Planet of the Apes
3 03 2008One of the biggest complaints black people had with the original version of ‘Planet of the Apes’ was the fact that the intelligent leader apes were light while the peon monkeys were dark. This shit was a flagrant negative racial metaphor, and I’m pretty surprised that it didn’t cause a lot more controversy/riots than it actually did.
Figure 1: Apes have Wiggers, too
So when ‘Planet of the Apes’ was released again in 2001, my primary motivation was to see how they’d address this issue. For the first 30 minutes(?) or so as the plot developed, I was fairly satisfied. The peon soldier monkeys that were chasing the humans through the jungle weren’t all that dissimilar in appearance to the evil general monkey, and it looked like they were going to stay away from having apes that were inexplicably blond.
But…someone involved in the making of that movie just couldn’t help him/herself. I’m a fairly quiet guy in a movie theater, but when the humans were brought back to the ape town and they showed the ape denizens playing basketball and hanging out on the steps smoking shit, I couldn’t help but yell “OH, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!” - which resulted (thankfully) in the entire theater exploding with laughter.
Figure 2: This would never ever happen
Everyone in the room knew what I was pissed about, so I know I’m not being paranoid when I say that the new Planet of the Apes is just as fuckedupdedly racist as the original (though at least this time it was kinda funny). Why couldn’t the goddamn apes be skateboarding or playing tag or street hockey? Why them niggaz gotta be chillin’ on the goddamn steps? It doesn’t even follow logically from the apes’ origins.
The original apes were on a spaceship full of white people. It would follow, then, that the apes would develop sports that mimicked what their ‘owners’ would play - and for white people that’d be soccer or hockey or poker or some shit. Basketball would be the last thing to develop, if at all. I know there’s a missing link to that argument, but fuck you.
Figure 3: The Real Dr. Zaius
Second of all, the original apes from the spaceship were intelligent as hell. They flew spaceships for Christ’s sake. Why, then, would the descendant monkeys have devolved into a bunch of lazy fucktards passing the day by sitting on the steps and getting high? If you wanna make the apes black, fine. But at least stereotype them positively and have them attending a fucking poetry slam or something! Sittin’ on the damn steps…fuck you.
Near the end of the movie, the girl ape kisses Mark Walberg on the lips. My white friend leans over and says to me “hey dude, I bet you’re getting a hard on.”
I hate everything.
laugh.
i just found it amusing that the ‘chick’ ape looked just like friggin either janet or michael jackson…i think mostly like janet. bless her little heart.
I got more of a Paula Abdul vibe from her.
ROFL!!
I just discovered your blog via tag surf.
Too effing funny!
LOVE IT!
You seriously need yoga.
I hate planet of the apes!!! and King kong!(they drug him here in chains turned him into a minstrel show and then let the white woman be his downfall. Damn King Kong!!)
brownsugarpages.wordpress.com
They also had someone quote Rodney King in that version “can we all just get along”
http://digg.com/movies/WalMart_website_compares_African_American_leaders_to_Apes?offset=51
LMAO!!! I LOVE THIS BLOG!
Does anyone find this picture offensive? [img]http://photos-e.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v195/31/48/21204059/n21204059_31248020_431.jpg[/img]
Sorry, I’ll just put the link.
http://photos-e.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v195/31/48/21204059/n21204059_31248020_431.jpg
blah ive seen it before mr smitch its a whatever thing, the only person it should be offensive to is lebron he got paid for it
Man, you must be all fucked up and insecure thinking that the apes are supposed to represent anyfuckin one, they are APES DUH.Who carse if one is light and one is dark (that you think represent blacks) lol.Why would you think the dumb one is supposed to repsesent a black person?? That is some insecure shit I am aproud Black man and I would never consider that at all.It is ignorant as hell.Be proud of your skin color and you would not try to find any issues out of something that has nothing to do with your fuckin race.Always jelous of the light skin people including the black light skinned people.Be happy with your self man,damn what the fuck is next.
Preacher1
@Preacher1
You have the innocence and naiveté of a five year old. How endearing.
Go to http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0065462/ and view the character name for the actor ‘Don Pedro Colley’.
There’s coincidence, and there’s fuckedupdedness.
Ha, to be cursing and then call yourself preacher. THAT is fucked up.
Yo. I haven’t seen the new PotA but I HAVE to now. That sounds hilariously racist
Well, white folks did invent basketball…its true, lol.
L
Who the fuck cares if it says Don pedro plays a negro, lol.More insecurity,it has nothing to do with the films meaning.Duh somebody on IMDB writes something and you believe everything you read lol.lets all make something out of nothing .ItS a film about Apes taking over the world, not white apes portraying white people and dumb apes portraying black people, JUST FUCKIN APES.iF YOU SEE YOURSELF AS A DUMB APE I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU AND HOPE ONE DAY YOU WILL see the posative side of Life and learn to have a higher self esteem.You seem like the type of person who would say a job did not hire you because you are black lol.Be Proud.The old Planet of the Apes films are great,dont Create HATE.
Preacher 1,
Are you back? Seriously?
http://stuffblackpeoplehate.com/why-you-shouldnt-read-this-blog/
If that doesn’t help, try this:
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=manly_suicide
Oh my gosh so I just saw planet of the apes (marky marky edition) this weekend and I really enjoyed it! Especially the part where he kisses the girl ape at the end.
but the nigga apes hanging on the corner wearing leather jackets in a free style ciper sipping on 40s was priceless!