shabooty: Nah. I get em mixed up all the time. Technically they are the same people, some idiot just drew a line down the middle of the country and split it in half.
hmmm i have been guilty of eyefucking bwhahahah
and only one had a black hawk down.
mrs. epps - you must have loose-eyelids.
AHMAUAHAHAHAHAA
“Or are Black women the only ones who are possesive over our counterparts?”
I dunno sis. According to most of the comments in the last post, black women think you’re a scrub if you’re under 5′ 11″, have less than an 8″ - 10″ fleshrod, and aren’t built like an athlete (which, according to Esquire at least, are in remarkably abundant supply).
To paraphrase Mr. Rock: I’m not sayin’ that black dudes should date out…but I understaaannnnnnnd.
LMAO@ Shabooty…NooooooooooO
“…less than an 8″ - 10″ fleshrod…”
Omg! I almost spit out the water I was drinking all over my desk.
“Or are Black women the only ones who are possesive over our counterparts?”-Sister Toldja. I think inherently we all want to mate with someone who ‘looks like us’, but personally I’m not possessive of Black men. I can’t have them all anyway! If Black men want to date White women, Latin women, anybody, I no care. My assumption is that Ethies don’t care, overall.
@FHJ - so true about Jamaicans. Other islands like Trinidad/Tobago, Bermuda, Antigua seem to produce a more laid-back breed of West Indian male. Maybe I’m biased since I married one
I was kidding toldja, I am completely about A.A. sisters, but Chris’ description of what many folks want is kind of accurate. I want to be an intellectual brother who can walk around the house with a diaper on and a bowler on my head and know that sisters can appreciate my complex, sometimes idiotic ways an love me all the same…alas, I may not measure up to the essence cover boy standards
Asians chicks, BA women with funny names or straight hair, girls who don’t wear high heels, Ethiopian chicks, I’m eagerly awaiting the next group that you manage to cockblock yourself with.
“Asians chicks, BA women with funny names or straight hair, girls who don’t wear high heels, Ethiopian chicks, I’m eagerly awaiting the next group that you manage to cockblock yourself with.”
Haha, I’ve at least made an concerted effort with all but one of those groups (chicks that refuse to ever wears heels are little Satans).
I am admittedly a bridge burner…but what the hell do I care?
Hi Esquire! You are my starship!
LOL@ Chris- Let the record reflect that the majority (me) stated that brothers only need be tall for TALL women. All these short women out here (ahem, Maya) are doing y’all a disservice by acting brand new. Someone needs to start a campaign for more Munchkin on Munckin Love, maybe Al Sharpton can squeeze that in between his perm appointments and meetings with the stripper council of greater Harlem.
RE: Penises. Most women would prefer them larger, as most men prefer large asses and nice breasts. At the end of the day though, so long as your junk works well, we’re gonna be okay with it. The “clit dicks” don’t get so much love from the sisters, but undoubtebly there is a 500 pound White woman who will love it anyway.
@ brran1 -
I find West Indian men to suffer the same affliction of arrogance and rudeness that many African men do. It has been my experience with W. Indian men that they are too forward and presumptuous, and African men too imposing and sexist. I dated a W. Indian before and all I kept hearing about was “that’s what’s wrong with you American chicks.” Granted, one does not speak for all, btu I have also engaged in many-a-discourse with people who are first generation African or W. Indian, and all they talk about is how much they are discouraged from socializing with American born Blacks. The only thing that prevents me from dropkicking most people is that I see the “divide and conquer” tactics of White America, and how pervasive the preferential treatment given to immigrant Blacks over American born in the early part of the 20th century has been to the consciousness of Blacks today. But I swear, if I didn’t minor in African American studies…there would be many more ignorant statements to leave my mouth. That’s why education is important; it provides insight into the simpleness of others.
“The “clit dicks” don’t get so much love from the sisters…”
Ew.
Sister T-LOL@ Chris- Let the record reflect that the majority (me) stated that brothers only need be tall for TALL women. All these short women out here (ahem, Maya) are doing y’all a disservice by acting brand new. Someone needs to start a campaign for more Munchkin on Munckin Love, maybe Al Sharpton can squeeze that in between his perm appointments and meetings with the stripper council of greater Harlem.
RE: Penises. Most women would prefer them larger, as most men prefer large asses and nice breasts. At the end of the day though, so long as your junk works well, we’re gonna be okay with it. The “clit dicks” don’t get so much love from the sisters, but undoubtebly there is a 500 pound White woman who will love it anyway.
DEAD@ clit dick and Munchkin on Munchkin Love bwhahahahahahha
ST - We settle this yesterday. Negroes love to rehash…
I AM NOT A MUNCHKIN. Although I’ve been told more times than I care to admit that i have a Napoleon complex. Not true, I say. I like being short. And loud. Also, being that I’m small, that 8-10″ shit is just not gonna work unless you like hearing cries of agony.
“…unless you like hearing cries of agony.”
Shabooty?
ATTENTION SISTER T:
I NEED TO HEAR ABOUT THIS POSTHASTE—>
maya-I like short and loud chicks there fun to party with
Sheeeeit-I am 1st generation WI and I married a Black American. I would not make a suitable wife for the average WI male.
Mrs. Epps - I think you, me and ST need a play date.
Yes, I am that girl at a party who talks to random strangers. There have been many instances that my BFF and I have seen brothas with white girls and said something smart like, “You can always come home.” Then she’ll chime in with, “We’ll leave the light on for you, sir.” Or will engage in word-sparring with some random boy, though decidedly will not give them my phone number, give them a friendly wink and a “goodbye” and keep it moving. I haven’t escalated to dancing on top of couches/chairs/bars, yet, but if I’m with my line sisters, I WILL commence to party walking. The impetus for this behavior is unknown, as it is often very sporadic depending on how jolly I feel, but usually in the summer time at coonfests (a.k.a. BBQs) it knows no limits.
women are like sweat beads on the base of my scroti….always forming, never lacking, when they cum together -they glisten, and they attract dirtballs.
$
Aaah the great Habesha post. Cause I’m sure you don’t think the Hamer, Mursi or Konso women are hot.
I like your blog though…..very HumanityCritic-ish….
I have been reading this blog for that past few weeks. Great job Chris. I really enjoy your writing and opinions.
On Ethiopians, I totally agree. My ex started messing with an Ethiopian RIGHT after we broke up (I’m sure there was some overlap). So, I don’t mess with them. Maybe I’m just a hater…
On CAs, I messed with an African boxer for a few weeks. What the fuck was I thinking? I had to let that go quick. He was fine but crazy…moving on…
So my brother, a regular old BA, has a thing for Ethiopian and Brazilian girls. However, whenever he tries to holler, he’s told that he can’t “afford” these women. He was once told, point blank, “Everyone knows American blacks are broke.”
Word? You can’t afford immunizations and shoes and HE’S the broke one? Bitch, please, go park my car. . .
So that is why I assume your sexy bartender was hugged up with “the upper half of you dick” . . . apparently, white = paid. . .
On the other hand, I get a alot of CA holler, Ethiopian and otherwise. I must have a “will give citizenship for marriage and disease” sign on my ass. . .
Mrs. Kennedy - my friend and I just had this convo about Africans the other day… I died twice after your comment.
Unfortunately, many foreign born women are of the mindset that Black Americans are broke.
After all, America is a stratified society and American Blacks are at the bottom in many people’s minds in many things including the list of most desireable mates.
Okkkk Uhura. You asked for it:
Picture this- Washington, DC, 2003. It was the 2nd semester of my freshman year at Howard. I am excited to be away from home and feeling like a woman. Also, I am stupid.
I meet an attractive older Ethopian man, yadda, yadda, yadda. “I’m not dizzy/it’s time to get busy….” as KRS would say. And the guy is going down South, which was extra exciting to me at 18, of course. And…..I think I have Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome about this still…. HE BIT ME. HARD. Like I was an apple. HARD.
Quick Query: Are any of the men here averse to messing with a chick who is missing her cl*t?
maya-Yes, I am that girl at a party who talks to random strangers. There have been many instances that my BFF and I have seen brothas with white girls and said something smart like, “You can always come home.” Then she’ll chime in with, “We’ll leave the light on for you, sir.” Or will engage in word-sparring with some random boy, though decidedly will not give them my phone number, give them a friendly wink and a “goodbye” and keep it moving. I haven’t escalated to dancing on top of couches/chairs/bars, yet, but if I’m with my line sisters, I WILL commence to party walking. The impetus for this behavior is unknown, as it is often very sporadic depending on how jolly I feel, but usually in the summer time at coonfests (a.k.a. BBQs) it knows no limits.
bwhahahah hell yea! but I have escalated to dancing on top of couches,chairs, bars and pool tables and then sometimes falling out of bar tools and being loud for no good reason and making fun of ppl I see and start speaking spanglish damn that tequila. Back when i was in florida I had so much fun with my old dirty ass roomates and friends acting like a white girl screaming out the car at random pp while i was drunkand smoking some weed. Ah the good ol freshman and sophmore yrs of college **sheds tear** ;-)…not to mention the uncontrolable hiccups at the bar drinking underage when i was 19 and still to this day do since i dont trun 21 til november.
“my BFF and I have seen brothas with white girls and said something smart like, “You can always come home.” Then she’ll chime in with, “We’ll leave the light on for you, sir”
AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! That’s BRILLIANT! And we most certainly need to hang out!
@ Toldja
Oh sweet fucksticks, that is grounds for shooting. What was wrong with him? It’s not chewing gum down there, after all.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAH @ “women are like sweat beads on the base of my scroti….always forming, never lacking, when they cum together -they glisten, and they attract dirtballs.’ -Shabooty (who else)
Habesha, yes, that’s the term. Thank you Bloop.
Oh.My.God @ Sister Toldja - like an apple?!?! What in the bloody hell!??!
Dude, what the hell, for real. *shivers*
And Maya, why are you and your friends harassing men at the club? AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA
Don’t you know how sensitive men are? Was he ’short’, too?
@ Mrs. Kennedy –Word? You can’t afford immunizations and shoes and HE’S the broke one? Bitch, please, go park my car. . .
My soul is officially DESTROYED!!
HE BIT ME. HARD. Like I was an apple. HARD.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, sis t!!! I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!!!! the shit is fucking traumatizing
Sister T! he fucking bit you like a damn apple??!!! OMGGGGGGGGG I woulda choked him with my legs so he would let go and then snap his neck!
@ knaturalbeauty - lol, i don’t remember. i’ve said it so many times at this point it’s all a blur. but i consider myself an equal-opportunity hater. lol. and i don’t “harass,” per se, although i’ve heard some men talk about they’re “scared” of me which is so entertaining because i’m so unintimidating physically. this mouth of mine is gonna get me in trouble one day. it usually draws the attention of people much bigger than me. big men always wanna rub my arm…grr.
@ ST - yes…finals are breaking my back. i can def. arrange a trip to NY soon. you can teach me how to the bra-less hippie chic look, too.
Dag, this posting in the morning isn’t working for me. I usually don’t start playing around until after lunch at work.
Anyhow, most CAs I know think that BAs are worthless pieces of crap. I have several CA friends (from being in grad school) and it never amazes me some of the stupid things they can say about BAs. It also funny that once they get to know you you can somehow not be seen as a BA in their eyes (white people will do this too–get a Ph.D., J.D. or M.D. and clearly you have a skin disorder cuz you sho ain’t Black) and they are genuinely shocked when you cuss them out for making blanket statements that insult you as a BA. I don’t see the overwhelming beauty of Ethiopian women that people speak of…there are some cute ones for sure, but I’ve never been in awe…
@Maya- you know I love you, but leave my damn W.I. men alone. I’ll help them get it together one day, I promise.
LOL @ Tam - we’ve talked about this. I can’t business. In fact, I’m almost rude with it now cause I blatantly told someone the other day “I don’t date west indian men” and he was trying hard. Bless his heart.
bra-less hippie look…hahah I havent wore a bra in like 4 months hahahaha I just wear my built in bra tank top under everything now and i freakin love it.. i put my bra on a few days ago and it hurt liek shit and i said f it and took it off and threw it across the room bwhahaha
awww… Figure 3. Liya Kebede. Shes my fav African model. Shes even covered American VOGUE twice. Once by herself. That is a REALLY big deal.
If it makes you feel better Chris she married a fellow Ethiopian-not a white man, and they had two beautiful children together…
I know the stereotype of W.I. and African men is that they’re chauvinistic, domineering, aggressive, so on, but I’ve never observed it or felt it. My experience has been the opposite, wherein they are more open-minded, intelligent, and tolerant (of me) than Black American men. Maybe it boils down to ‘you teach others how to treat you’, possibly. Maybe it depends on the country of origin, maybe it’s really just upbringing and exposure, which can be said about any man, that impacts their attitudes toward Black American women.
@ ST…
WOW…yeah that is definitely a move you “ask” about beforehand.
@ grimm -
i was actually just talking about her the other day in class. i think she’s beautiful…but vogue has a lot of shit with is, though i am not discrediting her appearance on the magazine. even still, vogue will continue to rehash safe views of “blackness” and black femininity. she’s african, but she has features that are within the european standards of beauty. just like beyonce her ever-lightning ass is on everything. im not saying being fair makes you less black, or having long hair makes you less black, but im not celebrating just yet.
damn Africans. we all know a few.
Toldja, i too have been bitten by an African. i think he was trying to perform some at home version of Genital Mutilation surgery on me.
Man, my eyes still water when I think about it. That was MY Vietnam, you know?
Maya- definitely come up here this summer. I’m not shopping at the moment, because I am between sizes. We can tear the mall up in July though.
I agree with Maya. Nobody says Alek Wek is beautiful.
LMAO - “i think he was trying to perform some at home version of Genital Mutilation surgery on me.”
and
“That was MY Vietnam, you know?”
Yall are fucking with my money AGAIN.
And yes, ST - I’ll facebook you my cell. We can play. LOL @ the July date…so far from now. That’s fine - we can find some TALL non-ragged black men in the mean time.
wtf? ya’ll making play dates on here?
I think all random men I come across are unusually aggressive, much like when I was walking to CVS the other day and dude walking behind me was like “dang girl, you make me wanna make love like a teddy bear.”
A teddy bear though? Word?
Maybe it’s just cause I’m in PG though.
I agree maya..the “black” women on the cover of magazines are always either beyonce or some lightskinned chick. What’s up with that. I think Alek Wek is beautiful even more than Liya Kebede. I wish that magazines would show more blackberry color women on their covers because they are just as beautiful shit way better looking than Beyonce’s forever lion king mane wearing skin bleaching ass. Beyonce is over-rated and I’m so done with her ass.
Okay, hold up. Ethiopians accept genital mutilation for real? ::shudder:: I can NOT wrap my brain around the whole chopping off of the clit, that bit of flesh is my dearest personal treasure and if I had to live my life without it …. what would be left? Buttsex? Giving the beejer? Buying a new bag and some gorgeous shoes every week of my life?
Seriously, anyone who advocates that NEEDS to get over here so that I can line them up for a running nutkick on a daily basis.
@ Tamara
LMAO - “dang girl, you make me wanna make love like a teddy bear.”
Was that supposed to do something for you?
African men AND West Indian men. Please don’t get me started. Grr.
maya- i feel you on this one. i had a nigerian date tell me, ON THE FIRST DATE, my hips would suffice in bearing his children. what the hell?!
I feel ya Tamara I think I ran in to his cousin who use the same line..Rolls eyes. I too am in PG
“i feel you on this one. i had a nigerian date tell me, ON THE FIRST DATE, my hips would suffice in bearing his children. ”
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
@ Mrs. Kennedy “Word? You can’t afford immunizations and shoes and HE’S the broke one? Bitch, please, go park my car. . .”
that line right there is CLASSIC.
Keep the blogs coming. Reading this blog has become the first I do when I turn on my computer at work. Company emails…go kick rocks somewhere I need my morning dose of Chris in the morning (pause, no homo or whatever else can be used to explain the phrase)
benjie, an African approached me once with “How many kids do you have? Are you married?” i mean, it was a breath of fresh air compared to “Yo ma!” and “Sweetheart, sweetheart!” but really? how many kids do i have?
@Bailey: man, I don’t know, I just started at him in utter (and nervous disbelief, wasn’t trying to get shot) and the watched him run across East West HWY on a green light…
@Mrs. Epps: I’m glad you feel my pain, prolly was his brother though.
hahaha your hips would be suffice in bearing his children!! the fuck outta here dude…My ex is from Liberia and he said some shit like that to me the 1st time we had sex I was like umm wtf and laughed it off. Dude was crazy. Like when we would have company over her would get on me for serving the same amount of food as everyone. He said that in his culture that the man of the house gets the big plate of food and everyone else gets less. im like what the fuck NIGawWW we are in america and in my culture everyone get the same amount so STFU!! and he was telling me how he wanted us to move to Liberian and live in his old fathers house. His dad Marcus is like this well known congressmen over there or some ish like that and said I would have to work ever again and I’ll have to do is have his 5 children and something about him going to have another wife. IM LIKE WTFFFFFFFFF thank god we broke up my ass would be in africa sunburned like shit, with no flat iron, and no starbucks or chinese carry out **CRIEs!
You guys are great. I’m gonna get fired in NO TIME!
You know, I had a brother tell me once that Alek Wek was not only ugly, but that White people knew she was ugly and that they put her on magazine covers as a sly joke!!!! Insane. Ms. Kibede is definitely a beautiful girl, but we probably wouldn’t know who she was if she didn’t have somewhat European features. Same as with most Black models.
Pretty Ghetto County, eh? Worst nine months of my life, I lived in Cypress Creek in Hyattsville (known as the Howard Plaza Towers North, lol). I cant get with deer and beauty supply stores in the same hood. Let’s not even mention the shooting in my parking lot. If I have to live in such proximity to gun violence, then I need a bodega on my corner and and a bootleg man as well.
run across east-west HWY??!! bwhahahahahaha he gonna get his ass hit!! cuz if i was driving that day and saw him i would prob hit him on purpose for being a dumbass and woulda kept it moving.
@ AceKlub - what frat?
To Mrs. Epps, Maya, and Knaturalbeauty-
That is just the way the industry works. Many people do not consider Black people to be consumers, so they do not advertise to them. And we have all heard that Blacks do not sell covers. That is probably why the industry is turning to using more racially ambiguous poeple like Brazilians instead.
In any case im happy. Liya got a solo cover and Chanel Iman (google her) has done VOGUE and Teen VOGUE covers. Joudan Dunn did over 200 shows last season and did Prada (1st black i 10 years) so there is improvement. There are even two Asian regulars (Hye Park and Du Juan) Have you seen the GAP ads with Du and Chanel???
That progress makes me happy very happy. You dont understand the crappy jobs I get sent to or little our agents work for us… Our noses arent photogenic. We have no bone struckture. Our hair isnt managable. Blah blah blah. Its bad enough to have black people making you feel bad for not having the stereotypical body, but having to try ten times harder than euro girls with squarebacks that all look the same makes you feel low. We are never pretty enough. Not to our own people or to anyone else-except old pervy men at Marquee.
If it werent for Seventeen, Cosmo, and Essence we’d all be stuck in music videos, Black Men and Hype Hair.
And Beyonce was never dark skinned. Ever. lol
@ Mrs. Epps: ..”Beyonce’s forever lion king mane wearing skin bleaching ass.”
Oh !@#$! Her hair does remind me of lion king-type of hair. Y’all gonna get me in trouble laughing so loud at work. Oh well. I wanted to go home early anyway
ST-Pretty Ghetto County, eh? Worst nine months of my life, I lived in Cypress Creek in Hyattsville (known as the Howard Plaza Towers North, lol). I cant get with deer and beauty supply stores in the same hood. Let’s not even mention the shooting in my parking lot. If I have to live in such proximity to gun violence, then I need a bodega on my corner and and a bootleg man as well.
I lived off Adelphi Rd…and shit was no joke over there. THe police were in my parking lot every other night. One night me and my homeboys where sitting on the stoop smoking a blunt and we saw this cop car roll pass and we all jumped up and was gonna head inside to my apt. Not even 5 seconds later the cop(who was black) came runnign down the street and stopped us and was like what are you doing out here he asked me 1st of all ppl I was like damn and told him that I lived there and was getting some fresh air is that a crime? damn my smart ass mouth while under the influence and while sober as well. He told me cut the attitude and go inside. Make a long story short. My hommies got tickets for drinking alcohol in public and my girlfriend got arrested for mouhting off. DAMN PG pigs! Well now I live in Upper Marlboro int he rich black neighborhood in silence..blah boring..but atleast I can walk out my house with out getting harrassed by the horny homeless guy
I’m half ethi and am not working it w the coveted silk to my back (tear) but DEFT got stuck w the FUCKIN FO’HEAD from the HORN….PLEASE BELIEVE I WAS ON THE FLOOR LAUGHIN my ass off. CHRIS you made some incredibly on point observations!
I CANT STAND ETHIOPIANS for the most part
@ sister toldja- I’m sooo sorry boo. Ethiopian Men repulse me…thus i’ve never had the nightmarish pleasure? B/c “he bit me. HARD. Like i was an apple.” IS So something i imagined ethi men would do. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. ROTF
Also, I have to agree with you in terms of Ethiopians women being beautiful ladies. I find myself fawning over them after I ignore the whole forehead thing.
I would have to say that Cape Verdean women and Ethiopians women are at the top of my list.
east africans are the most beautiful girls on the planet. hands down. well…