There are exactly five categories of asian women in America*:
- Ones that only date asian people (35%)
- Ones that only date white people (35%)
- Ones that will date outside their race, but only if they’re white (20%)
- Ones that freely date anyone of any race (1%)
- Ones that date anyone of any race, but consider it a public service (9%)
Category 5 is the one I’m going to jump up and down on today.
I’ve had the pleasure (and misfortune) of dating exactly four asian women, one of whom I nearly married. My skin color left me eligible only to the ten percent in categories 4 and 5, and unfortunately only one of them was in category 4.
The one category 4 girl had a hard life growing up. Both her parents were killed in Vietnam while trying to escape the country during the war. As such, this girl grew up with a very low bullshit tolerance that, among many other things, kept her from being willing to filter her dating pool based on race. She also views the war as the fault of white people - so unlike many asian females, she never bought into the idea of superiority of the white male (see Subtle Racism I)***.
Figure 1: You prefer THIS GUY over an asian dude?!?!?!?!?
The other three chicks were category 5’s. Being slow as I am sometimes, I didn’t even realize that category 5 existed until fairly recently when I unexpectedly found myself with a lot of free time to think. I know there are some black men reading this blog that are dating asian women. I hope I’m not blowing up your spot or anything, but take a moment to examine the following warning signs that you might be dating a Cat 5:
- She tells you that none of her friends date black people
- She tells you she had apprehensions about dating black people
- She tells you her parents don’t approve of her dating you
- She tells you about how often she defends her relationship with you to her parents and/or friends
Granted, there’s nothing wrong with a girl telling you these things in and of themselves. There’s also nothing wrong with the girl telling you these things if you happen to ask. What’s wrong about these statements is her motivation in telling you when she does so a.) for no apparent reason, or b.) when you get in an argument with her.
All four of the statements above have a single sentence as their lowest common denominator:
“I am doing your black ass a favor by being so kind as to date you.”
This statement is two parts racist, one part hubris. I’ve dated women of every race on the planet (except for middle-easterners), and my experience has been that this “doing you a favor” attitude is held ONLY by Cat 5 asian women. This can be blamed on exactly three things:
- White men
- Jim Kelly
- Viacom
White dudes have been obsessed with asian women ever since the occupation of Japan after WWII. Japanese women were an exotic, submissive, and a swanky alternative to Rosie-inspired American women who were justifiably asserting more and more independence and putting up with less and less bullshit.
Figure 2: Personally…I’ll take Rosie.
Cold War conflicts in Korea, Vietnam, Laos, and Cambodia gave them even more yellow fever as refugees poured into the U.S. and made them easily accessible. Today, an asian woman is the most highly coveted prize of a white man, which is ironic because of how easy it is for them to obtain this prize. Asian girls will date virtually ANY white dude no matter how ugly he is and no matter how much of a jerk he is; the only thing that matters is that he’s white and a yuppie. For white people, finding an asian woman to date is like finding water in the ocean.
Black men have never been obsessed with asian women; it’s been more of a fascination. It started with Jim Kelly in Enter the Dragon - specifically the scene with him lounging around in his kung fu pimp hut with a flock of hot asian chicks from Hai Phong or some shit (anybody else find it fucked up that the only black character in Enter the Dragon was lynched?).
Figure 3: God hates you.
Anyhow, Viacom took over after that. Every tritely sexual black music video since 1994 has included semi-nude asian girls (or black girls with ‘chinky eyes’) re-enacting the kung fu pimp hut scene of Enter the Dragon in some form or another, pushing an asian ideal of female beauty on black men that we don’t even really accept in the first place.
Figure 4: This is NOT what we should be shooting for.
This six-decade epidemic of yellow fever has left the modern asian woman with a sense of her own beauty as overinflated as a black woman’s is underinflated. Anyone that’s ever been to a mixed club has experienced the stratospheric ego of even the ugliest asian female. But while they have a humble attitude toward white men (who they view as superior), they have a princess-and-the-pauper attitude when it comes to black dudes (who they view as inferior). What makes this so infuriating is the fact that, beyond having a college degree, 99% OF ASIAN WOMEN DON’T HAVE ANYTHING BLACK MEN WANT:
- Booty
- Boobs
- Lips
- Skin tone between honey and dark dark chocolate
- Rhythm
- Humility
- Basic knowledge of (good) hiphop, r&b, neo-soul, jazz, and black theater
- Basic knowledge of social, economic, and political issues confronting black people
- Cooking skills
- A sense of humor
While I and other black men like me, notwithstanding the fact that we aren’t white, have EVERYTHING they want…
- Height
- Lips (asian girls don’t admit they want this)
- Butt (asian girls don’t admit they want this)
- Rhythm
- “Street Cred”
- Wit
- High income
- College degree
- Culture
- Appreciation for the classical arts
My new purpose in life is to, on behalf of every asian man and black man subjected to an asian girl’s bullshit, be an unmitigated asshole to these women for as long as I live.
I need a black girlfriend, a bottle of wine, and whole lot of fucking therapy.
*This is according to the research firm Carlyle, Fisk & Rhodes**
**This research firm does not actually exist
***It should be noted that her sister did buy into it, and is dating the 2nd stupidest looking white man I have ever seen
One question and then on to my comment, what is the difference between numbers two and three? Whether or not they’d admit it?
On to the comment.. The only place i’ve seen black men and asian women ‘date’ really is in Jamaica.. and then the tables have kind of turned, because it is the Jamaican man dating the coolie woman. Granted I wasn’t in Jamaica that long, but long enough to see a few examples of this and have my grandmother fill my head with a whole bunch of mess about the coolie chinaman and the coolie indians dem.
Over here asian women avoid black men like the plague. They either won’t date asian men because thats who their parents want them to date, or they have their own self-hate issues. Marrying a white man is like the jackpot for them, they act like his ass is doing them a huge favor by marrying and accepting them and giving them children who have *just* enough asian features. I have one asian friend, and we’ve just became friends recently but the insight she gives me about the culture is amazing. Nothing I can get from reading.
Plus she tells me the good times to go Canal St. for the hook up..
I’m a 4 and still ended up marrying a bigheaded white guy with no dancing ability. I blame it on being afraid of black women because you have not truly experience the fear until you go to the club with your man and know that the women would pay money to slap you roundeyed for having the nerve to take one of their finer chances of Mr. Right. White women are used to their men being rice chasers and have learned to let it slide on by.
“I need a black girlfriend, a bottle of wine, and whole lot of fucking therapy.”
*Slow clap*
Question- given the list of things Black men want that Asian women don’t have….what is the attraction? Is it the submissiveness (percieved or real) or the fact that White men want them too?
To that list, could you add something like “Ages gracefully”. Old Asian women tend to morph in to trolls (so do some Latinas).
“…slap you roundeyed…”
That is the funniest damn thing I’ve ever heard. Chicken Jon is going to hear this from me CONSTANTLY from now on.
“…Question- given the list of things Black men want that Asian women don’t have….what is the attraction?”
The asian girls I dated were genuinely pretty girls who, at least at first, had fantastic attitudes, which is what initially attracted me. Many asian girls definitely have something to offer, but they don’t have so much to offer (especially to black men) that warrants the bigheadedness you see from way too many of them. The hubris is where my anger starts.
ROTFLMAO @ “Old Asian women tend to morph in to trolls”
@Sister Toldja
NO idea what that’s about other than we’re just a different flavour, you know? I’ve never personally known a single “submissive” asian woman and honestly now, we have some man asses on us. I mean, we can look cute and all but uh, we all have ass like 12 year old boys.
Chris, you do that and also, maybe sometime when Chicken Jon is numb enough from the drink you could slap him roundeyed for me for all those asian guys who wouldn’t date an asian girl cuz they were too bent on chasing some floppy titted, pasty white girl with bleached blonde hair.
Not that I’m bitter.
Wow Chris, this was deep…I felt the pain on this one.
“She tells you that none of her friends date black people
She tells you she had apprehensions about dating black people
She tells you her parents don’t approve of her dating you
She tells you about how often she defends her relationship with you to her parents and/or friends ”
I hope to this your response was “Fuck you”
Thank you for this one:
“This six-decade epidemic of yellow fever has left the modern asian woman with a sense of her own beauty as overinflated as a black woman’s is underinflated.”
That’s sweet
And to Lolo damn right, tell all your girls to stay away from my future husband too!
, I’m serious clown.
I often wondered the REAL attraction.
I’ve never met ONE black woman attracted to an asian man. Although I was slightly impressed with Chicken Jon…something about a man who loves chicken.
lol @sister toldja…trolls? dayum. Good thing black dont crack.
And Chris…quit fronting like you dont have the honeys all over you.
BTW Rosie is Hot!
@ Lolo- LOL! Well, if it makes you feel better, not ALL Black girls have big old round butts! *hangs head and curses White blood*
Dead @ “floppy tittied White girls”! BWAHAHAHA! It’s funny how we all kinda resent everyone else, isn’t it? I wonder if the Asian boys are just retaliating. Where I grew up, I RARELY saw two Asian people together, unless they were Indian. You know what I have noticed? Young Asian couples always look happy as hell! Like, exceedingly happy. Why is that?
Co-sign with Anmarie. Congrats on the nuptuals….now keep your sister away from my potential man!
There are some Asian men who I’ve found attractive in the past, (mostly pacific Asian, I think it’s the darker skin) but the height always ruined it for me. I have yet to meet one over 5′ 7″. It probably doesn’t help that I’m 6′..
Tina Turner, Angela Basset, Janet Jackson, Stacey Dash(even though she’s still relatively young) & Lynn Whitfield are good examples of good black not cracking.. although i believe a few people in this mix have had some surgical alterations..
It also helps that we have full lips, so when we get old and wrinkly it doesnt look like we have an asshole on our faces.
“what is the difference between numbers two and three? Whether or not they’d admit it?”
Category 2 dates white people and only white people. Category three prefers to date asian people, but if they feel they MUST go outside of their race, the man must be white.
“I have yet to meet one over 5′ 7″”
Chicken Jon is 5′ 10″.
hahahaha, for that list, you must not be talking about pinays and sri lankans and laotians. melanin, love of food, and great personalities.
this post does crack me up because i’m thinking of the dorky otakus that straight up track asian women in the hopes that if they bother them long enough, they’ll both magically transform into anime characters or teleport to geisha houses.
I am an Asian man and this entry is pretty much on point with many Asian girls. Of course I have no idea what it feels like for a black man to be dating one of these chicks, but I can imagine the frustration. I am from the DC area and have recently moved to NYC and I am convinced that this is a DC Asian girl thing. Asian girls in DC are a different breed completely, not very open minded and many, if not MOST of them, have been quoted, “I only date white guys.” Pretty infuriating from an Asian man’s perspective. However, ever since moving to NY, I find that Asian girls are a lot more open-minded here and are open to dating whatever race comes their way. A glimmer of hope I suppose.
Might I offer some defense for the other Asian girls out there:
* Booty (def not up to par with a Black man’s standards)
* Boobs (you will be surprised sometimes, I know I have)
* Lips (better than white people)
* Skin tone between honey and dark dark chocolate (can’t help that)
* Rhythm (could use work)
* Humility (I believe this applies to all girls of all colors, esp in groups)
* Basic knowledge of (good) hiphop, r&b, neo-soul, jazz, and black theater (some do)
* Basic knowledge of social, economic, and political issues confronting black people (Everyone has some knowledge of this, although do Black folks know about Asian-American struggles/issues?)
* Cooking skills (depends on the type of food you like, there are some good cooks out there)
* A sense of humor (you might be right on this one)
Personally, I love black women, they are the only group who will definitely show you love in the club.
Oh ok, I get it now.
Get out, 5′ 10″ huh? If he was Filipino I’d be even more amazed.. about 70% of the Asian men i’ve been attracted to were Filipino..
“Everyone has some knowledge of this, although do Black folks know about Asian-American struggles/issues?”
Somewhat. http://bitterasianmen.com/
I clearly need to move to NYC.
“Personally, I love black women, they are the only group who will definitely show you love in the club.”
Thank you, I have a middle eastern friend that says the same thing. These black men on here are acting like we live to play them. I don’t know all black women but my group of friends (big group) are some pretty wonderful and friendly mofos.
“I clearly need to move to NYC.”
Clearly.
chicken jon is not only 5′10, but has the dick of a python. i attribute it to all the hennessy he dranks, fried chicken he consumes and his love for old school hiphop
Chicken Jon… Is that you?
Pythons…don’t have dicks. What are you saying about my friend, you cock monkey?
Lolo-you are TOO funny….
I just abotu fell out of my chair reading your comments…
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I THINK I AM GOING TO FUCKING CRY!
http://www.bitterasianmen.com/asiangirl.gif
http://www.bitterasianmen.com/asianguy.gif
http://www.bitterasianmen.com/whiteguy.gif
Is he saying he has a long dick, as in long like a python?
In that case, I am guessing this IS Chicken Jon. Nice to meet you, we’ve heard such…..interesting things!
@ Chris or someone else equally knowledgeable- I read somewhere, can’t remember where, that the WHITE MAN created the small penised, sexually weak Asian man stereotype in the early 20th century. Asian men were gaining favor with White women, who are always looking for something exotic. It was like the whole “Latin Lover” explosion a few years back. Anyway, having failed to keep White women away from Black men with the huge-penised, sexually insatiable stereotype (because what smart woman hears “big dick and likes it rough” and doesn’t want to try?), the WHITE MAN decided to change it up a little bit and try to emasculate the Asian man instead.
Has anyone ever heard this before? Or did I make up a FABULOUS conspiracy?
@ D- Rock on, buddy. But I have to challenge you one one point, RE: knowledge of the Black person’s struggle. Everyone may know that Sean Bell got shot, but I wouldn’t say everyone knows key things about us. See: white people being shocked by Obama’s pastor stating what 80% of all Black people think and feel on a daily basis.
“Personally, I love black women, they are the only group who will definitely show you love in the club.”
you are the first asian man that i have ever come across that said that. i’ve always wanted to date an asian (well, actually i always wanted to date all races of men. like a benetton ad… it hasn’t happened yet) i’ve always had a thing for filipinos (i blame ernie reyes jr. in surf ninjas)
and chris i agree with esquire. you know all the offers are flooding in. i can imagine your inbox
My inbox: http://www.moanaswake.com/Explorations/files/page1_blog_entry0_6.jpg
Sister Toldja - much appreciated. Just to clarify, not saying we know everything there is to know about Black culture/history/etc. However I do believe that America has become more aware of certain Black issues/struggles (due to school, strong Black leaders, etc). There are ignorant people out there for sure and there is still a bit to go (ie the details behind the Sean Bell incident as well as that Obama fact) Comparatively, Asian issues do not really make the media (except for that crazy Korean and Vtech).
The white man created several stereotypes and has been holding down every racial group in America. I’m sure you’re well aware of African-American examples, but as for Asian-Americans…
1) Mickey Rooney’s yellow face performance in Breakfast at Tiffany’s.
2) Creating the “Yellow Peril” in the early 1900s with the Fu ManChu character.
3) Every Hollywood movie where the Asian man does not get the girl.
Oh well…tough break.
@Anmarie
I’ll do what I can but no promises. There are just some men that are worth risking a beating for, in my book. Mmmm Tyson, TJ Holmes, Djimon …. we’ll swap you Rick Yune, Daniel Dae Kim and John Cho for a night?
Wha…wha…what kindda deal is that?…I’m utterly confused and dismayed. NO! I’m gonna start dating Asian men then ask you if you want Neo for a night as a consolation prize. You girl leave my Djimon alone.
http://www.bitterasianmen.com/whiteguy.gif
Was funny as hell…
Neo?? That is loooow, although if he could keep his mouth shut I might try some for twenty minutes. Shit, Neo …. that’s like if I offered you Kravitz.
MmmmmDjimon, although I don’t see how either of us could manage to dislodge Kimora the Remora.
This makes more sense now.. I was thinking Matrix Neo, not Neyo the singer..
*sucks teeth* Please.. Ne-yo don’t want no fish…
Djimon is sexual chocolate personified.
And uh.. Kravitz? I’d smash.
The only asian person I think i could date is Amerie (even though she’s dropped off the side of the planet within the past year). other than that, im gonna pass on the asian girls…idk but maybe its something about coming home to a house reeking of rice and egg foo yung everyday…*shudders* ill pass.
i thought amerie was a blasian
doesn’t the one drop rule count for her as well?
Amerie = Korean & Black, just like Kimora… two totally different looks though huh? Well Kimora is 1/4 Korean 1/4 Japanese and 1/2 black, but still..
@brran, egg foo yung is something the chinese slaves on the railroads invented so that they could spit boogers in the food, fry it up and laugh at the fools that would eat it. It’s not chinese but there are chinese dishes that are far nastier.
Lol I’m feeling this post man, keep up the killa work
- http://www.anythingblack.net
Dimwitted Asian women have the best snatch!
asian chicks i run into these days are pretty much like white girls …azn paris hiltons… young and dumb with a hint of yellow.
huzzah!
She is blasian, as is Kimora and that one chick that was the Ho in ATL.
Thanks for the heads up LoLo. I think ill just stick with West Indian Food.
so, the experience of dating asian women…is that a positive or a negative? i had chinese friends in high school and not ONE of them was docile or submissive…so i’ve not bought into the hype on that..as for dating asians, i have seen a few that i’ve found attractive… i always thought russell wong was hot…
note to self:
i can’t fuck with y’all while i’m at work - i laugh too hard and the tears start flowing. i just had a Come to Jesus Moment at my desk.
being a black woman, i can’t stand the tokenism that happens with (some) black men when they get with an asian woman (or a snowflake, for that matter). i also can’t stand asian women who won’t accept that they’re asian and try to either make themselves more european (eye surgeries and shit) or black (have you ever watched a flatback asian girl toot her ass up like she’s lifting something, and point at shit that is seemingly invisible to everyone else in the room?) moreso, i can’t stand being a commodity with men outside my race (particularly drunk white boys) who think they’re taking a walk on the wildside by dancing with my black ass.
I need a black girlfriend, a bottle of wine, and whole lot of fucking therapy.
Will you settle for a black girlfriend, a bottle of wine, and whole lot of fucking?
That would probably suffice as well.
Many asian girls definitely have something to offer, but they don’t have so much to offer (especially to black men) that warrants the bigheadedness you see from way too many of them. The hubris is where my anger starts
QFT!!!
I agree with Esquire, too - Chris stop frontin.’ Lolo, your hilarious! Now if D is single and willing to mingle I need to be on the next thing smoking to NYC.
Sorry I meant you’re - that’s what I get for secret surfing at work!
Hmm. It seems that Black fellas are really offended that Asian women do not treat them like the kings they believe themselves to be. This amuses, no, tickles, no, DELIGHTS me! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jcroft/2242508517/
I so need this shirt, really, we all need this shirt.
My girl friend treats me like a king
Submissive my ass, every Asian girl friend i’ve ever had has been a harassing pain in the ass like Lolo here. And fun to be around. Still stay away from my Djimon, fool. What you talking bout girl Lenny K. Was super hot! before that damn relaxer or press n curl straight hair. Same reason a can’t stand Al Sharpton.
I might take Chow Yun Fat, he’s grown man sexy. Come on Ne-yo can sing, I’m sure he;s not so bad once you get to know him.
i’m with you Toldja. i’m all for cultural preservation, but its hard to find a decent black man in DC. they all like Latinas and white women. i dont see too many with Asians.
@Lolo …Although…. John Cho is that kindda nerdy boy cute that I like. We’ll see.
@ Mr Smith- *Rolls eyes* And here, I thought we were friends.
OMG LOLO! That is the best shirt ever!!!!!! You all should have them! Love it!
LOL@ Anmarie trying to give away Ne-yo! I have a list of other donateable Negroes as well!
Asian girls- we can TOTALLY be BFFs if you all continue to reject and insult Black men. It makes me shine on the inside, like butterfly kisses or the new moon. Can you also make it a point to add “I KNOW what they say about Black men ain’t always true?”
You know… long ago, a friend of mine (asian) was dating an asian chick who had absolutely positively NO CLUE about the what possibly (ahem probably) happened to the late great Martin Luther King Jr. She denounced all of my buddies friends’ (all of whom are black, including me) theories concerning MLK’s assassination being one ordered by multiple parties ranging from the government to the mafia to his own people. She heralded “Why would the government assassinate MLK, when he is regarded as a National Hero? That doesn’t make any sense at ALL! Why would they commit murder against one one of this Nations Icons! Murder is wrong!”
This, Ladies and Gentlemen, was the first of several encounters that brought about nothing but despair and disdain for my friend’s “then” girlfriend as she continued to spew statements of ignorance, exposing her brief, yet racist and sheltered life. This woman was in her mid to early twenties screaming this nonsense and one could only hope that she has either been exposed to reality which allows her to think more freely… OR been run over by a truck.
Then again, most of the Asian women I’ve come across from Chinese descent have had a similar thought process. (shaking head)
Asian women don’t just hate black men. Asian people as a whole hate blacks. Period.
Shocker!!
I really don’t have shit to say…
As for Chris, if you almost married an asian chick, you cant hate em’ that much, and furthermore, I’m convinced that we would never work (or black girls period) because I (we) would be way too much for you (you have been immersed in the “others”, for way too long, I doubt you can turn back now). Not to reinforce, the black girls don’t want me set-up but I am slowly being convinced that you sincerely prefer the latter.
“I need a black girlfriend, a bottle of wine, and whole lot of fucking therapy.”
WE DONT BELIEVE YOU, YOU NEED MORE PEOPLE!
btw, I want my ring back
“It makes me shine on the inside, like butterfly kisses or the new moon. Can you also make it a point to add “I KNOW what they say about Black men ain’t always true?”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
That’s why some of them don’t get treated like kings after the hook up, haha. But obviously Mr. Smith is raining Christmas morning over there!
@Admiral,
East asians hate EVERY body. When I started dating, my mom told me “black, purple, green, fine but don’t ever bring home one of those Japanese.” And seriously, you haven’t heard some seriously bigoted slinging until you eavesdrop on a bunch of older korean women slamming the Filipinas. Maaaaan, it gets nastier than toe jam in a pair of Crocs.
I think that it’s actually good that 35% of Asian girls cross breed with the cracker kind. Let’s be honest we don’t need any more Asian people anyway, we got enough of em. =)
Anyways Dirt speaks the truth and I have to agree with all of these perceptions. Oh Asians are probably the most racist fucks on planet anyway - you don’t know it cuz they are just in the closet racists.
ooooooo business woman this post pissed my girlfriend off too.
She states: Why do they have to smacked around by racist women before they recognize we have the love for them?
seven - HA always willing to mingle. I love my Asian women, but many of them seem to lack the pride of being who they are - which is very consistent and sexy among black women.
Admiral Furious - Your generalization of Asian people is pretty ignorant in itself. Your friend’s “then” gf’s statement regarding MLK may be slightly ignorant and naive, but how would it be considered racist? She openly acknowledged MLK as a national hero…the only fault I see here is that she didn’t understand/agree with you and your friends’ conspiracy theories regarding his death. All the Asians that I know have absolutely no problems with Black people, so either you are hanging with the wrong Asian crowd, or there is some serious misunderstandings between you and them.
thebusinesswoman:
Hey, if you don’t think it’ll work out between you and Chris, I will gladly take him off your hands. I too am a black person who has been immersed in the “others” for far too long and prefer my black men a little bit um…not so black. That came out really, really wrong.
Beside that, what is it with the asian chicks in black music videos? My boyfriend (sorry, Chris) and his group of black men do not think that asian chicks are particularly good-looking. They do, however, like the ones with “chinky” eyes and “good” hair. Fuck them all.
I meant the ones who are half-black, half-asian. I seriously need to read over my writing before i post.
The Business woman just gave him the business! Very interesting point! I
was just out on a blind date last night and my date was white. Because I’m not all the black men, even those out with white women, thought it was their “duty” to befriend me and ask why I was not out with a black or “atleast mixed dude.” WTF? Anyway, I just think sometimes people say things because they feel its appropriate, not because it’s what they truly believe. Those guys could have cared less about me and my future, but because I was out with Whitey McFadden it was a necessity to find out what was “wrong” with me… sometimes I really hate Atlanta.
Yea, now he want to see what’s good, since Chun Lee don’t want to do no more “spinning side kicks”
I am very perturbed, I so thought me and chris was gonna make some cute little blog babies
No more Christmas morning…sniff sniff
notblonde:
preach! and the thing is that its not like black girls (and I mean chocolate) are a rarity in the videos but they are usually in the group scene and are never the lead or get “one on one” time with the artist. Its usually the asian, latina or the mixed chick, so like you said: fuck them all.
“Ouch, that last FU hurt,” said the mixed girl - but seriously, I understand your points nyc and not blonde.
Word Seven I’ve been there. I went out with a white dude a couple of times, man black men looked like they could kill me. Seriously pissed off, Head to toe ice grills. I said these mofos date whoever they want whenever they want and have the nerve to kill me for enjoying a meal with a white man. The nerve.
seven:
black men like to see black women as the back up, as the “in case every other female race has rejected me” woman. Thats the reason they get so mad when we date outside of our race. Its like hey you were supposed to be sitting around waiting for me while I explore and sow my wild oats, you werent supposed to be doing your own thing.
I’m glad I’m not the only one whose gone this foolishness! When I’ve mentioned this tom foolery to other folks they don’t believe me. Nerve is right; knowing good and d*mn well none of them would have wanted to ask me out for date ’cause I’m not easy! You know those black men talked about us like some dogs the next day…
@ seven
Hey, I love them all. I have never dated a asian dude but I wouldn’t be against it, I love having a new story to tell. I remember when I would be out with the white dude , it seemed like the white girls was hating, but the white/black dudes was congratulating. He was looking like a king in there! I love slightly dorky dudes…so when they would see me and then see him, it was a cool juxtaposition.
As for not wanting a too black male, what exactly is TOO BLACK. Even though I may come off as quite *black*, I am actually quite all over the place. I can mix with the best of them. I don’t date thugs and what not (these dorks I love sure do love trying to act like they hard, so they get dropped) but initially, my pleasure is a super smart, somewhat dorky (glasses are a plus), decent (clean) dressing man, with miles of personality, and confidence. Someone I want to obey, and cater to, blah blah. Someone who will let me know when to shut the fuck up. In essence, a damn man.
Now Chris, has almost all these qualities, I could totally fall in love with his personality alone, but what would throw me off, is that I would always be thinking that he was ‘doing me a favor by dating MY black ass’
Geez, the knife cuts deep
google you speak the truth. I had a white male friend who I went to a movie with. We didn’t hug, hold hands or anything to indicate that we were any more than friends. I had groups of black guys literally stare me down and one assclown actually come up to me as I went to the bathroom and ask why i was “stepping out”. I actually had no idea what he meant at first so I just ignored him and continued on my way. Then I got pissed later when I realized what he had said.
That made my blood boil. I can’t even have white male friends and go out in public with them without it being a travesty to black people.
Oh!!!! Thanks for the explanation google. Knowing the truth makes me feel so much better: I just love being someone’s back up plan (no first choice for me)! I guess I better cancel that trip to NYC to meet up with D :-). Don’t want to give the brothers the ‘wrong’ impression.
thebusinesswoman:
too black basically means that they are very much immersed in African American culture (whatever that is). I was brought up much in the same way as Chris; i have ties to African American culture but for the most part I’m not culturally black. Dating a culturally black person (as I am now) is weird as all get out because the culturally black girls he knows HATE me because I’m not. Plus he randomly makes fun of my complete distaste for rap/hip hop/spoken word.
Okay, I dare you ladies the next time you get attitude from black men about stepping out. Just hold your hands about a foot apart and say “but he’s black where it counts” and smiiiiiiiiile like it’s christmas.
I’m telling you, any time you tell one man that another’s got big wang it shuts it all down long enough for you to stroll off laughing.
@ NotBlonde - LMFAO!! *assclown*
@thebusinesswoman- I really need to move if you received no hateration
Now Chris, has almost all these qualities, I could totally fall in love with his personality alone, but what would throw me off, is that I would always be thinking that he was ‘doing me a favor by dating MY black ass’
Amen.
All I can say is that black men better watch out because white, latina, asian men are less afraid to pronounce their appreciation and yes their love for the black woman. Granted Im from NYC so I see this more often then someone from DC. But my thing is I only go where I’m appreciated and respected. If that non-black man is going to show me love and respect and can handle my black ass, then I will be his dark chocolate african queen lol. And to that man who totally disrespected you NonBlonde, you should have flipped him the bird and told him a hearty and loving “fuck you!”
I think how you are percieved by the black dude when you are out with the others is all about location, location, location
Me and ol’ boy was always in Westwood and Beverly hills and shit, so to the white girls, it was like oh hell no, thats MY trust fund ( and yes my boy was in law school) but to other white dudes, it was like yeah, walk on the wild so bro, and the black dudes was like yeah girl, get that lawyer, and the black dudes, was like yeah, walk on the wildside bro, cause they was probably in there with a becky they damn selves
I hate the man code…ass is ass, pink is always goin be pink
But if you are in the more predominantly black areas, then yeah, they would have a fit, cause they out tryna find a black girl, and alas, brad already hit that
Ah, the ways of the world
Will do Lolo! We’re going out next week. You rock, girl!!!
@ Lolo - Wow, I’m gonna step out for a bit just to have the opportunity to say that.
D and Lolo… as soon as I wrote that… I thought to myself… what the hell am I thinking. You’re right, not all asians hate blacks. In fact (at the risk of being called a minor deity of John Rocker) many of my closest friends are Asian…. which makes my previous statement hypocritical. HOWEVER, D you can certainly attest for this, the general attitude toward blacks in this country (especially in the DC area) is highly negative.
I am struggling to properly make my opinion known here, I apologize…. but I make no excuse.
I DO NOT, however, take back about what I said about my friend’s previous girlfriend. The racism came out from her over time… with statements like Black People are properly depicted in the movie Training Day and Menace 2 Society. She eventually began speaking how uneducated black people were (directly in front of me… after I her man and I had just completed our undergraduate degree while she was still pursuing hers).
Okay… with that said… let me make a non general statement, while trying to ease out of utilizing only personal experiences. During the NFL playoffs, Chris and I were invited to a friend (Korean) of ours’ house. We were instructed to bring food. Fine. We brought the food but had a little trouble deciphering which house he lived in down in Fairfax Va. (Chris please correct me if I’m wrong about the Doctors domicile) Anyhow, we were creeping along (the neighborhood is all Asian)… trying desperately to see the house numbers, and finally figured out that his house was behind us. We backed into his driveway and began unloading what we brought into the house. Not five minutes later… police patrol cars came rolling through, scoping the scene. We thought nothing of it. The Doctor eventually mentioned that not once in the years that he’d lived there had a police car come rolling through. Coincidence? 6 Foot Plus Negro who passes the paper bag test and a 5′7″ Negro with glasses who fails the paper bag test carrying goods into a house before the cops show. Come on.
I completely take back the ALL Asians are racist part. But many of them are toward black people. Especially in DC.
Good post google …
The double standard has been pissing me off for a long time. If I have chemistry with someone I go for it - race is not an issue. Granted I could do without the snide comments or looks but the thrills I get from being with someone I truly have a connection with, out-weigh all those negative vibes. Like that reggae song sez it … I’m blind to you haterz…
the business woman: yes I agree about location, but we were in Perimeter/Dunwoody which is predominately white area. It was probably our timing though- it was around 6:30pm and most of folk in there still had on their office badges; but who am I fooling it’s all Atlanta which is just about all black. Once again, I should probably move (for a more diverse environment). Thanks for tips, though- I need it!
@ TBW- HU!!!!! We gets it in! Tell em why you mad!
*Serious face*
Yeah, it’s pretty sad to see that brothers are actually offended that women of another race aren’t fucking with them. This is a racialized society, the only one who is bound to y’all is the sisters. This was funny when I read it this morning, but now its kinda sad, especially since there have been other guys echoing the same attitude.
Chris, I think “Black girlfriend, wine, fucking, therapy” should be your goal list for 2008.
That was big of you AF.
@The Business Woman - This thing about black men dating out, because a man has a record of being with other races does that mean that he looks down on black women? Or that he finds us less beautiful? I’m wondering? Is that his bullshit? Or our insecurity?
@Seven (and others): “I agree with Esquire, too - Chris stop frontin.’”
Try to be humble…you’re frontin’. Talk honestly about all the women you’ve dated….you’re a blowhard or a player. Guess a guy just can’t win.
@Sister Toldja: “It seems that Black fellas are really offended that Asian women do not treat them like the kings they believe themselves to be.”
Can someone point me to the part where I either stated or insinuated that I expect to be treated like royalty by anyone, asian or otherwise? All I’ve said was that asian girls who date black men with the subtext of doing them a favor within a racial context are assholes. I expect only to be treated with respect and evenhandedness, and I don’t think that’s an unreasonable thing to expect from a woman whether she’s yellow, black, white, red, or green.
I understand that you are an opponent of black men dating outside of black, which is fair enough. But just consider your own forcefield of default animosity toward black men I’d have to contend with from the get go if I were to approach someone like you:
From ‘Carbon Trading’: “Black men leave us to raise the babies. They love their boys more than they love us. They don’t marry as much as they play house. They expect us to put up with blatant cheating and lying. They approach us in the street with “Shorty, yo! You got some sexy ass lips” (quote from a lower-class miscreatin) and “Your ass to waist ratio is phenominal” (quote from an Ivy League miscreatin).”
This is a brush that you seem to paint all black men with, including the ones it doesn’t apply to at all. Though I’m not one of them, there are good black men out there who will make the equally wrong assumption that all black women think this way about black men, and will avoid black women altogether because of it. In the end, you’ve got a friggin’ middle school dance where nobody’s dancing because everybody’s afraid of each other. Everybody loses.
I’m sorry, but your low expectations of black men coupled with what appears to be your tendency to meet only bottom-feeding black men (the only seemingly reasonable cause of your anger) is beginning to take on the air of a self-fulfilling prophecy.
“As for Chris, if you almost married an asian chick, you cant hate em’ that much, and furthermore, I’m convinced that we would never work (or black girls period)”
I never said I hated all asian chicks, I said I hated the ones in categories 2, 3, and 5.
“because I (we) would be way too much for you (you have been immersed in the “others”, for way too long, I doubt you can turn back now).”
Once again I’ve failed to be black enough. Oh well…thank God I’m Native too. Haliwa-Saponi girls make crazy pancakes.
“Why do they have to smacked around by racist women before they recognize we have the love for them?”
I’ve heard more angry/racist comments about black men from the black women in this and other threads over the last week than I’ve heard from all the non-black girls I’ve ever come across in my entire life combined.
Where’s the love?
According to the sweeping comments here and in other posts, I drop illegitimate kids everywhere, I believe in ‘bros before hoes’, I lie and cheat, I ‘front’ about my attractiveness or lack thereof to women, I never intend on committing, a talk to women in the streets like a cave man, I think I’m royalty, and since I’ve dated outside my race I’m no longer qualified to date black women.
‘Ain’t noooo looooove….in the heart of the cityyyyyy……’
Correction: ummm I realized I put latina instead of latino..but you all got the drift.
@ Machete: That is exactly my point. I am not opposed to black men who happen to date outside their race. If you have a connection with that female then do you boo. But the problem I have is with black men who are blatantly prejudiced against black women, as if somehow we are inferior. Then you have the cojones to try to look at me sideways when Billy wants some of this. Lo siento honey, that shit pisses me off!
Notblonde said “i have ties to African American culture but for the most part I’m not culturally black.”
Sister Toldja replied: Now who the fuck is gonna clean this vomit off of my shoes?!?!
It’s all love sister (wait, can I call you that). As long as you know that you are Black where it counts: aesthetically, which means you can be locked the fuck up, shot the fuck up and discriminated against just like the rest of us!
Admiral - Hmm…I can never fully understand how it feels to be a black man, but I sympathize. I do agree, the DC area is diverse, but not a lot of mixing. For the majority, it is very segregated. I will also agree that Asians from older generations may be more racist than the Asians of our generation. After clarifying, your friend’s ex is one of those people who doesn’t realize she may actually be slightly racist. As for racism in general, you’ve clearly felt the heat from Asians, probably from whites too. I’ve felt the heat from Blacks and whites before as well, but I chalk it up to circumstance. shit happens, but hopefully everyone’s trying to be better.
There were 150,000 posts between the time I started writing my response and the time it posted.
Anyhow, I did not mean to imply that I thought I was doing anyone a ‘favor’ by dating them. It was simply my response to how I would look at asian women who think THEY’RE doing me a favor IF i was enough of an asshole to think that way.
Fortunately, my father did not raise that kind of a man.
Ok I’m done. Let the man-bashing continue
In the end, you’ve got a friggin’ middle school dance where nobody’s dancing because everybody’s afraid of each other. Everybody loses.
damn slim!!! haha good analogy!